IBS/Chron's disease

Pro tip: If you decide not go for her, don't tell her of your intentions. Just make out you have something like herpes/HIV/an awful face-eating hereditary disease, and then she can be the one to stop things between you in their tracks, that way you don't appear shallow and save face. :cool: :D This could go the wrong way though if you share the same group of friends.
 
It varies massively from person to person. One of my best mates from uni has it and it barely affects him, he's probably the fittest (athletic, not in a gay way) person I know. Another mate from school has it and it was an awful lot more serious, he spent the best part of a year in hospital.
 
Sp00n said:
IBS is a pretty BS diagnosis (imo), both myself and my gf have been diagnosed with it and so has my mother.

The only time it will effect your relationship is when either of you are having a bad day as you won't want to be intimate, it doesn't really make that much difference day to day though.
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I think he means IBD, i.e. inflammatory bowel disease (Crohn's disease/ulcerative colitis) rather than IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), completely different things.

My best friend has ulcerative colitis. He became close to a girl (happens to be another of my best friends), and he was very anxious about telling her that he had UC, because of how she might think of him, about how it might affect their relationship and how the disease might progress. For example in his case, his thinking was about his risk of bowel cancer (which is increased significantly with UC), and would she want to be with someone who would more likely than not end up with cancer.

I think it's probably taken a lot for her to tell you this if she's into you, because I would imagine the same stuff would go through her head.

There may be times when she has a flare up, which can be very debilitating, very painful and you might feel like you want to do something to help, but there's nothing you can do except wait it out and feel useless. If it's bad enough she may need hospital admission for treatment while she gets over it. Worst case she may need surgery at some point, which has numerous possibilities.

Of course on the other hand it may barely affect her at all, in which case it would hardly affect your relationship at all.
 
Jonny69 said:
Depends how bad the Chrohn's is to be honest. She'll have to take tablets for it every day and will often get stomach cramps. Most of the time it won't affect her at all and is nothing to worry about.

From a purely selfish reproduction standpoint it's a hereditary disease so if you have kids with her then expect them to have it. It's also an auto immune disease and later on she may well develop type 1 diabetes and thyroid problems which, in this context, are also hereditary.
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Where did you hear this from? One of the first things I asked the specialist when diagnosed with Crohns was if it was Hereditary and was told there was no evidence to say yes or no.

No-one has ever mentioned the possibilty of type 1 diabetes or thyroid problems to me either.
 
Biohazard said:
Spoon, it is and it isn't (BS dianosis) but I know where you are coming from.

They will get so far, and once they have knocked everything else off the list that's when it'll be 'IBS'.

Reason they don't investigate further is the imbalance could be any of the thousands of different bacteria and protenes etc

You can get it narrowed down to a specific cause - but its unlikely to make a difference. Find your way around it playing with your diet etc.
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Yea I know what you're saying but it just feels like such a cop-out, My mother is actually on a trial for IBS treatment at the moment but she's not seeing a huge improvement unfortunately so it could be a bit of a false hope there, although there is still some time left on the trial so we shall see.
 
Ripper said:
I've recently met someone and we've been getting on well, and it's got to the point where i'm thinking of asking her out sometime, as we have a lot in common and she seems awesome. But anyway, last night she informed me that she has IBS/Chron's disease. I didn't know much about it so today I had a bit of a google but all the information is quite extreme. Does anyone have any experience of being with people with said illnesses? And how it might effect a typical relationship. Keep it serious please.
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This totally depends on the scale of the disease.

I don't want to say more on these forums but it can have a quite major effect on a typical relationship as far as starting a family goes. The drugs required to keep it under control are not very pregnancy friendly, again depends on how severe it is.

Some great points in this thread. Just want to add that most people will have some problems with something in their lives.

It's no reason to be worried, stay informed show compassion, and if you like her, go for it....
 
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I have a friend who has Chron's disease and he's possibly the happiest & brightest person I've ever met. He just has to take plenty of medication, can't really drink alcohol and has to use the loo a lot. I think that when he gets ill (cold/flu/whatever) then it affects him worse than it would to someone like myself.
 
Ripper, have a read of the relevant sheets on there; you might might them useful: http://www.nacc.org.uk/content/services/infosheets.asp

I have Crohn's myself and have also met a young lady recently whom I will have to let know of my conidition very soon, really once I am comfortable and trusting of her. She's into medicine so I am not sure how she'll take it, as she may have seen the worst of it at work. Whilst I'd be disappointed if she chose not to see me anymore as a result (either straightaway or further down the road), I really wouln't blame her as in some (other) cases, it can be difficult to deal with.

With my previous gf of 2.5years, I got really nervous about telling when we got together and it stressed me out in the runup. But in the end I just told her just to bear with me, that it was something I would be dealing with, and not her. As long as she understood that from time to time I might be tired, bloated, not feel up for doing much, I'd be happy enough. Over time, I never brought it up again and truly did not rely on her support, didn't tell her about my regular check ups, etc. When she broke up with me, she did say she thought I had got more distant, and I blamed it on my new medication as it gave me mood swings, made me put on some weight and feel rubbish. Thinking retrospectively, I probably should have been more open with her, and assuming how my new relationship goes, I hope to be more open.

With your new squeeze, I probably wouldn't bring it up as a major topic of discussion, but do ask the odd question over time and see how open she wants to be. She could brush it off or give you all the gory details. What you have to realise is that it's not going to go away and the best a patient can hope is long term remission from symptons.
 
Biohazard said:
Spoon, it is and it isn't (BS dianosis) but I know where you are coming from.

They will get so far, and once they have knocked everything else off the list that's when it'll be 'IBS'.

Reason they don't investigate further is the imbalance could be any of the thousands of different bacteria and protenes etc

You can get it narrowed down to a specific cause - but its unlikely to make a difference. Find your way around it playing with your diet etc.

OP - Wouldn't worry about it. She will just avoid certain foods, and probably hog the toilet on the odd occasion.

Other than that don't worry, it's not like constant brown rain or anything :p
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Actually it's the other way around in 99% of the cases. You give your symptoms and they'll call IBS right off the bat. Most GPs are not willing to run the battery of tests to properly diagnose :/
 
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