Join The Navy. See The World. Twang My Breeches.

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Fellow Citizens, I greet you.

We live in dangerous times. Our glorious Empire stands alone as a shining beacon in an ever more dangerous and uncivilised world and Her Majesty's Royal Navy is there to sail, to protect, to loot and to pillage.

We cannot do this without the great British fighting man, the man who will sacrifice his life for tuppence h'apenny, the man whose teeth have fallen out through scurvy, the man who drinks himself into oblivion on the finest, cheapest rum and the man whose groin doth itch from the ravages of many a visit to the burlesque houses that will forever festoon our great nation.

I need you. Our country is at war with the French and the Spanish and their insatiable thirst for imperial glory to rival our own.

I cannot and will not let that happen and together my brothers we can defeat this tyranny. I plan to send my press gangs to local hostelrys' and beat good men into joining our mighty Navy. Could it be you ?

Benefits include ......

A H'apenneth per month.
As much Ye Olde Netto Rum as you can drink.
Multiple beatings and floggings if you so much as fart out of line.
A multitude of scabs from the worlds most exotic and rank wenches.
Tight pants.

Join me. Join the Navy. Join the Empire.

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Admiral Sir Marmaduke Fotheringsmythe Huddy, RN



The Royal Navy does not recommend you stick your head through a porthole in the officers quarters
 
Man of Honour
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Joined
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Posts
12,679
Location
Tyneside
iv-tecman said:
Avast! Shiver me timbers, Buccaneers. There be pirates me hearties on this voyage. Splice the Mainbrace Corsair, and pillage all ye can. Fly the Jolly Roger and watch for Jack Ketch for plundering ya Pieces of Eight

Not be before ye make ye Walk the plank will I for swagging me Grog and pillaging me Booty will I ya Scallywag…

Silence you ill mannered toe-rag.

You insult the Queen and the Admiral with your uneducated piffling piracy poppycock.

Now bend over.
 
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