kids do/say the daftest things

[smogsy]

So my step daughter has come up with some down right hilarious things which I thought I would share here.
Thought it would be funny for others to share too, bring some fun into the new year.

Age: 9

Just a few:

Me: What film you watching?
Step Daughter: Honey, I stroked the kids

Further to this told the wife.
Her response, is that the new documentary on Prince Andrew?

Wife was baking cakes and asked my stepdaughter to fill the spoon with butter,
Wife turned around spoon empty.
Wife said to child I asked you to fill the spoon.
Child replied: I did.
Wife said: no you didn't its empty
Child said: yes I did & felt the spoon, (rubbing it like a genie & feeling it)

Took my stepdaughter to Thai restaurant, she picked a Duck Meal covered in Hoisin Sauce
She took a bite, her face went funny & she replied "its a bit pingy in your face"

Now has become a staple for all weird tastes in our households

 

[smogsy]

Was at a softplay with my 6 year old son a couple of years ago (he's 9 now). I was sat watching him run around and he stopped abruptly to read a safety sign on the wall of the area near the big slides. He then trotted back across to me, took his glasses off and put them on the table saying 'Daddy, I am not supposed to wear these in there as it says 'No glasses permitted within the play area'.

Underneath that line it stated 'Plastic cups and bottles only'.

legend

 

[smogsy]

Today lobbing sweets at the childs head.

I walk out the room. Child goes I give you permission to shoot it in my mouth...

What does one say to a child saying such things. I kept quiet....

 

[smogsy]

Nice additions, @theone8181 wife cracked up about the car

 

[smogsy]

Nice

Anymore from others

 

[smogsy]

^ Haha, remind me of the time

My mother in law went to the toilet, & return to the lounge, Step daughter then went to the toilet & threw up over the bathroom floor, Mother in law went to see the noise was about & could not stop laughing & my wife had to clear it up.

The the other time

My Mother in law farted & my Step daughter again then threw up. (to be honest never smelt a smell like it they are seriously deadly...

 

[smogsy]

My daughter came out with a classic earlier in summer, her (6) and my eldest (8) and my niece (5) were fighting and squabbling, whilst i was on a teams meeting. I lost the plot with all 3 of them and went postal, i told all 3 of them to move to different corners of the room, and I said it needs be 2m distancing just like Boris said. My 6 year looks up at me and blurts out.............but Boris said its 1m plus now, I didnt know whether to laugh or cry

I could write a book on some of eclectic convo's ive had with my kids.

That's a classic.
My step daughter saw Boris on the box and shouted "go back to primary school then be with people with the same iq"

 

[smogsy]

My wife is a teacher, she been hearing al sorts of reasons they are not submitting work via Google classroom.

The best is we only have an Xbox one

My wife reply destroyed their souls today "Xbox now fully supports Google classroom via Microsoft edge. Look forward to seeing your submission for all your work tomorrow

 

[smogsy]

built a pc with the child yesterday for the birthday & we went through the process of installing Linux (Mint) Wifi did not work. So i showed her how to build Drivers in Linux. she likes the customization & speed of mint thus far!
Kid today:
Runs into the living room. My PC Smells Minty Fresh!

 

[smogsy]

Had the best one tonight...

Stepdaughter loves watching top gear and grand tour specials. She said can we watch the boat special. I scroll to an episode and click play on the wrong one.

She screams no I wanted the SEAMAN. We both hid our faces and laughed.

 

[smogsy]

My step daughter said i really need your help with somthing, walked in her room shes struggling to put box on top of her wardrobe.so took the box & went to put it on the wardrobe when she said: 'i can help you get it up too'