Summery
Basically this is about my mates girlfriend who, has gone from one mate to another over 4 years and in the process of being a bunny boiler has hacked me off so much I had to cave in and write a thread about it.
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Full Story
(all names are fake and i have named them to make it easier to read)
Skip back two years from now
I was living in student residences across the hall from me were my main group of guys i hung around with, on the first week a guy in one of the flats named “Paul” got with this lass called “Rachel” she seemed fine etc
But after a few weeks everything went downhill, every night we went out she came out and was very clingy, we were ok fine at first but then this started to stop “Paul” making new friends especially female ones (which again is a given). But shortly after that things got worse, she started crying on nights out and started following him around when he was having “mates time”, if he went out with his mates shed follow him in the distance and watch what he was doing. It got too much for him and every time he tried to break it up she came crying back until eventually, he started to be mean to her to get her away not being nice in the way he went back (which tbh he had to because she wasn’t going away) . In all of this time she was calling his mates namely me and other people from his flat trying to find where he was etc.
This carried on for another two years, in which time I know that she slept with one of his mates from back home, a mate of his football team and was sleeping with a local dealer, while trying to get back with him and at times succeeding.
Side note: one of the Christmases when she had a bf she stated to Paul that shed drop her current boyfriend for him if he wanted (I unwantingly overheard)
***
Present Time
So skip forward to two months ago, “Paul” is in a different country doing a placement and she ends up living with me and James for 2 months as one of our other flat mates has gone home and we thought it would be ok.
So after a few nights out, everything seems fine she appears to be ok. We then after a few weeks have a heart to heart about things in the past and she (Rachel) declares how she’s still in love with Paul and would still try to get with him if he was here.
Now I was like ok right...bad times now I am living with Paul and James next year all i Could think was good times to come her crying outside the flat all of the time !
James birthday happens and we all go out have a good time and in the background Rachel and James hit it off they get together that night. Eventually they keep doing couple things and James and Rachel become the infamous boyfriend and girlfriend.
Now this is James first ever girlfriend here so this may explain a lot. James sought approval of his mates and Paul words were exchanged and he was shunned by his mates from back home however Paul said ok fine no problem.
So Present time
Now a lot of the ladies in the flat despised Rachel for the fact she went out with James and were a little annoyed with James as well but let it slide as Paul was fine and dandy about this couldn't care etc. As he’s been pulling and is actually a pretty mellow guy (words were traded male bonding happened etc. over the subject)
but here comes the main issues, she has reportedly admitted to one of the lasses and Paul that she still likes Paul whilst drunk in two separate occasions. Now I know she still had feelings just over a week before she went out with James (she told me we had a heart to heart) now I instantly held this against her the moment they went out but I kept shtum...
Now this could be false as i know the lasses do hate Rachel but Paul i do believe, (as she never try’s to interact with them and I have seen this before by her from the previous 3 years, I must admit but I’m never there all the time so it could be 50/50)
then she told Paul one night she still liked him again when drunk and yes in that manner, fell asleep on the bottom of his bed, he woke her up kicked her out the room (there was someone already in the room to collaborate this)
ok....so skip ahead 1 week, she and him go out at 1am come back at 4 there’s only 3 of them in the flat bar James and Rachel already tucked away in bed and they are arguing slamming doors broke bathroom lock and some glasses till 7am....
another week later, on a night out and it’s my first night where I have a morning off as I’m back at uni and now working part time so i want to go out with my mate James and Paul, then 30 mins later Rachel joins us, ok fine ill just chat and wander about maybe find a nice lady to talk too....
Skip 2-3 hours
James says hey ladies to 2 women walking past as Rachel over hears, arguments ensure they so called break up (there both smashed I’m here when this happens)
He’s like shell be back, she then disappears and then re appears 5 mins later grabbing Pauls arm for some reason, Rachel and James then disappear sort stuff out, then argue again,
Skip an hour
I'm wandering about and see James eyeing up Paul at the bar and Rachel is trying to put her arm round him he just stands back, James after 5 mins goes up and pushes her away from Paul, walks off, Paul asks if i can be the bad guy as she’s crying to him now, i tell her not to come back to the flat till she’s sober as it’ll create an argument for all of us
outside he won’t leave the area till he knows she’s come out alone as he’s scared shell pull, she comes out, argue police get involved get taxi he walks home, she disappears I get a call saying she’s at our in a taxi while I’m on my way back i get out tell her look just come out the taxi well talk she shouts is he here, i said yeah come on out, well talk again she comes out runs into his room starts shouting at me calling me a liar ( might I add James is now on the phone trying to give her abuse for being... well u know I overheard and he later admitted), i tell her look i was going to say let’s sort things chill go home etc. but she keeps on shouting, so i shout till she till she’s crying tell her to get out, so she leaves .... hozarrrrr I get an applause from the other ladies and he comes back then she comes they argue, then laugh then she disappears,
***
Two days later
She apologises to one of the lasses who wasn't there on the first big argument (of the night in the fat, they have been arguing on/ off over the 2 month just this is at the / inside the flat and involves us)
***
So skip to tonight she’s gone out, with James for a lot of drinks as one of our mates that we all know is back at uni, so I’m expecting another argument and its starting to annoy me and the rest of the flat but we don't want to say something as James is really sensitive since it’s his first gf etc.....
If she does come back and argue.... what should or do i do (I’m not going to kick her out again it’s just too much hassle and i felt crap for making her cry regardless of the fact she was arguing till 5 with him after etc.) I do apologise for this poorly written post but any help suggestions please.
