Mortgage Relationship Query

tang0

tang0

tang0

Soldato
Joined
12 Jun 2003
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Don't know if this is appropriate to put in here, I didn't want to open a new thread, but just would like some quick thoughts on this arrangement.

My brother is about to complete on a house with his partner (not married). He's put 100% of deposit down, and will be paying 100% of the mortgage. His partner does not work, and won't be contributing to any of the bills. He's decided to put 50% of the house in her name, technically gifting 50% of equity to her, mortgage is in his name. If anything happens and they split, she will just cop 50% and he'll either have to buy her share back (his money) or sell, correct?

Please tell me that I'm not the only one to think this is completely and utterly insane. I've tried talking to him about it, he thinks it's completely normal
 
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tang0 said:
Don't know if this is appropriate to put in here, I didn't want to open a new thread, but just would like some quick thoughts on this arrangement.

My brother is about to complete on a house with his partner (not married). He's put 100% of deposit down, and will be paying 100% of the mortgage. His partner does not work, and won't be contributing to any of the bills. He's decided to put 50% of the house in her name, technically gifting 50% of equity to her. If anything happens and they split, she will just cop 50%, correct?

Please tell me that I'm not the only one to think this is completely and utterly insane. I've tried talking to him about it, he thinks it's completely normal
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Probably worth bookmarking the relationship and hugs thread in anticipation. Love does weird things.
 
tang0 said:
Don't know if this is appropriate to put in here, I didn't want to open a new thread, but just would like some quick thoughts on this arrangement.

My brother is about to complete on a house with his partner (not married). He's put 100% of deposit down, and will be paying 100% of the mortgage. His partner does not work, and won't be contributing to any of the bills. He's decided to put 50% of the house in her name, technically gifting 50% of equity to her, mortgage is in his name. If anything happens and they split, she will just cop 50% and he'll either have to buy her share back (his money) or sell, correct?

Please tell me that I'm not the only one to think this is completely and utterly insane. I've tried talking to him about it, he thinks it's completely normal
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He’s a silly man. You may think everything is perfect now but you may end up completely stuffed in a few years. Life throws things in your way constantly.

My wife and me have 50/50 share of the house. I did put more towards deposit but it was essentially written off my end of anything changes so I accept that. But it’s a small sum compared to 50% of the property value.

Tell him to take his rose tinted glasses off and accept the reality.
 
grudas said:
He’s a silly man. You may think everything is perfect now but you may end up completely stuffed in a few years. Life throws things in your way constantly.

My wife and me have 50/50 share of the house. I did put more towards deposit but it was essentially written off my end of anything changes so I accept that. But it’s a small sum compared to 50% of the property value.

Tell him to take his rose tinted glasses off and accept the reality.
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I put the vast majority of the budget towards our house deposit and she put very little. We own the house 50/50 and had only been together a couple of years although we had a child early at 21 before the house purchase so that did bring us together stronger.

We have been together 18 years now. If you doubt and worry about money at the beginning of the relationship then it is doomed from the get go imo.
 
tang0 said:
Don't know if this is appropriate to put in here, I didn't want to open a new thread, but just would like some quick thoughts on this arrangement.

My brother is about to complete on a house with his partner (not married). He's put 100% of deposit down, and will be paying 100% of the mortgage. His partner does not work, and won't be contributing to any of the bills. He's decided to put 50% of the house in her name, technically gifting 50% of equity to her, mortgage is in his name. If anything happens and they split, she will just cop 50% and he'll either have to buy her share back (his money) or sell, correct?

Please tell me that I'm not the only one to think this is completely and utterly insane. I've tried talking to him about it, he thinks it's completely normal
Click to expand...

Ooof
 
tang0 said:
He's put 100% of deposit down, and will be paying 100% of the mortgage. His partner does not work, and won't be contributing to any of the bills. He's decided to put 50% of the house in her name, technically gifting 50% of equity to her, mortgage is in his name.
Click to expand...

You want a lawyer for this.

tang0 said:
If anything happens and they split, she will just cop 50% and he'll either have to buy her share back (his money) or sell, correct?
Click to expand...

You want a lawyer for this.
tang0 said:
Please tell me that I'm not the only one to think this is completely and utterly insane. I've tried talking to him about it, he thinks it's completely normal
Click to expand...

Your opinion is not what your brother needs right now.
 
I feel like we're getting a fraction of the story here.

What does she do for him? Do they have kids? You said she doesn't work, but that's a weird statement and implies she just sits around doing nothing. Is she taking care of their potentially mutual children all day, every day?
 
uber soldat said:
Dude is insane, he's literally giving away half the house value.
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House equity. Not value. He can't give her half of what he doesn't have. The equity will be close to nothing once selling fee's, conveyancing etc is taken away from it. Certainly short term anyway.

I made the same mistake in my 20's, then repeated it again late 30's except this time got married too. It didn;t feel like a mistake at the time though. Due to having no kids the split was fairly easy. You take the shared growth (savings, pension, house equity, other assets), minus what your liabilities are and half it. The difficulty comes when one person says "ah well I had this and its worth that". It's difficult to ascertain who had what and what it was worth at the time, even when combing through historic bank statements and the like.

This time - mid 40's, my partner and I pulled together a spreadsheet with all of our assets listed before we bought our house. Along with latest statements from banks etc and totalled it up. Saved a copy each and archived it. That way we know what we had at the start which we can subtract from the total shared growth if a split was to happen. This asset identification, when we are friends, was so much easier to put together than it was with my ex wife who was angry and bitter by the time we got round to it. That exercise is the best tip I could give to anyone in a similar position and simply helps protect each other in the future.
 
I'll also add, what seems a lot of money now to him likely won't in a few years and he'll shrug it off, just like I did. Also it's difficult to put a price on happiness and getting out of a bad relationship, even if it costs you a few grand in the process, feels amazing!
Obviously we are all presuming it's going to go south, which I hope it doesn't :)
 
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If your brother's wife is a SAHM and taking care of the household and children full-time, then I would argue it is fair.
Otherwise, not a hell's chance.
But "love" makes people do stupid things.
 
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If he did get married he'd put a lot more than half a house on the line being the only breadwinner.

But he's not married and still giving away half a title to someone who guarantees nothing.

Fully commit or don't, why put yourself in a position where you stake half a house and the other person can walk away with it at any time with no moral, legal or financial obligations.
 
Some guys just want companionship and money isn't that important.
If he's genuinely happy than ok.
Maybe she'll rinse him, maybe she won't. It's his life tbh let him work it out.

I think most on here are pretty jaded when it comes to this kind of advice.
 
Gray2233 said:
I feel like we're getting a fraction of the story here.

What does she do for him? Do they have kids? You said she doesn't work, but that's a weird statement and implies she just sits around doing nothing. Is she taking care of their potentially mutual children all day, every day?
Click to expand...

This....
 
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