I'm disgusted

[Freefaller]

I got a message from Roz this morning saying that she was groped (her bum was grabbed) by some drunk tramp asking whether or not he could pay her for some "action". Needless to say she was somewhat tormented by this.

Furthermore late last year she walked past a building site and a builder grabbed her boobs... I mean, the gall of it!? Do they really think they can get away with that sort of behaviour. I mean it's teetering on being sexual assault almost.

Needless to say this is making me seethe with anger, but also at the same time somewhat worried about it. I'm scared if she retaliates she'll get injured or goodness knows what else, but at the same time I think she shouldn't have to put up with this sort of crap. She dresses conservatively and doesn't show much flesh (well maybe a bit more when she's out with me anyway).

I feel so useless and helpless, and angry and shocked. I'm not happy about this at all. There's no point to this thread, but maybe any of the girls on forums who have had this experience I'd appreciate your input as to what they did...

 

[Freefaller]

She's fine, just a little shocked and wound up about it. She's got the name of the contracting firm (though this was last year) and I haven't chased up how far she's gone with reporting the builder. I'm just worried it's a case of "prove it luv" in which case there's little she can do.

re: peper spray for a start I don't know if that's legal? Secondly if it doesn't work I don't want her to get in a scuffle, or get injured or worse.

As I said she dresses conservatively, and the people that know her on the boards will concur this. And yes she is attractive.

 

[Freefaller]

she needs to go on some kind of self defence, self awareness course.

teach her to slap. very accurately, and also to shout "leave me the **** alone"

should make them back down.


touching IS assault. touching rude bits IS sexual assault. it can not be tolerated and claims of "it was only a laugh" or "i was drunk" cannot be used as an excuse in my mind.

I've suggested that and I think she may well do it now... but I don't want her to get involved in that sort of stuff either Argh it's frustrating.

I agree with your last statement too.

She's a confident person and isn't the shy retiring type, nor does she appear vulnerable. Maybe she should wear an ugly suit when she walks out and about.

It's amazing just how many men have zero respect for women when they're looking for the one thing, though.

Agreed. Makes my blood boil somewhat.

Wouldn't let it get to you. Guys have used the old pushing to the bar excuse to grab a piece of the girls I was with. Yeah it infuriates but what can you do, part of you wants to shout at em and smack em one. If your out for a leisurey quiet drink then it ruins the evening.

Yes this is probably quite true... and as you say "what can you do"? I mean you don't want anything to kick off, and niether do you want anyone to get hurt. But at the same time you want to make people understand that this behaviour is way out of line.

I'm going to chase this up and make sure I do something about it - of course only if she's really wanting me too.

 

[Freefaller]

I agree it is absolutely disgusting mate. I just don't understand how some people can consider this kind of behaviour acceptable.

For what it's worth though I would just like to point out that this isn't a phenomenon experienced purely by women. In fact I think the tables are turning. In recent years it seems to be the women who are doing more of the 'groping'. I've lost count of the number of times I have had my bum/groin grabbed in nightclubs. When I was single and going to nightclubs regularly it was a weekly occurance. Unfortunately us men can't complain without getting laughed at.

I'm not pretty enough to get groped However, I have heard of more men getting touched inappropriately - I think it shouldn't really be tolerated. I agree, i just don't understand the mentality of people who do that.

Maybe it's time to move away from London....

 

[Freefaller]

It'll take more than that to put her off going out and so on I can assure you. She's not easily scared that's for sure. Thanks for your helpful comments, I have taken them onboard. They have suprisingly calmed me down.

 

[Freefaller]

Sorry Freefaller but I think she was asking for it personally














FLAMEBAIT

*breathes in* *breathes out* *breathes in* *breathes out*

nope you're not going to get me started

As for dress sense, I have already stated she dresses quite conservatively certainly not provocatively, but this shouldn't be an excuse for people to grope people at any rate.

I'm just dissapointed with people who are so low that they need to get their kicks this way... Fortunately she's a tough cookie and this sort of thing won't prey on her mind too much. It's me being overly irritated and worried no doubt.

 

[Freefaller]

I'm sure a lot of people see this as "innocent fun"... There are some deranged people out there...

 

[Freefaller]

Thats disgracefull.

BTW come on you slackers, were onto 3 pages now, and no ones asked for pics yet.

TTIUWP.

Pics of what exactly?

Besides it's only 1 page

If it had been my missus I would have been straight down to the police and yelled until they promised to at least give him a telling off! And at least they would be alerted to his antics - what if he goes even further with the next girl?

Grrrr - my blood is boiling just thinking about it on your behalf

Thanks mate. Don't worry I'll be chasing it up. I hope she's got the details, if not I've given her a list of things to do, and if ever it happens (I hope it never ever does) again I shall throw everything I legally can at them. I think there's a chance I can find out who the contractors were as it is a building that was recently being renovated. I don't want her to get hurt by giving the idiot a kick, but at the same time he deserves it.

