Lady advice...

[agnes]

I'm going to keep this as short as possible.

I'm seeing a girl at the moment, we went to Copenhagen together a couple of weeks back, we haven't had time to see each other since but had planned to see each other tonight and spend Saturday and Sunday morning together this weekend.

She tells me she was made redundant yesterday, 6 weeks warning. She works at the place I used to work, it's how we met.

Anyway, with my contract I can shift my hours around willy nilly, so, I instantly said I will see her asap and started to look at moving my hours around. I worked out doing a 11 hour shift today meant I could join her and her team for drinks and give her a bit of support.

I arrive at 1630 and she had been drinking for 2.5 hours. Fair enough, it's not nice news. She was an absolute mess, just about able to talk.

I thought nothing of it and said hello to everyone and joined in drinking with them and gave her a little support and generally chilled with her.

It was very awkward as her team are all the sales, macho men type and then I'm this scrawny geek seeing this girl. No doubt it will be the talk of the day in my old place of work tomorrow. I don't care, I'm just saying it was a little awkward.

What made it worse as each time I tried to join in the conversation, which is cool as I know these guys very well, supporting them IT wise for a few years. Each time I went to talk, she would butt in and insult me, saying I don't know what I'm talking about. Or generally just being a total ****. All the guys saw this and just gave me that look of "shrug it off, she is drunk". So I sat mostly in silence.

My nephew is down from my sisters for the week until Sunday/Monday. I will see him maybe 2 more times this year before I leave the UK to go traveling. So I really want to spend time with him as he is coming up to 3 and the memories I make now will hopefully be the ones he remembers later, like the zoo or what ever.

It clocks over to 7pm and I mention I want to walk home and see him before he goes to bed, as I'm working late, I won't see him tonight and that means I only get 2 evenings and a weekend with my best little man.

Before I mentioned this, she was already tearing up to her boss about the whole job thing. And the moment I mentioned me going to see my nephew, well... I'm instantly in the wrong. I say goodbye to everyone and after 15 minutes of awkwardness I just leave as she is being a **** and well she is drunk. So I just leave.

I get some angry texts on how I'm being selfish and making this all about me and how I made her cry in front of her work friends... I don't respond as she is drunk and I leave it till this morning. I get a text from her basically saying how rude it was, how I was out of line leaving and such. And how I'm using my nephew as an excuse to get out of it.

I'm fuming really, I don't want to respond too much, as it will just make me angry but I need to vent hence this post really.

It's not the first time she has pulled stuff like this, I will twist my arms behind my back to make time and move plans around so we can see each other. As we are both busy. But she makes no effort at all.

I have sent her a text saying I'm now busy on Saturday as I want to spend it with Oliver and she has hit the roof as I had planned on going with her to her dads and spending the day there.

Grrrrrr ladies!

 

[agnes]

I guess she wanted your whole attention and sympathy and as soon as you mentioned about seeing your nephew, the attention was off her and she spit her dummy out.

Go see your nephew and let her have her temper tantrums on her own and get rid of her asap!!

This is exactly the best way to describe it every time I have a plan that pulls my attention away from her!

She is early 20's. I explained to her what I have done, why I'm mad and that I now have little time to see my best bud, and her only response was "You know how to cut a girl up don't you? x"...

Wut? Jesus, in her eyes, it's all intentional just to hurt her lol.

Not worth my time now, I'm just so angry someone can be that selfish!!! I'm now stuck working so bloody long and late today. I just want to play cars on the car mat with my favorite nephew

 

[agnes]

Is this part of her overall personality or a one off blip?, if the former I'd ditch - if the latter I'd have strong words & give them the benefit of the doubt.

Pretty much overall.

I told her not to contact me for a bit as I'm angry at the situation and I might say things I don't mean.

I'm going to text her tonight and cut it off. I got 5 months left, we both knew it was a romance that would end with me waving bye at the airport onto an epic adventure.

 

[agnes]

A wise move.

It seems you know it's part of who she is & not just a one off (which would be worth being patient for).

Is she much younger than you?, (she sounds very immature & insecure) - I've been in relationships with women like that & they simply ruin every single social encounter with that kind of self-absorbed narcissism & insecurity/attention seeking.

On he plus side, it sounds like you have an epic trip to look forward to.

Yea, oh well. 5 months!

I just needed to rant more than anything this morning. But it's clear she is not worth my time.

She is like 2 years younger than me...

Groen... No word of a lie, she is like that. Always little remarks to have the 'upper hand' and attention in group situations. And when drunk, nightmare, I genuinely will avoid going out if I know she will be drinking or out in the group of people. Even worse, I have been invited to a leaving party of an old colleague this Friday, she will be there. Should be interesting. I just don't like public conflict and don't see the point in rising to it. Hate when ladies do that, try to create a scene just to get attention.

Grinds my gears haha.

 

[agnes]

Boom, just cut it off, said that I have 5 months and family trumps everything every time. And the fact I will only see my nephew now, at my sisters for her birthday and maybe at Christmas (I leave the UK 30th December). I can't justify the time spent with her instead of him.

So I'm taking him to London Zoo instead on Saturday.

Got a message "I know you're angry and I am too, but I don't want this to be over"...

How can she be angry at me? What on earth have I done to make her angry? Never anything she does eh?

It's almost funny now.

 

[agnes]

Agnes,

You are going travelling shortly I believe and are asking for women advice, finish this little ordeal on that basis.
You also posted about money troubles in the run up to going travelling, yet are going on 3 trips prior to?
With the above point, you purchased a tablet?

You are a bit defeatist hombre

Please read my threads properly. 'Hombre'.

Thanks

 

[agnes]

only read op...

so you made plans to see her saturday, changed your hours so you could see her leaving do when she wanted to get smashed, complained about her being smashed (it's her leaving do, she'll leave how she wants) and then left early and now cancelled saturday because the shifts you changed have meant you can only see a 3 year old (who really won't care about 1 day you spend with him) on a saturday...

tbh I think she might have a point

Lol! I don't think you read it at all

 

[agnes]

A little crazy is fine, and quite exciting, but knifey crazy, as she sounds, isn't.

Best advice I can give is dump her, have your travels then get yourself a bloody bike again and come on a meet next year (if you're back from your travels).

I don't think I will be back in the UK for a fair few years!