If football teams were women

Soldato
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IF FOOTBALL TEAMS WERE WOMEN


FULHAM -CHARLOTTE CHURCH: - Proof that money cant by you class. But
could look more attractive if the Welsh bloke was given the elbow

BIRMINGHAM -PAMELA ANDERSON: - Used to look good in the cups but now a declining force. Plus millions of people watched them get a good seeing to

WIGAN -DAVINA McCALL: - Poor attendances confirm they've been promoted above their ability

PORTSMOUTH -GIRLS ALOUD: - Only one real class act among the hastily
assembled line-up. You shouldn't like them but admit it; you've sneaked
the occasional admiring glance.

SUNDERLAND -KERRY KATONA: - Once the peoples favourite but now an
embarrassment. Fun while it lasted- now disappear back from whence you
came, please

SPURS -KEIRA KNIGHTLEY: - Undeniably easy on the eye with an attractive
English spine. And proof that two little ones up front needn't be a drawback.

EVERTON -DANNI MINOGUE: - The poor relation to the more glamorous
sibling. Can anyone remember when it was they were supposed to be any
good?

ARSENAL-JORDAN: - Were more likeable when they weren't packed out with expensive foreign implants.

NEWCASTLE -JODIE MARSH: - Impressive front two but embarrassing at the
back. Had a lot of work done but need more to compete @ higher level.

ASTON VILLA -DIDO: - Bland, boring & still trading off the one big hit
they had years ago.

LIVERPOOL -SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR: - Individually all the components look
great but stick them together & it just doesn't work.

CHELSEA -RACHAEL STEVENS: - You'd rather just watch them than listen to
all that painful whining.

BOLTON -CLARE BALDING: - You wouldn't. Not even if they were the last
team on Earth
 
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