I've been given lots of suggestions and things to try via email and msn etc.. Thanks again for your support and kind words

 

[Freefaller]

The most sensible thing for her to do is to shout as stated to bring attention to the situation as has been mentioned. I agree that I don't really want her to get involved physically. However as of now I'm saying that it won't happen again dammit... If it happens to any of you, or to anyone you know, chase it up and make sure these pathetic excuses of men get some grief for it.

 

[Freefaller]

She's a tough cookie she told me she can't let that stuff bother her or she wouldn't be able to get on with things in her life, and would spend all her time worrying. I think I'm more affected than her! She's very independent and confident etc... but she's still a vulnerable person like we all are. I can't be with her 24/7, she has her own life to live too - it's times like this though where I wish I could have been there. Ah well at least she's ok and to me it seems as she's already put it behind her!

 

[Freefaller]

Yeah I know. I think I'm going to go to the gym - it'll do me some good.

Bloody protective instinct of mine...

 

[Freefaller]

Gone a bit off topic but a simple solution would be: Go out with her. The presence of a male will put off any guy doing such things im sure, unfortunatly they may still look but youd be banged up for life if you attacked each person who looked at her lol :S

Have you read the thread at all? She was on her way to work, and I was already at work. How can I be with her every single minute of ever day? That's just ridiculous. Besides even if we were living together people have their own lives, I'm not going to crowd her by being with her 24/7 (though it'd be fun) - she's an independent person and doesn't need me at her heel at every hour. As I said, when I'm out with her she's never hassled ever.

The thing about womens dress code ~ Personally I do find it a lot more revealing and so on, just for a minute...just a minute!!! I think well theyll do anything and I guess thats what runs through guys minds a lot when they see girls in a short skirt or what have you. Its sort of asking for it I guess but that dont make it ok, oh and girls can be just as bad to the guys

For a start this makes little grammatical sense, or any sense at all. Secondly, it's far too cold for her to be wearing stupid short skirts, and as I said again, had you read the thread she wasn't wearing anything revealing!

Davey, MB cheers for your kind words, it's all under control now. I was just fuming and it all just came out and felt like venting my frustration on the gentle ears of OcUK members, who as ever have been great at giving advice, and general soothing comments.

 

[Freefaller]

I read the thread, I said the off topic comment because people were talking about how they were groped in clubs or at work. It makes sense to me.

It makes more sense now that you've said it was about going out at night. You never mentioned that originally

 

[Freefaller]

Me and my GF were in town in a PUB, she went to the toilet and when she came back she told me some lad grabbed her boobs.

I walked over to him (and his group of mates) and confonted him, asked him what he thought he was doing. I was clearly pretty ****** off. He just sheepishly flatly denied all knowledge and looked pretty scared, i don't know why i'm not exactly hard.

I just left it and walked off, dont know if I was harsh enough? I don't really like fighting and at least made him feel small in front of his home boys.

Sometimes wish I just slapped him about a bit.

My GF was not too destressed by it though, I don't think she cared too much. She was just happy with me having words. I dunno.

I reckon I would have reacted much in the same way. I don't mind confrontation, but I'm not a violent person. (Playing rugby got it all out of me ). I think you handled it well, and that's the way Roz would have wanted me to have reacted. Good on you. It is horrid though hearing such stories and seeing your other half evidently tormented by it though.

Thanks BB - Sorry to hear you had an unpleasant experience - glad to hear you did something about it, not that it seemed to achieve much, but anyway!

 

[Freefaller]

Firstly, I'm glad that your lady is ok and not letting these things ruin her life.



It seems to me that it's an attitude thing ..... it displays a fair bit on here too, though not as often as it used to now the "would you hit it/do you think she's hot" threads have gone.

"we lads" are constantly making remarks that younger males pick up on; mostly, these remarks are in jest and macho bravado/pubescence etc but it fosters that ethos of women being "sexual objects".

I don't want to come over as a puritan with no sense of humour but what the OP is angry about does get treated lightly here with all manner of jokes etc ..... only recently there was a "punch her in the ovaries" comment followed by pml, roflmao etc.

Being proud of ones body and feeling good about displaying it does not equate to "I'm anybody's, please feel free to assault me" either.

Yes, I am old and yes, I do remember what it's for etc but the sort of behaviour and comments mentioned should not be tolerated or encouraged IMO.






/ Meldrew.









Now then, where's my concubine?

Mr Melrew...

I find it hard to disagree or disregard what you have said above, and if I'm honest find myself agreeing with most of it. Lads will be lads, however there is a difference to wolf whistling or making a few silly comments to actually going up to a person and being inappropriate. Hopefully people are intelligent enough to understand the difference between going over the line and friendly/naughty heckles on these forums, and I do believe that a lot of what is said on here is often tongue in cheek or merely words, rather than actual mimicing of behaviour.