Longterm friend in dire need of help, what to do?

WoZZeR

WoZZeR

WoZZeR

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Northampton
My partner and I have known a friend for over 25 years, this friend is now 76 and failing health.

He has always been extremely untidy and a bit of a hoarder.

He was admitted to hospital a couple of years ago after a fall at home and whilst he was in hospital we in conjunction with other friends of his contacted Social Services regarding the filth and squalor of his home.

They were extremely concerned and arranged a cleaning specialist to sort the place out. Unfortunately our elderly chum managed to block this by essentially paying off the cleaning company.

Fast forward to now, his health is worse, the filth and squalor is astonishing, it is impossible to navigate the house safely. (Can supply photographs from 2 years ago to genuine respondents)

It is impossible to help him, I've tried going round to tidy up but to no avail.

We are unable to get any help as he needs to be referred by his GP.

Obviously we want our friend to be happy so don't want to cause any stress but leaving him to rot in a stinking cesspit of grime and filth preys on our mind.

What do we do OCUK :confused:
 
Pawnless Endgame said:
What is he hoarding that is causing the house to be filthy?
Click to expand...

He has NEVER cleaned his house. The (originally cream) Carpet is black and sticky.
We've found opened (and moldy) soup cans behind his armchair.
He can't have a bath 'cause it's full of junk (he goes to a Gym once a week to have a shower).
His kitchen is filthy (he has been in the same house for about twenty years and has never cleaned any of the kitchen work services).
The fridge/freezer door can not be closed because of ice build-up.
We found a can of fruit in one of the cupboards that was some ten years past the use-by date, the 15 year old Tesco Value Spaghetti was a great find!
The Ivy outside his house is growing up the lounge wall on the inside. You have to walk sideways around the old newspapers, cds, bottles and junk to get anywhere.
 
Thanks for the thoughts chaps.

I broadly agree with the majority here, let him live in peace (and mess) if that is the way he wishes to be.

His house is his own so he is obviously free to do with it what he wants and as far as I know the mice don't stray elsewhere.

When he had his fall a couple of years ago he was lying on the floor for 10 to 12 hours or so and it is purely coincidence that he was discovered, a friend was collecting him to go shopping. He couldn't get up due to being surrounded by piles of leaflets, magazines and general rubbish. Luckily we have a key and the friend phoned us to investigate.

I do appreciate by interfering a couple of years ago we did the wrong thing which is why I posed the questions here.
 
Just a little update:

Went round to my friends this morning on a planned visit to help him tidy up a bit and found him lying on the floor again, he had slipped on all the magazines and newspapers and had spent the entire night stuck on the cold filthy floor.

He was stuck behind the living room door so I had to move a huge pile of stuff to clear a way through to get into the living room and get him back on his feet.

I spent a couple of hours with him, cleared the floor a fair bit, sorting out the rubbish, empty fast food containers, magazines he wanted to keep and those for the bin. The floor was pretty grim, dropped food along with curious and unpleasant looking stains and lumps.

Over the last month or so he has written a plan of action for the next few months involving sorting out his affairs and tidying his house a little, this wasn't a result of our pestering him, he did this by himself.

His mobility has declined very quickly, I think he sleeps in the living room chair, he clearly can't always make it upstairs in time when a No 2 calls although for widdles he uses the back yard.

Hopefully he will continue his progress with the house tidying but I will try and encourage him to get some emergency device to alert us if he is in a bit of a bother.
 
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