Manager Lingo

Participant · 5 Oct 2011 at 13:45

Synergies are real, people! I learnzed about dem @ skool!

Elixir · 5 Oct 2011 at 13:46

Maccy said:
'Push back'. I don't even know what it means but it's clearly a euphemism.

It's a way of saying "fight back" without using the word fight.

Robbie G said:
Synergies are real, people! I learnzed about dem @ skool!

I'm still not sure what it is. Is it a team of people? Is it an idea? Is it a refined way of working which you strive for?

Participant · 5 Oct 2011 at 13:48

'I'm just not feeling it Dave.'

'Well push back harder then Chris!'

Like that?

randal · 5 Oct 2011 at 13:48

Oh and another load. Outsource language. Sigh.

"Revert to me for clarifications" and "Please do the needful" make me want to get on a plane to Bangalore and start teaching English.

Cosimo · 5 Oct 2011 at 13:49

Robbie G said:
Synergies are real, people! I learnzed about dem @ skool!

Two heads are better than one, well sometimes.

GSXRMovistar · 5 Oct 2011 at 13:56

Ones currently annoying me at work:-

"Let's circle this information up"
"Let's ensure everyone is in lock-step"
"Let's do a deep dive on this"

Let's not!

Participant · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:04

Not manager lingo as such, but I just had a good one...people that say 'my mistake', when we know damn well it was your mistake thanks very much!

Me:

'Hi Rebecca

Please check your payables balance. If differs to the one you signed.'

Her:

'Robert,
This was my mistake. Attached is our updated spreadsheet. Thank you.'

wonko · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:05

simulatorman said:
Not come across "idea shower" before. I think that might raise some eyebrows.

I've heard that this was created after some idiot decided that "brain storm" was not PC any more.

Jay794 · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:09

My favourite is "you failed to meet expectations" instead of just saying "you ****ed up"

Vonhelmet · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:14

"Negative synergy" is a contradiction in terms.

Kazz · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:15

boxman2000 said:
'Give 110%'

I can just imagine Sheldon from Big Bang Theory replying to that

.

Cosimo · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:15

Jay794 said:
My favourite is "you failed to meet expectations" instead of just saying "you ****ed up"

"you ****ed up" doesn't really help when you come round to doing an annual appraisement. Confrontation is not the name of the game.

mattyg · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:16

"lets all work smarter not harder"

mattyg · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:17

simulatorman said:
"you ****ed up" doesn't really help when you come round to doing an annual appraisement. Confrontation is not the name of the game.

A spades a spade and everyone knows what it means

Do you see what I did there

Participant · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:18

Vonhelmet said:
"Negative synergy" is a contradiction in terms.

Management lingo in not making perfect literal sense shocker!

Rameses · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:18

Spunkey said:
I'm gonna need you to go ahead...

... mmmkay

This is what I thought of when I read the title! :cool:

Mmmmmmmkay!

semi-pro waster · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:22

randal24 said:
Another one that riles me is the use of the term "the business". I purposely use "the company" when people use that term and it catches people off guard.

People here use it as if "the business" was a person, as if this nebulous entity lives and breathes. "Does the business understand?" "Have we gone back to the business about this?"

I've questioned several people on who "the business" actually is, and it's normally resulted in several action items for people to go away and find out exactly who they're talking about. I wonder if left unchallenged how many areas of the company miss out on vital information because some ball jostler in a meeting used "the business" get out clause?

Sorry if I'm being slow but how does using "the company" improve on using "the business"? Both terms seem almost interchangeable or to put it another way as open to abuse - where people might refer to "the business" as if it were a person they can equally do so with using "the company".

Robbie G said:
Not manager lingo as such, but I just had a good one...people that say 'my mistake', when we know damn well it was your mistake thanks very much!'

Isn't it better that they're taking responsibility for the mistake rather than trying to blame it on someone else?

paulh · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:26

"at the coal face" gets me.

I'm not a bloody miner!!

Craig1981 · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:26

I'm amazed nobody has mentioned the boss from the TV show Drop the Dead Donkey. Stupid manager speak was practically all he existed for.

Gus Hedges: We've got to downsize our sloppiness overload.
Gus Hedges: Could we interlock brain spaces in my work area?
Gus Hedges: Morning talent base. Are the afterburners on full thrust? You bet.
Gus Hedges: Morning, mountaineers. Climbing the north face of newsmaking again are we? Terrific.
Gus Hedges: George, can we pool our brainspaces in a center of excellence?
Gus Hedges: Quality stress dissipation opportunities here.

To name but a few!

Participant · 5 Oct 2011 at 14:37

semi-pro waster said:
Isn't it better that they're taking responsibility for the mistake rather than trying to blame it on someone else?

Depends. When there's no-one else they could possibly blame, it's just hollow words designed to make you look good. 'Sorry about that' will do fine.