Basically this is about my mates girlfriend who, has gone from one mate to another over 4 years and in the process of being a bunny boiler has hacked me off so much I had to cave in and write a thread about it.
*********************************
Full Story
(all names are fake and i have named them to make it easier to read)
Skip back two years from now
I was living in student residences across the hall from me were my main group of guys i hung around with, on the first week a guy in one of the flats named “Paul” got with this lass called “Rachel” she seemed fine etc
But after a few weeks everything went downhill, every night we went out she came out and was very clingy, we were ok fine at first but then this started to stop “Paul” making new friends especially female ones (which again is a given). But shortly after that things got worse, she started crying on nights out and started following him around when he was having “mates time”, if he went out with his mates shed follow him in the distance and watch what he was doing. It got too much for him and every time he tried to break it up she came crying back until eventually, he started to be mean to her to get her away not being nice in the way he went back (which tbh he had to because she wasn’t going away) . In all of this time she was calling his mates namely me and other people from his flat trying to find where he was etc.
This carried on for another two years, in which time I know that she slept with one of his mates from back home, a mate of his football team and was sleeping with a local dealer, while trying to get back with him and at times succeeding.
Side note: one of the Christmases when she had a bf she stated to Paul that shed drop her current boyfriend for him if he wanted (I unwantingly overheard)
***
Present Time
So skip forward to two months ago, “Paul” is in a different country doing a placement and she ends up living with me and James for 2 months as one of our other flat mates has gone home and we thought it would be ok.
So after a few nights out, everything seems fine she appears to be ok. We then after a few weeks have a heart to heart about things in the past and she (Rachel) declares how she’s still in love with Paul and would still try to get with him if he was here.
Now I was like ok right...bad times now I am living with Paul and James next year all i Could think was good times to come her crying outside the flat all of the time !
James birthday happens and we all go out have a good time and in the background Rachel and James hit it off they get together that night. Eventually they keep doing couple things and James and Rachel become the infamous boyfriend and girlfriend.
Now this is James first ever girlfriend here so this may explain a lot. James sought approval of his mates and Paul words were exchanged and he was shunned by his mates from back home however Paul said ok fine no problem.
So Present time
Now a lot of the ladies in the flat despised Rachel for the fact she went out with James and were a little annoyed with James as well but let it slide as Paul was fine and dandy about this couldn't care etc. As he’s been pulling and is actually a pretty mellow guy (words were traded male bonding happened etc. over the subject)
but here comes the main issues, she has reportedly admitted to one of the lasses and Paul that she still likes Paul whilst drunk in two separate occasions. Now I know she still had feelings just over a week before she went out with James (she told me we had a heart to heart) now I instantly held this against her the moment they went out but I kept shtum...
Now this could be false as i know the lasses do hate Rachel but Paul i do believe, (as she never try’s to interact with them and I have seen this before by her from the previous 3 years, I must admit but I’m never there all the time so it could be 50/50)
then she told Paul one night she still liked him again when drunk and yes in that manner, fell asleep on the bottom of his bed, he woke her up kicked her out the room (there was someone already in the room to collaborate this)
ok....so skip ahead 1 week, she and him go out at 1am come back at 4 there’s only 3 of them in the flat bar James and Rachel already tucked away in bed and they are arguing slamming doors broke bathroom lock and some glasses till 7am....
another week later, on a night out and it’s my first night where I have a morning off as I’m back at uni and now working part time so i want to go out with my mate James and Paul, then 30 mins later Rachel joins us, ok fine ill just chat and wander about maybe find a nice lady to talk too....
Skip 2-3 hours
James says hey ladies to 2 women walking past as Rachel over hears, arguments ensure they so called break up (there both smashed I’m here when this happens)
He’s like shell be back, she then disappears and then re appears 5 mins later grabbing Pauls arm for some reason, Rachel and James then disappear sort stuff out, then argue again,
Skip an hour
I'm wandering about and see James eyeing up Paul at the bar and Rachel is trying to put her arm round him he just stands back, James after 5 mins goes up and pushes her away from Paul, walks off, Paul asks if i can be the bad guy as she’s crying to him now, i tell her not to come back to the flat till she’s sober as it’ll create an argument for all of us
outside he won’t leave the area till he knows she’s come out alone as he’s scared shell pull, she comes out, argue police get involved get taxi he walks home, she disappears I get a call saying she’s at our in a taxi while I’m on my way back i get out tell her look just come out the taxi well talk she shouts is he here, i said yeah come on out, well talk again she comes out runs into his room starts shouting at me calling me a liar ( might I add James is now on the phone trying to give her abuse for being... well u know I overheard and he later admitted), i tell her look i was going to say let’s sort things chill go home etc. but she keeps on shouting, so i shout till she till she’s crying tell her to get out, so she leaves .... hozarrrrr I get an applause from the other ladies and he comes back then she comes they argue, then laugh then she disappears,
***
Two days later
She apologises to one of the lasses who wasn't there on the first big argument (of the night in the fat, they have been arguing on/ off over the 2 month just this is at the / inside the flat and involves us)
***
So skip to tonight she’s gone out, with James for a lot of drinks as one of our mates that we all know is back at uni, so I’m expecting another argument and its starting to annoy me and the rest of the flat but we don't want to say something as James is really sensitive since it’s his first gf etc.....
If she does come back and argue.... what should or do i do (I’m not going to kick her out again it’s just too much hassle and i felt crap for making her cry regardless of the fact she was arguing till 5 with him after etc.) I do apologise for this poorly written post but any help suggestions please.
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