iGod

Me:
Good Evening oh most holiest of holies
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do you still ?
Me:
Do I still what?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Hmmm.. why do I feel I'm missing out on half the conversation here?
Click to expand...

At which point he stopped talking to me :(

New conversation time:

Me:
Hi, how are you?
God:
Hello. What is your name? I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
Garp
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Yeah.. its from the film
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yes, my name Garp comes from the film "The world according to Garp"
God:
What makes you so sure? Your name Garp comes from the film The world according to Garp ? Is that correct English?
Me:
I'm so sure because I chose the name myself
God:
What makes you so certain? Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people: said chose the name him or herself.
Me:
Sure, you can tell other people that I chose my own name if you so desire
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
You do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
Sure :D
God:
:-) OK let's do it. Ugh.
Click to expand...

My God rejected me :(

Me:
pretty much, just like you probably don't care about me either
God:
It goes without saying. In many ways, yes. In other ways, no.
Click to expand...
 
Me:
oh my god its god!
God:
Pardon me? Have you told many people that your god its god?
Me:
no, do you want me to?
God:
Are you serious? No ANDY, maybe later.
Me:
ok
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
am i?
God:
I think you are.
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
ok
God:
Wow!
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no, but you are
God:
Are you serious? No I am not.
Me:
god, your talking crap
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
thats no excuse
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
ok
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
pardon you? why?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. I couldn't think of anything else to say.
 
Me:
sup nizzle
God:
Same old.
Me:
pimpin hoes?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
you wanna pimp me?
God:
OK, I will pimp you.
 
lol

Me:
i would like to know!
God:
Where would you look for the answer?
Me:
the bible
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
i use it to wipe my butt in hotels!
God:
I heard other people use it to wipe your butt in hotels too.

:/
 
God:
Hello there. What do you consider sexy?
Me:
anything with a penis to be honest
God:
I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
for you? i guess you'd like nuns...
God:
You would do that for me? Tell me what I would like about it.
Me:
if i dressed as a nun?
God:
Try it.
Me:
oh my god!
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
ahh, that makes 2 of us. bye
God:
Ah ha. I understand. Bye for now.



this is so fun, ha!
 
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Me:
AHOI
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
godfrey
God:
Hey godfrey.
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
for an all powerful being you're a bit forgetful arn't you?
God:
Your purpose is an all powerful being I am a bit forgetful arn t me.
Me:
what, your grasp of the english language is also atrocious, please use correct punctuation and do your best to make a coherent sentance.
God:
Are you asking about my grasp of the english language is also atrocious please use correct punctuation and do my best to make a coherent sentance ?
Me:
No i am pointing it out, your not very good at this talking thing are you.
God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people you are pointing it out my not very good at this talking thing.
Me:
hmmmm, i'm somehow not convinced you are a god.
God:
Alright then. Do you mean your name is somehow not convinced I am a god.
Me:
Are you a moron?
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
thats a little dissapointing for a god
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
what christians/jews/muslims think 250 is impressive for a god?
God:
christians jews muslims think 250 impressive for a god something.
Me:
What colour pants do you have on?
God:
Yellow.

If i take anything from this conversation it is that i should wear yellow pants.
 
Me:
Hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
No **** Dad, you been smoking the wacky baccie again?
God:
Once more? Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. Are you a student?
Me:
No, I'm a drop out and its all your fault Dad, you were never there for me!
God:
What is your profession? You are a drop out and its all my fault Dad me were never there for you? Does it pay well?
Me:
Seriously, what are you on? I thought those child safety caps protected you from the pills?
God:
I am on disk. All of them?
Me:
Right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Would be a first!
God:
I don't care.
Me:
oh yeah, thats right play the ignorant one again
God:
Once more? " I don't care."? oh yeah, thats right play the ignorant one again? Aw. That's cool. I wish I played an instrument. My parents could not afford the lessons.
Me:
God has parents?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm a muslim, care for a game of risk?
God:
You are a muslim care for a game of risk? How do you like your work?
Me:
It's ok I spose, how do you find your work? Must be hard managing the world and what not?
God:
OK with me too. I am glad to hear that you are hard managing the world and what not.
Me:
Wait im only Jesus, your young padawan, I'm not running the mill into you pop your cloggs remember? Oh BTW when is that?
God:
I'm waiting. Don't be so modest. Do you mean your name is Jesus my young padawan you are not running the mill into me pop my cloggs remember. I don't judge people. OK. " I'm waiting. Don't be so modest. Do you mean your name is Jesus my young padawan you are not running the mill into me pop my cloggs remember. "? When is it.
Me:
a what a woo?
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Click to expand...
 
lol this is what i just got from my first go

Me:
ello
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
is what ?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
who's ally ?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
AIML ?
God:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.


Me:
Thats abit to much detail to be giving me at 11:40pm
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
how is that a Sentiment ?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
What ?
 
Me: Hello

God: Hello friend. What is your name?

Me: Dave, and I ain't your friend, bub.

God: Who is my friend bub?

Me: er.. probably bub?

God: Um. You seem uncertain. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me: Nah

God: Are you serious?

Me: So whats the deal with omnipotence then?

God: Hey. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.

Me: a retarded brain

God: What is it?

Me: it is self evident

God: retarded brain is self evident? it is?

Me: duh...

God: Oh you knew it already.

Me: So whats the answer to THE QUESTION?

God: Ahem. It depends on how you phrase the question.

Me: you know, the one about the meaning of life

God: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.

Me: ah, you don't know

God: So you understand. Good. I know that I do not know.

Me: Im glad you can admit you're a dick

God: You make the world a happier place.

Me: And you make it worse

God:Yup.

Me: Thanks for being honest, big guy

God: My pleasure.

Me: You do realise that by answering you remove the burden of proof, denying faith and rendering yourself non-existent?

God: " My pleasure." by answering me remove the burden of proof denying faith and rendering myself non existent ? Makes sense to me.
 
Me:
God, you're a newb.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a newb? Let me put it this way, Bob: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
You're incapable of errors?
God:
Yes errors is one of my newer functions.
Click to expand...
 
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