Manly cooking with youstolemyname part2

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 01:58

Manly cooking. That bastion of invincibility that is slowly getting invaded by such pondlife as jamie oliver and james martin.

Real men do not cook. Real men are hunter/gatherers. We bring back the kill for the woman to cook and prepare.

So, without further ado....I present episode two of manly cooking with youstolemyname.

The dish? Afternoon tea. This dish will woo the heart of even the most stone cold woman. Who can resist scones, cream and jam.....washed down with a hot pot of tea.

Ingredients: £6

Method.

Find a ye olde tea shoppe. They are few and far between but when you find one you are on to a winner. I found several in southport today. But shopping around saved me a pound. The first place we visited wanted £3.50 for afternoon tea. Oh no....that isn't man-food.....that's a rip off.

After finding a suitable venue, order your tea. This is usually a choice of darjeeling, english breakfast, earl grey and others. I opted for darjeeling as it is a great tea.

After choosing your tea, you will be asked what type of jam you want. Choose carefully as the type of jam reflects on your persona:

Apricot and you are a Barrymore
Peach and you are a Clary.

Raspberry, Strawberry or Blackcurrant and you can welcome yourself to Andy McNabb's world.

After a short while, your Afternoon Tea will arrive: Two scones, clotted cream ,jam and a pot of tea.

Pay the waitress the £6 and enjoy. You will receive a bonus for this as chicks love afternoon tea. I got to play out till after 1am with my friends tonight. See how far you can push it!

Et voila. Cooking with youstolemyname......all you needed was £6

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 11:22

its a 'scon' otherwise the joke 'What is the fastest cake in the world.....s'cone!' wouldn't work.

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 13:11

Deluxe1 said:
Definitely not "manly".

Yes it is.

Firstly you don't do a thing. You don't lift a finger. This is man cooking at its finest.

Secondly, you get to ogle the fit birds in waitress outfits. You know the ones I mean, black dresses with white pinnies. Kinda like a french maid

Thirdly, if your own bird happens to really like tea, scones and jam you score brownie points for pocket change.

Et voila. The man-o-meter is flashing

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 13:14

Benjarghmin said:
Doesn't really take away the fact you're drinking posh tea out of delicate china whilst indulging in a pot of jam and posh scones. Very lady-like.

I had mine in a mug with Mr T on it.

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 13:15

Benjarghmin said:
Doesn't really take away the fact you're drinking posh tea out of delicate china whilst indulging in a pot of jam and posh scones. Very lady-like.

I had mine in a mug with Mr T on it. And buttered my scone with a sword.

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 13:16

Benjarghmin said:
I think somebody is telling porky pies.

No pork pies mate..only scones here

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 13:27

Benjarghmin said:
Surely if you're taking jammy scones over a good pork pie, you're basically a woman?

Edit: or even worse.. a vegetarian.

lol! Steak and kidney pie is where it's at for man food. A good bit of offal never hurt anyone

Youstolemyname · 15 Jul 2007 at 14:17

monkeyspank said:
You have to ask yourself why your bird might really like tea, scones and jam. The answer is because she is a bird. Mine really likes shoe shopping so if I went shoe shopping with her would that get the manometer flashing?

No as shopping with the bird requires pain and effort. Sitting down somewhere with the missus and drinking a nice brew and enjoying a bit of cake requires zero effort but scores points. Just like taking her out for a meal. Both parties are happy!