Joke thread!

qwerty

qwerty

qwerty

Associate
Joined
27 Jul 2005
Posts
2,351
A teacher says to a pupil "You, give me two pronouns!"
"Who, me?"
"Very good."

------------------

-Waiter, waiter, I think my chicken is raw!
-Why do you think that?
-It's eating my bread!

------------------

-Could I borrow your shampoo?
-Don't you have your own?
-Yes, but it says it's for dry hair. My hair is wet!

------------------

A man, groaning and clutching his stomach, bumps into his friend while walking down the street.
"What's wrong?"
"I ate a dozen oysters."
"And they didn't tell you that many would make you sick when they opened them for you?"
"WHAT!!!!???!?!?! You're supposed to open them!!!!?!?!?!?!!"

-----------------

A young woman is talking about her new boyfriend.
"You know, it's the little things that I like about him."
"Little things, like what?"
"His little mansion, his little jet, his little yacht..."

-----------------

-I've got some good news and some bad news.
-Oy, I've had a bad day, just tell me the good news.
-Well, you know that car you lent me? The airbags work...

-----------------

-I'm depressed, I've lost my dog.
-Why not put an ad in the newspaper?
-What? Are you mad? He doesn't know how to read!
 
Hehe lol quite good.

Here's a tip to make it better, always include this:

What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the Batmobile?

Get in the Batmobile Robin.

LOL (that's about the 6th time I've posted it this week)
 
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom:

"Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."

Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
"Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
Click to expand...
 
G-MAN2004 said:
Hehe lol quite good.

Here's a tip to make it better, always include this:

What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the Batmobile?

Get in the Batmobile Robin.

LOL (that's about the 6th time I've posted it this week)
Click to expand...

Makes me smile though! Which is good! :D
 
G-MAN2004 said:
What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the Batmobile?

Get in the Batmobile Robin.

LOL (that's about the 6th time I've posted it this week)
Click to expand...

I had noticed. :rolleyes: ;)

Why not just put it in your sig and be done with it? :)
 
G-MAN2004 said:
What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the Batmobile?

Get in the Batmobile Robin.
Click to expand...

A Classic Joke :D

And along the same lines

What the difference between a frog?

One of its legs are both the same!
 
Whats the difference between a chav and a coconut ??

One is thick and hairy, the other is just a coconut . . .

Ok I'll get me coat.
 
El's attempt.

A bear and a rabbit taking a dump in the woods when the following conversation took place.

Bear - Excuse me, do you have **** sticking to your fur when you answer the call of nature?

Rabbit - Erm...No :confused:

The Bear then calmly grabbed the rabbit and wipped his backside with it!


:p
 
lol @ ElRazur's joke


--

A man takes his little girl out into the town because her mother doesn't want them in the way whilst she spring cleans. Seeing as the girl is being good they go into the bakery and her father buys her whatever she wants, a nice big cake.
The then go to the barbers to get the father's hair cut, now the little girl has never seen her father's hair being cut before so she stands really close watching and eating her cake.
The barber stops cutting the hair, looks at her and says "Little girl you'll get hair on your muffin.".
The girl then calmly looks up up and him and says "I know, and I'll get **** and a period too.".



Well it made me chuckle....can't think why but the missus didn't find it funny. :p

InvG
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom