In all seriousness, I used to use a nice Pan Am one from Urban Outfitters, but then wanted one with a decent section for my laptop and I wanted leather.
I bought a Fossil one in the end, as I've got a Fossil iPad Case and Wallet and liked the quality of them both. I can't see my bag on the Fossil website right now, but
http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs...0001_083010356973_-1?breadcrumb=Home~Men~Bags looks like the thing (the description sounds wrong though

).
The laptop section fits my 15" MacBook Pro fine, and obviously has ample room for my 13" MacBook Air. Main section fits all the textbooks, food & drink for a day at Uni fine.