I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
-----------------------------------------------------
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
-----------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
-----------------------------------------------------
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
------------------------------------------------------
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
------------------------------------------------------
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
------------------------------------------------------
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
------------------------------------------------------
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
-----------------------------------------------------
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
-------------------------------------------------------
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
-------------------------------------------------------
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
--------------------------------------------------------
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
--------------------------------------------------------
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U .C.L.A.
--------------------------------------------------------
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
--------------------------------------------------------
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky Ground
-------------------------------------------------------
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
-----------------------------------------------------------
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A will is a dead giveaway.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
------ -------------------------------------------------------
A backward poet writes inverse.
-------------------------------------------------------------
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
----------------------------------------------------------
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
--------------------------------------------------------------
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
-------------------------------------------------------------
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A- flat miner.
---------------------------------------------------------------
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
---------------------------------------------------------------
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
----------------------------------------------------------------
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
----------------------------------------------------------------
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A calendar's days are numbered.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
-------------------------------------------------------------------
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Well, a few made me giggle and if you havent seen them before
hope they made your Thursday a little better
<ColiN>
-----------------------------------------------------
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
-----------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
-----------------------------------------------------
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
------------------------------------------------------
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
------------------------------------------------------
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
------------------------------------------------------
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
------------------------------------------------------
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
-----------------------------------------------------
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
-------------------------------------------------------
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
-------------------------------------------------------
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
--------------------------------------------------------
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
--------------------------------------------------------
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U .C.L.A.
--------------------------------------------------------
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
--------------------------------------------------------
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky Ground
-------------------------------------------------------
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
-----------------------------------------------------------
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A will is a dead giveaway.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
------ -------------------------------------------------------
A backward poet writes inverse.
-------------------------------------------------------------
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
----------------------------------------------------------
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
--------------------------------------------------------------
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
-------------------------------------------------------------
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A- flat miner.
---------------------------------------------------------------
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
---------------------------------------------------------------
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
----------------------------------------------------------------
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
----------------------------------------------------------------
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A calendar's days are numbered.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
-------------------------------------------------------------------
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Well, a few made me giggle and if you havent seen them before
hope they made your Thursday a little better<ColiN>
