I try to be nice to people. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I try not to judge others, or I at least keep those judgements to myself (in real life, that is).
I've had enough of being defensive and pessimistic all the time. But it's so difficult to keep this up when you're constantly confronted by, for want of a better word, scum.
I've just been to the shops. I've barely walked two hundred yards down the road when I'm stopped by a woman who asks me if I know the area well. She continues to speak to me and, because my guard tends to be down these days, it takes me a few seconds to realise she's a junkie. The well trodden "I need bus money.....I've just come out of hospital....I need to visit my sick mother..." story is wheeled out and I'm giving her some change just to get rid of her.
On the way home I'm thinking about how she touched my hand and tried to kiss my cheek and how much I hate this waste of space. All I want to do is get home and scrub myself clean.
Half an hour passes and I no longer hate her. The more rational part of my brain wakes up and dismisses all those thoughts of rounding up junkies and beating them till they're clean, one way or another.
What I hate most is the way they make me want to be less nice to people. The way they make me want to put my guard up and keep everyone at a distance, just in case.
How do you deal with this?
How do you protect yourself from the scum without walling yourself in?
Anyway, thanks for reading.
Eagerly awaiting "cool story, bro", "tl;dr" and "worst.......thread ever".
I've had enough of being defensive and pessimistic all the time. But it's so difficult to keep this up when you're constantly confronted by, for want of a better word, scum.
I've just been to the shops. I've barely walked two hundred yards down the road when I'm stopped by a woman who asks me if I know the area well. She continues to speak to me and, because my guard tends to be down these days, it takes me a few seconds to realise she's a junkie. The well trodden "I need bus money.....I've just come out of hospital....I need to visit my sick mother..." story is wheeled out and I'm giving her some change just to get rid of her.
On the way home I'm thinking about how she touched my hand and tried to kiss my cheek and how much I hate this waste of space. All I want to do is get home and scrub myself clean.
Half an hour passes and I no longer hate her. The more rational part of my brain wakes up and dismisses all those thoughts of rounding up junkies and beating them till they're clean, one way or another.
What I hate most is the way they make me want to be less nice to people. The way they make me want to put my guard up and keep everyone at a distance, just in case.
How do you deal with this?
How do you protect yourself from the scum without walling yourself in?
Anyway, thanks for reading.
Eagerly awaiting "cool story, bro", "tl;dr" and "worst.......thread ever".
) and showed me her stab wound, oozing with pus.
