Not sure why I want to post something about this now (and I am still not sure I should - this is a computer forum after all), but I guess I want everyone to focus on what is important in life, and ignore all the endless trivial stuff that we all get wound up about. It is easy to lose sight of things. I hope in reading this others may give their wives, kids, parents a hug today.
This is also the first time I have addressed this outside the family, as a dad and husband you have to be strong, so maybe this is me releasing a bit, perhaps telling strangers is strangely easier as an outlet than those who I know.
Last October 13th my daughters boyfriend of 3 years (and friend of 10) died. He was 18.
They had finished school together in June last year and despite going to universities in different countries, genuinely planned to make it work I think. She started in the UK doing Law, he started in Singapore studying a joint honours degree in Mathematics and Computer Science.
He had stayed with us for 8 weeks over the summer after they finished school, and was part of our family. He was coming to stay with us over Xmas.
3 weeks after they started university, my daughter hadn't heard from him for 18 hours (apparently never more than 2) and couldn't get hold of him. She called a mutual friend in Singapore, who told her that night he had 'fallen' off a balcony on the 5th floor of the Halls of Residence and died, about 15 minutes after the impact, he was there, and held him. It was not suicide.
I wont go into more details, it is the subject of an ongoing Singaporean Police investigation, and some information can be searched, but is largely inaccurate on the basis of the information available to us.
The shock, trauma for my daughter and his parents in particular has been beyond anything I could ever have imagined experiencing in my life. His parents are Korean, and it has destroyed them, as you might imagine. My daughter plans, hopes to travel to Korea this summer to visit his grave and has ongoing therapy for the event, whilst still doing brilliantly at university - I am more proud of her now, (and how she has coped) more than I can ever express.
I have no real point in posting this, I just felt today I wanted too, the world and society seems to be so wound up with life, and yet most things (not all) are just not important, or worth the stress.
Loving those you have now, and will have in the future is important. You never know what will happen, but to pass at 18, when your life is just opening up to you, there cannot be much worse. Never assume, and savour every moment you have with those who matter to you.
This is also the first time I have addressed this outside the family, as a dad and husband you have to be strong, so maybe this is me releasing a bit, perhaps telling strangers is strangely easier as an outlet than those who I know.
Last October 13th my daughters boyfriend of 3 years (and friend of 10) died. He was 18.
They had finished school together in June last year and despite going to universities in different countries, genuinely planned to make it work I think. She started in the UK doing Law, he started in Singapore studying a joint honours degree in Mathematics and Computer Science.
He had stayed with us for 8 weeks over the summer after they finished school, and was part of our family. He was coming to stay with us over Xmas.
3 weeks after they started university, my daughter hadn't heard from him for 18 hours (apparently never more than 2) and couldn't get hold of him. She called a mutual friend in Singapore, who told her that night he had 'fallen' off a balcony on the 5th floor of the Halls of Residence and died, about 15 minutes after the impact, he was there, and held him. It was not suicide.
I wont go into more details, it is the subject of an ongoing Singaporean Police investigation, and some information can be searched, but is largely inaccurate on the basis of the information available to us.
The shock, trauma for my daughter and his parents in particular has been beyond anything I could ever have imagined experiencing in my life. His parents are Korean, and it has destroyed them, as you might imagine. My daughter plans, hopes to travel to Korea this summer to visit his grave and has ongoing therapy for the event, whilst still doing brilliantly at university - I am more proud of her now, (and how she has coped) more than I can ever express.
I have no real point in posting this, I just felt today I wanted too, the world and society seems to be so wound up with life, and yet most things (not all) are just not important, or worth the stress.
Loving those you have now, and will have in the future is important. You never know what will happen, but to pass at 18, when your life is just opening up to you, there cannot be much worse. Never assume, and savour every moment you have with those who matter to you.
