I am applying for a masters in electronic commerce, the course requires a 2:1 but the guy said if I produce a good personal statement I would be considered for an interview.
Would anyone be able to give me some critical feed back on my personal statement?
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I am applying for the Electronic Commerce course at ******** University as I have had a long standing interest and passion for the deliverance of business solutions through technological innovation. I am very interested in the topics covered by the course which relate to innovation and business modeling which I believe would be invaluable for future entrepreneurial ventures or employment within the ecommerce sector. My interest in this course is further aroused by its EPAS accreditation and also its practical focus, two factors which I believe make it best placed for ensuring maximum personal development and enhanced future career prospects.
I believe I can stand out from other applicants due to my experience in developing and operating two internet based businesses between the ages of fifteen to twenty. The first of these imported electronic products from Hong Kong for sale in the UK market, the second business developed and sold computer security information to the worldwide market. The experience and skill set I developed from these ventures is vast, it includes areas such as e-marketing, programming and business modeling. I believe these skills will be directly transferable to the course programme, assisting me in concise understanding and creative project work.
My primary degree is in Real Estate Management, this course was delivered with fundamental business principles throughout, such as Valuation, Market Analysis and Economics. During the four years completing my undergraduate degree I developed a number of key skills, including oral and written presentation, problem solving and research techniques. A major part of the final year was a collaborative project involving all disciplines of the built environment, this was a unique programme to Heriot-Watt and I found it a very valuable experience, developing my team work skills extensively.
I believe that the knowledge and skills gained through my primary degree combined with my personal business experience will have equipped me to undertake the Electronic Commerce course to a high standard.
I have two future career paths that I would consider, both of these would be greatly aided by having completing the E-Commerce course. The first path would be to pursue entrepreneurial ventures, obtaining the masters would equip me with a solid foundation of knowledge and skills. This would enable me to turn an idea into a working and competitively placed business. Furthermore the beneficial attributes of completing this programme would add integrity to any future business plan, which would in turn help to secure finance.
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Still have to add a few lines at the bottom to wrap it up.
Any help would be much appreciated.
Would anyone be able to give me some critical feed back on my personal statement?
####
I am applying for the Electronic Commerce course at ******** University as I have had a long standing interest and passion for the deliverance of business solutions through technological innovation. I am very interested in the topics covered by the course which relate to innovation and business modeling which I believe would be invaluable for future entrepreneurial ventures or employment within the ecommerce sector. My interest in this course is further aroused by its EPAS accreditation and also its practical focus, two factors which I believe make it best placed for ensuring maximum personal development and enhanced future career prospects.
I believe I can stand out from other applicants due to my experience in developing and operating two internet based businesses between the ages of fifteen to twenty. The first of these imported electronic products from Hong Kong for sale in the UK market, the second business developed and sold computer security information to the worldwide market. The experience and skill set I developed from these ventures is vast, it includes areas such as e-marketing, programming and business modeling. I believe these skills will be directly transferable to the course programme, assisting me in concise understanding and creative project work.
My primary degree is in Real Estate Management, this course was delivered with fundamental business principles throughout, such as Valuation, Market Analysis and Economics. During the four years completing my undergraduate degree I developed a number of key skills, including oral and written presentation, problem solving and research techniques. A major part of the final year was a collaborative project involving all disciplines of the built environment, this was a unique programme to Heriot-Watt and I found it a very valuable experience, developing my team work skills extensively.
I believe that the knowledge and skills gained through my primary degree combined with my personal business experience will have equipped me to undertake the Electronic Commerce course to a high standard.
I have two future career paths that I would consider, both of these would be greatly aided by having completing the E-Commerce course. The first path would be to pursue entrepreneurial ventures, obtaining the masters would equip me with a solid foundation of knowledge and skills. This would enable me to turn an idea into a working and competitively placed business. Furthermore the beneficial attributes of completing this programme would add integrity to any future business plan, which would in turn help to secure finance.
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Still have to add a few lines at the bottom to wrap it up.
Any help would be much appreciated.
