Looking for advice...

Shep_Cobain said:
I’m really struggling with the idea of paying, mainly because he knew from the start that I was planning to do the work with my dad. He told me to cancel that plan and insisted on helping me himself instead.

He’s now saying he only offered because my dad had been unwell (which was actually several months earlier), and that he suggested I labour for him because it would be cheaper for me. Initially, he claimed I had said this to him, but when I challenged back and said it never happened, he changed his version and said he had said it to me. A fabricated explanation after the fact.

He’s also argued that I was happy to pay other people for work, but those situations were completely different:

A) I didn’t work alongside them, and
B) they weren’t close friends.
C) they were qualified tradesmen I had been recommended.

I did point out that, in another situation, a friend-of-a-friend came round after work, sourced materials through his own job, and completed the work before I even got home. When I offered to pay him, he refused and said he was just helping a mate. I later gave him two cases of beer as a thank-you, which he wasn’t expecting but appreciated.
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Even if was a made a simple "IOU £xxx" amount is acceptable non legal "mates" contract"

Just sounds like he wants to make a bit of money after the fact . Oh a mate helped me put up a metal shed, and a lean to, he didn't ask for any money I'm taking him to tobeys. That was 2.5 days of work, initial couple of hours for shed base, then I did the removal of clingfilm from the metal panels, build the metal surround base, and did doors x3 and fitted panels together (but left in the house so aid in installation) then he came back few days later for the shed build then couple of weeks after that helped with the lean to.

Didn't come back now saying "you owe X amount for three days of work"
 
Shep_Cobain said:
His wife works for the government in a position which requires no bad press and they have a young daughter. Hes all mouth from what ive seen over the years.
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If you’re confident he doesn’t have a screw loose then move on and don’t pay, legally he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Weigh up whether or not the 120 is worth the hassle of him harassing you over the coming weeks.
 
shifty_uk said:
If you’re confident he doesn’t have a screw loose then move on and don’t pay, legally he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Weigh up whether or not the 120 is worth the hassle of him harassing you over the coming weeks.
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How do you know the £120 payment isn't acceptable of payment to a larger amount?

"The price agreed was £5000, and the £120 you paid me (which I now have proof of) is the first initial down payment"
 
shifty_uk said:
If you’re confident he doesn’t have a screw loose then move on and don’t pay, legally he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Weigh up whether or not the 120 is worth the hassle of him harassing you over the coming weeks.
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His last message basically said:

"You say you're a mate, but you dont care and you're acting like its £10k. But, you're not stressed about it, you don't give a ****. However, you're always right and its always everyone else."
 
Sounds like he's in debt for something. No one would be whining if they were rolling in it or comfortable.

Some jobs you need two people so don't know why he's moaning (as next time he needs help with a 5m length 4x2" of wood or whatever) you'd help out.
 
Shep_Cobain said:
His last message basically said:

"You say you're a mate, but you dont care and you're acting like its £10k. But, you're not stressed about it, you don't give a ****. However, you're always right and its always everyone else."
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Did you remind him of the spa and hotel ?
I don't know maybe give him £50 and say you owe him £70 from the spa and **** off
 
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Shep_Cobain said:
His last message basically said:

"You say you're a mate, but you dont care and you're acting like its £10k. But, you're not stressed about it, you don't give a ****. However, you're always right and its always everyone else."
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He needs £££. Personally, I'd pay the £120 and then disown him. Problem solved. That's a damn fair price to remove a future leech from your life.
 
Him and his wife sound unreliable at best and scroungers at worst, I'd cut contact with both of them and move on.

There's no legal recourse, and I certainly wouldn't be willing to reward his bad behaviour as sods law you're not the only person he'll try to pull this sort of thing with.

The only other avenue I could see with what you've described is that he might have some sort of financial issue his wife isn't privy too, might explain where the spa day money went and lack of payment for the theatre tickets assuming she put him in charge of payments.
 
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BUDFORCE said:
You know what, for an easy life I'd probably just pay the £120, maybe call it £100 (make up yourskint or whatever) and then cut all contact and move on with your life.

Seems quite a cheap price to fund out that someone is actually a complete ****.
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100% word for word, this would have been my reply.

I would pay and cut contact immediately.
 
uscool said:
Did you remind him of the spa and hotel ?
I don't know maybe give him £50 and say you owe him £70 from the spa and **** off
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What exactly does reminding him of these past transgressions accomplish exactly? Are you expecting him to bicker back and forth like kids in a playground?

If it’s no great shakes to you and your wife and you can afford it I’d offer up the £120, say I’m sorry for the miscommunication and everything since and wish him and his family a merry Christmas and leave if it at that and make no further contact with them, just move on.
 
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antijoke said:
What exactly does reminding him of these past transgressions accomplish exactly? Are you expecting him to bicker back and forth like kids in a playground?

If it’s no great shakes to you and your wife and you can afford it I’d offer up the £120, say I’m sorry for the miscommunication and everything since and wish him and his family a merry Christmas and leave if it at that and make no further contact with them, just move on.
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Giving him the £120 is also him getting away with it and maybe trying it on someone else considering he is doing it to someone that's meant to be a close friend but that's just me also yeah that could bring more trouble than it's worth and just pay up and move on but not without some kind of parting shot feel like it's warranted
 
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