Job versus family life - is it always one versus the other?

bakes0310

bakes0310

bakes0310

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Has anyone had to leave a job because it wouldn't match your personal life. I'm not really talking about cause you do insane hours or that you hated the job.

I really like my job but it's in construction and it's project based. My project ends in two years and then I could be anywhere in the country. I might be lucky get one close to home or I could be at opposite ends. If that's the case I'll be only home on the Friday night and back off to work Monday morning, so I would only see my partner at weekends. This would put a huge strain on our relationship and I know it wouldn't last.
I know it's two years away and anything could happen but it's on my mind. Has anyone been in a similar position where they have chosen the job over the family or the other way round?
 
Not sure this is what you mean. One place constantly asked me to work longer hours and the weekend, when we agreed at the interview I had a new baby and could only work normal hours. I stuck it for a few months, but even after I'd produced stats showing all the extra hours was having a negative effect on productivity across the team, it fell on deaf ears. I'd had enough. The MD asked for more hours, I said no. We agreed to part ways. I heard it imploded afterwards (not due to me), they survived but the MD got the boot.

I've also chosen security over something more interesting for family reasons. In hindsight probably a mistake. But at the same time it worked out better. Maybe.
 
Yup - I left a career of IT consulting for exactly this reason, before the pandemic. Took quite the pay-cut.

To be honest I always intended to leave consulting as I understand the divorse rate among consultants is the highest of any profession, probably because they're always away Mon-Thurs/Fri every week.

During the pandemic I went back into consulting as it is now remote. Harder work and longer hours that non-consulting roles, but there's a lot to be said for short commutes and being home at night.
 
Nothing like IT Contracting to cut emotional ties to work or a company.

Once I went contracting I never looked at work the same. Even though I no longer do it.
 
Depends on the contracting. Mine were all regular-ish hours, easy commute.

One had a massive commute which wasn't family friendly.
 
Yeah it depends, although overall I would say it is better for work-life balance compared to permanent employment:
  • Higher pay, so you can work less days/years for the same money. In 2021 for example I only worked 8 months of the year (as an IT contractor) but earned the most I ever have.
  • Less responsibility (not always, but it's kind of a by-product of the fact you earn a lot less as a perm, so you have to take a senior position to get closer to the contracting money). I found life as a contractor relatively stress free although I appreciate in different jobs this will vary.
  • Easy to chop and change away from a job that has a bad work-life balance, as you have a short notice period and people expect contractors to be chopping and changing, if as a perm you changed jobs every 6-12 months (without any career progression) it might start to raise a few eyebrows.
The one work-life balance caveat is you are more exposed to sickness as a contractor which might be an issue for some, e.g. you force yourself to work when sick otherwise you don't get paid, no paid time off for dependents, you won't get healthcare provision like you do as a perm etc, but there are ways to mitigate this by paying into private insurance schemes if it bothers you.
 
I'm currently looking for a new job as I'm expecting to be made redundant soon. One of the jobs was Monday to Friday and also on call 2 out of every 3 weekends. I nearly laughed at the agent.

I will take family life nowadays thank you, even if it's a pay cut.
 
Really depends on your situation, and what your home life is. I have done some contracts where I've been away from home Mon->Friday, but my partner at the time was a nurse working odd shift patterns anyway so didn't have a huge impact on home life.

I wouldn't have done it long term though, six month contract was enough.

I'd find it hard to give up working from home now, as much as I miss an office sometimes.
 
malachi said:
So IT Contracting, good or bad for work life balance?
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Bad because no job security and you don't know where your next contact will be. If you have children at school then difficult to plan drop off and pick up times if your commute changes.
Good because you have less stress at work and hopefully work on interesting projects, so you come home in a better mood.
 
OspreyO said:
Nothing like IT Contracting to cut emotional ties to work or a company.

Once I went contracting I never looked at work the same. Even though I no longer do it.
Click to expand...

Same here, contracting changed the way I view work. I only contracted for 5 years, and been permanent for the last 7.

In my current permanent role I work various customer locations for a few months at a time, so feels like contracting without the hassle of managing a LTD company and dealing with recruiters.
 
