Marriage?

nathanael91

nathanael91

nathanael91

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Joined
20 Jan 2012
Posts
408
Location
Colchester
Hi I'm Nathanael

I am 22 years old and I have found someone who I've been dating for about 2 years. I'm a musician in the army and well there is a lot of travelling involved so I don't know why she is still with me.

I am wanting to change my career in the army and pursue life being a chef.

I wanted to post this thread because I want to know what other people think about marriage. Was it worth it or not? I base my life around the opinion of others and try to become a better person as much as I can.

I am someone who believes in only marrying once in my life time.

Should I be scared or excited if I am wanting to marry this person?
 
22 is too young to get married. String her along until you're both in your 30s then drop her for a newer model and marry that.
 
She is 27, calls me normal and not strange so leaving her is out of the question.
I'm hoping to marry in about a year and a half or 2 years. I don't want to **** this up on my behalf.
 
Being married is the same as being boyfriend and girlfriend, great if you are right for each other, crap if you're not.

I've been married for 7 months, chuffing awesome so far but we were together for 8 years beforehand.
 
also i forgot to mention. Since we have been dating we have both lived in different countries, myself in Colchester and her in Paris.

Long distance is pretty hard especially if your not seeing her for a month although you do get plenty of game time :) just not much sex.
 
No idea why your life is based on other people's opinions

I would say you're too young at this stage, see how your pursuit to become a chef goes and how the relationship is at that point

If it is long distance maybe it's time you discussed whether one of you is willing to move country
 
As far as other people's opinions matter, my life has been pretty messed up for example my brother and sisters were taken away from my parents before I was born. When I was 3 years old I had the mentality of a one and a half year so I want to be as wise as an old man and not make any wrong decisions if I know any better.
 
godinman said:
Being married is the same as being boyfriend and girlfriend, great if you are right for each other, crap if you're not.

I've been married for 7 months, chuffing awesome so far but we were together for 8 years beforehand.
Click to expand...

Got married 2 months ago, most amazing day of my life so far, absolutely buzzing and still am to be honest. We had been together nearly 11 years though, and 22 is far too soon to be thinking about it
 
Thing is well since she is 27 and in a couple of years wants to get a baby so that's why I bring up the question of marriage. I would feel better to be married and then have a child rather than the other way round.
I had a Christian upbringing so I think it has had a major influence in the right way over my life.
 
nathanael91 said:
Hi I'm Nathanael

I am 22 years old and I have found someone who I've been dating for about 2 years. I'm a musician in the army and well there is a lot of travelling involved so I don't know why she is still with me.

I am wanting to change my career in the army and pursue life being a chef.

I wanted to post this thread because I want to know what other people think about marriage. Was it worth it or not? I base my life around the opinion of others and try to become a better person as much as I can.

I am someone who believes in only marrying once in my life time.

Should I be scared or excited if I am wanting to marry this person?
Click to expand...

You should be scared and excited - it's a big, scary and exciting step. What other people think about marriage should far less important than what you and your partner want and expect from marriage. Do you have any clear ideas or is it just 'because that's what people do'?

Your long distance situation will likely add problems but you should be aware of that already.
 
In January 2014 we will both be living together in Chelmsford. We have got a nice apartment there to rent. Although this whole situation with army band is getting worse and worse.
 
Getting married isn't such a huge step because it's fairly easy to get divorced when it goes belly up. It isn't like years gone by where you pretty much had to commit to someone for life.
 
Leave her and live the single life ;)

Commit to someone when you're not a boy. 22 is no age to settle down IMO.
 
I've been fortunate that I have been able to live a full life and able to itch those itches, and have very little responsibility and go where the wind took me. However as such I've matured, developed and become the person that I am now (who I happen to like). And am in a situation where marriage appealed to me greatly and happened to found my "pea of the same pod" with whom I want to spend the rest of my life with.

However, I'm in my 30s, I've lived life and had plenty of time to mature and develop to who I am now. At 22, you may well be mature enough, but if so, you don't need to rush into it, enjoy life, and see what happens, if in 5-6 years time things are still as they are, then do it, but don't jump into things unless you are sure - it's not fair on either of you.

It's a big step, it is exciting, and it's something that has to be 100% your choice, not just owing to peer pressure or because it's what is done.
 
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