Money lending to family

Aruffell · 8 Mar 2006 at 23:25

Firstly a tip -

DON'T DO IT.

Back in December i was approached by my brother and his wife wanting money to be lent to them.

I was reluctant but was sor of pushed into it by my dad who said "you'll get it back etc... help them out"

I said "how's £100"

They asked for £250

I went on for about 10 minutes saying that i'd prefer to do £100 and they still were cheeky and kept asking for £250.

I stuck at £100 and they borrowed another £100 from my parents.

They also got a loan out 4 years ago which they are going through every credit card to pay off.

Their credit rating is crap so all of the loan and credit cards are all in my dad's name who now can't get any other kind of credit as it is crippling their credit rating.

It's now March and they still owe me £100 and my parents.

They are paying the minimum payment on the credit card (which isn't really getting them anywhere).

Today they asked my parents for more money to buy another car (LMFAO). They asked in a lovely polite manner.

My parents said no straight away.

They got nasty and said they are going to change their phone number (they live in N.Ireland and we live in England)

They said that we won't be able to contact them or their children (my nieces)

This is either the heat of the moment or not, if it is not, then they will stop paying the credit card payments and it will all be dropped onto my parents who don't work (dad is disabled and mum is carer).

They can't afford to pay it etc....

I felt that they were treating my parents badly so i stepped in and had a go, and got a go back.

At the end of it all i was told to screw myself but not in them words.

They also then phoned up and said to my parents that they never cared and that they are a tight bunch of swedish bankers.

Now, they can call me anything they want, but i get annoyed when it becomes personal insults to my mum who would give anything up for them (she has).

Now i'm annoyed and just frankly needed to vent and i'm contemplating contacting a solicitor to get my £100 back.

There were around 8 people who witnessed me lend the money and i believe it counts as an orally binding contract.

Maybe, yes i am going overboard but there is no need to turn to insults like that to my mum.

Someone tell me what to do.

Please don't take the mick, as i've just spent the good part of 10 minutes writing this post and i feel i can share my problems with you guys on here with confidence.

Thanks,

Andy

Aruffell · 8 Mar 2006 at 23:31

me227 said:
You could always send them a small claims court letter to try and receive the money. I know what it's like to have ungrateful brothers that are all nicey nicey when they are looking something.

Indeed they are all nice when they want something, but when you say no, they slate you down and swear at you, then come back in a week for something else.

Does my head in

Never lending money again.

Aruffell · 8 Mar 2006 at 23:33

panthro said:
that pretty harsh mate, the problem is, is that your brother has got himself in such a deep hole, he cant dig himself out of it, and has had to resort to personal attacks, as he realises what a mess he is in, but doesnt want to admit it.

In the way of advice, I would give him some cooling off time, and wait to see if he apologises to both you and your parents. Its important that your parents cut him off from them financially, as he has already landed them in the proverbial with all his credit cards in your dads name.

Maybe, once they have calmed down, some advice could be given to them either by you or your parents about their financial situation, but by the sound of it, they are not ones to want to listen to things they do not want to hear.

Thanks,

I think you have hit it spot on.

The problem is, they are in debt but keep buying things, and it's really annoying me that they can owe money left, right and centre but still buy things.

Are they really that dumb

My brother's wife keeps going on about how wealthy her dad is, but for some reason always comes to my dad or me.

Can't be that wealthy can he now.

I hate liars

lol

Aruffell · 8 Mar 2006 at 23:56

The emotional blackmail doesn't stop there by the way.

My parents were meant to be moving to Northern Ireland but my mum pulled out at the last moment.

My brother's wife then said "well, you can tell the girls that you're not moving then, they will be heartbroken"

I knew they wouldn't as they are kids and forget things in an instant.

My mum told them, and 5 minutes later they were fine about it.

My brother's wife keeps reminding them though

"wouldn't it be good if they did move over, they not now"

That gets my nieces upset again.

Crappest mother ever ARGHHH lol

Aruffell · 8 Mar 2006 at 23:58

You don't know the half of it Nix lol

I know so much dirt on the girl, but i'm too nice to say anything

Aruffell · 9 Mar 2006 at 00:11

Jamie1984 said:
I disagree, you have been burnt here mate and i understand you venting, you lent out some money probably believing it to be going to a worthy cause when realy its a drop in the ocean with your brothers problems and not appreciated at all. Hard I know but I think you need to drop the idea about claiming back the £100, your brother obviously has bigger problems to deal with. try focus your attention on stopping this from happening anymore to you or your parents.
I dont wanna rub it in but id lend my siblings my last pennies, i know they would do the same for me.

Hope you get this sorted bud.

I guess your siblings differ from mine.

My brother wouldn't lend me any money.

I borrowed money once when i was 16 and i borrowed £50 but had to give me £60.

I never borrowed from him again.

It's not about the £100.

I can live without £100.

They know that i can live without £100.

It's the principle and i want to teach them a lesson to show that they can't treat people like this.

I really don't care about the money but just last week he phoned my brother and asked if he could get some new alloys as he wants some they look different.

If i was in debt, i wouldn't keep buying stuff.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH lol

Aruffell · 9 Mar 2006 at 14:32

As said, it's not the money.

£100 is nothing to me, but it's the principle of it all.

I still debating whether to pay the debt all off for them as it's in my parents name and i want to get them out of trouble as i can wait longer than a credit card can.

Tough decision though.

I'm just annoyed at the way that my parents get treated.

This morning they phoned up and apologised to my parents for the way they acted.

I haven't heard a word of apology to me so they can sod off lol.

My parents might have to move out of their house into something smaller (that's how bad it's getting).

They wanted the money to buy ANOTHER car i should have said.

My brother has a car which he keeps buying mods for :mad:

They wanted another car for his wife so she can pick the kids up from school as they are moving into a smaller house and don't want to move the kids to another school.

I don't understand why, they are 5 years old and 8 years old. They make new friends.

/Rant over lol

I'm only 18, but i think i'm the only sane person in this family

Andy

Aruffell · 9 Mar 2006 at 16:09

As said, £100 is nothing.

The principle of it is another thing.

I was promised, and was told "a promise is a promise".

This has made me angry how they say these things and don't do anything about it.

The loan is in my dad's name and he got the credit cards out to pay the loan off.

My brother is paying the minimum payment on the credit cards.

Andy