i think i've solved the fat problem

[adolf hamster]

ok, so crazy idea bad pitch.....

so we've recently acquired 2 new cats in our household on top of our existing resident. the previous resident is young and healthy, and pretty normal.

however the 2 newcomers are ex laboratory cats, so they've been used to being stuck in a cage with a daily feeding ritual and not much else.

so they can't regulate their eating, so you need to give them servings, but the previous cat is used to just having a full bowl and eating when he wants (and he can maintain a healthy weight)

our solution is his food bowl is now up on a shelf that only he can jump up to, bit unconventional but it works, and this is where my idea comes from- why not do this to humans?

instead of sugar tax or whatever, just make all fast food restaurants have a physical challenge as an entry barrier, like say a rock climbing wall, if you're fit enough to climb the wall and carry your food down you can have it, but if your too fat it'll stop you, same goes for supermarkets.

so gd, genius or madness?

 

[adolf hamster]

Why not just have ID which states whether your fat tax exempt or not ? Then a button is pressed at checkout to either charge you for being fat, or not charge you for being healthy and responsible ?

because you can be fat and rich, a physical barrier doesn't discriminate between rich and poor

 

[adolf hamster]

Being poor is no excuse for being fat though so it's moot

neither is being rich, but being rich will enable people to stay fat if there was a selective fat tax.

@Ceryndrion tried that once, it went ok for a few years but then people started getting all angsty about it, called me mad they did, me? mad! the very idea....

 

[adolf hamster]

Real life hunger games for fatties, the motivated will stay healthy to avoid competing, the rest will be able to duel it out to the death battle royale and provide us all with entertaining television

and you think a bunch of whales trying to climb a rock wall just to get some kfc isn't entertaining?

because man, add some benny hill to that **** and we're golden.

 

[adolf hamster]

I'm healthy I don't venture near KFC so would not be something I'd see, unless it was on TV

i'm sure it wouldnt take long for some compilation videos to start popping up, it could be like cat videos but even bigger!

 

[adolf hamster]

I don't think a bit of jumping will take much fat off a cat. Cats are built for jumping and clambering.

the jumping isn't what drops the fat, not being able to get the food is.

it means we can keep the one cat's food bowl filled how he likes it but still prevent the others from gorging themselves.

it's not their fault, they've had pretty rough lives and over-eating is one of the less weird habits they've brought with them.

 

[adolf hamster]

This thread is full of brilliant ideas, when i am boss of the world (withing 6 month... put it in your diaries peasants) i might use some of these ideas, i will credit you chaps accordingly of course - who wants the one for tubby termination?

aside from the extermination of fat people, what are your other policies?

because if you're for the compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, free corsets for the under 5's and the abolition of slavery then you sir have my vote!

 

[adolf hamster]

Hmm i will get back to you on the asparagus item.... it is such a decisive problem i might have to have a referendum on it.. Could we negotiate a lunch time cut off for it instead? That would pass with ease.

you mean banning the serving of asparagus after lunch?

i guess that could work, as long as it's still served at breakfast.

 

[adolf hamster]

Gonna have to take that to a referendum and several High court rulings tbh its far to much of a decisive idea.
In the meantime can we agree on allowing Guinness to be served anytime during the day and bread only to be eaten with some sort of spread?

hmm, i'm down with the guinness idea, when you say spread what are we talking here? like only things like butter/nutella/jam or do sauces count?

 

[adolf hamster]

I can negotiate several types of sauces.. but if someone comes up wanting a bacon roll dry then its too the gallows

as long as they're queueing up behind the purveyors of crunchy peanut butter, people who put pineapple on pizzas and anyone who's ever claimed to enjoy a kebab sober i'm down with that.

 

[adolf hamster]

Ahh gd, where a not entirely serious proposition can inevitably spawn an entirely serious argument

 

[adolf hamster]

I'm sure many moderate people would respect your stand on asparagus, but what about all this extremist nonsense about abolishing slavery?

Oh i just put that in for a joke, thats what i say, if you can't laugh what can you do?

 

[adolf hamster]

Sorry, need new batteries for my sarcasm detecting thing.

My op talks about putting climbing walls in front of fast food outlets and you needed a sarcasm detector?