Mujja said:
Bad because no job security and you don't know where your next contact will be. If you have children at school then difficult to plan drop off and pick up times if your commute changes.
Good because you have less stress at work and hopefully work on interesting projects, so you come home in a better mood.
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The job security thing is a bit of a myth. A permanent job is only as secure as your notice period, most contract and perm roles I've had have been one month notice so little different in reality.

I wouldn't say contracting means youre more or less likely to work on interesting projects either!
 
mid_gen said:
The job security thing is a bit of a myth. A permanent job is only as secure as your notice period, most contract and perm roles I've had have been one month notice so little different in reality.

I wouldn't say contracting means youre more or less likely to work on interesting projects either!
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Exactly this. Security in a permanent role is a myth. You are handing over your work destiny to someone else. At least with contract work you have a degree of control. I am a permie but I know many people who have contracted in the past. None of them willingly went back to permie. They only did so because of IR35 affecting the availability of contracts in our industry. They all preferred to actually contract.
 
I've definitely compromised career progression to ensure a healthy work life balance, which I'm completely fine with and would do again.

I will also tell my superiors that I'm not working until midnight to hit that unreasonable deadline arising from other people's poor planning, because I have personal commitments that I'm not prepared to compromise.

I'm sure I'll pay for that one day somehow, but whilst I'm still valuable to them I'm safe.

My kids are only young once and I will never be the dad they hardly ever see because I'm away in the week and working weekends.
 
I say no to a lot more now. I used to think I should say yes to everything because if I didn't it would look bad on me. The more confident you get in what you do, I found it much easier to say no. I also am much quicker at getting a lot of stuff done than a lot of people at work, so I know in reality something might take me, say 1 day to do. I'll say 2 weeks. Two reasons for it; other things always do come in, meetings etc. so your time is spread out, plus, it buys me thinking time. I spend way more time not "actively working" on things these days, but I feel it's part of my process to work stuff out. Then doing the doing is actually the easier part.

Which means it looks like to many I don't do much, but I just am efficient and use my time well, prioritize and set boundaries at work. I do think contracting helped me with this, but with contracting I worked so many hours to max out pay and really it's **** that way. I'm confident with the value I provide, in ways they can't, so you know. **** it.
 
Participant said:
I will also tell my superiors that I'm not working until midnight to hit that unreasonable deadline arising from other people's poor planning, because I have personal commitments that I'm not prepared to compromise.

I'm sure I'll pay for that one day somehow, but whilst I'm still valuable to them I'm safe.

My kids are only young once and I will never be the dad they hardly ever see because I'm away in the week and working weekends.
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Exactly the same here. I've made it clear that now I have a family, I will not stand for unreasonable workloads out of my general working hours, especially when it's arisen due to somebody else's poor planning/expectations.

There are of course some things I will do outside of working hours, but only with a decent amount of notice and planning. With the exception of course in emergencies, which is rare.

I'm still very valuable to them, but like you, I may pay for it in the long run, but I won't regret it.
 
Yup, I do bare minimum to be fair.

What I do is good quality, and I really do know what I'm doing I'm good at my job, but I'd literally never work above and beyond.

I work office hours 9-5:30 WFH, and that's it.

At 5:31pm I'm logged off.

They got me to do overtime once, when I worked till 11:30pm on Friday, and I got paid £1000 for the 6 extra hours.

I also really don't like people that do the opposite, work extra hours for nothing etc, if you do they will start expecting it, and talk about devaluing yourself.......

That being said, if I were say a paramedic or some similar job, I might have a different attitude.
 
Mujja said:
Bad because no job security and you don't know where your next contact will be. If you have children at school then difficult to plan drop off and pick up times if your commute changes.
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I know what you mean but you can generally make it work, I took my son out of breakfast club because I was walking him to school most days, it was a lingering doubt about what would happen if I switched jobs and had to be back commuting again but you can normally find a way to make it work.

Even perm roles come with the spectre of losing your job or being asked to relocate. The perm employer I had before I did a contract had announced they were moving hundreds of jobs 200+ miles north.

Overall a perm position is likely to give more stability but I do think with the rise in remote working that the 'randomness' is reduced somewhat, i.e. 3+ years ago you had a no clue where your next contract might be based, now there's a good chance you might work remotely a lot of the time.
 
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