My ex-girlfriend died

As I said, I don't know why or how she died. Talked to a mutual friend and she reckons she was suffering from an undiagnosed condition. It's probably too early for details, but I doubt it was and hope it wasn't suicide. Been thinking about getting in touch with her parents or brother but may be best to wait. Wouldn't quite know how to approach them anyways.

Cheers again for the thoughtful comments. Trying to distract myself at the moment. I'm in denial, still hoping someone's gonna tell me it was a joke or misunderstanding of sorts. Felt the same when a relative died a couple of years back.
 
I think if you knew them well enough it would be a nice gesture to send them some flowers and a card/letter, depending on how much you want to say. It'll be easier for you to put thoughts down on paper than to call/go over there and say anything. Also less intrusive than you getting in touch. You were split after all, and if there is another partner after you, it would be better not to complicate things too much.
 
When did you break up? If it was quite recent, then by all means send a card and flowers and offering your help in anyway. Or, pop round with some food for them that they can just throw in the oven.

If it was a while ago, then I think a card with your thoughts on will suffice. I wouldn't get 'involved' if the breakup was a while ago.

Further to this, don't feel guilty. Nothing you could have done.
 
I hope your OK brother.

Now look, I've been dreading the day if someone told me that.
Thing is, about you blocking her...well there must have been a reason you did so - I won't ask, but if there was a reason, then I don't see the need to feel guilty.

As they say...shiz happens.
If you wanted to be in contact with her etc, then you wouldn't have broken up in the first place - put it that way.

Long story short, another life is lost in this miserable world, and the world hasn't become a better place. But you should not blame yourself, feel guilty, or feel that you did something wrong.
Missing her, is not a crime, and is completely natural. Even if a friend of mine, be it girl or guy passed away, I would cry my heart out.

Be strong brother.
R.I.P to your ex.
 
Sometimes we all avoid ex's and ex friends for reasons we have that make sense at the time. You cant control how life go's and how things happen; from someone you know dying in an accident to a sudden illness it's one of those things. You should not carry any guilt for that, the strength of mourning you have for her passing is because you cared despite her being your ex. That shows character and strength use both of those to help get you through this, truly sorry for your loss.

Hitman
 
OP, whilst I'm sorry for your loss I'm utterly confused as to your feelings of guilt.

You don't know how she died so why feel guilty?

She might have been in an accident, something which you have utterly no bearing on.
She could have had an illness as you've already speculated.

Neither is your fault in the slightest so stop the silly thoughts!

And think of it this way, you're no doubt a good bloke but are you THAT good that life isn't worth it without you? Push those silly thoughts out of your head. Remember her for who she was and you never know, you might see her some day again (hopefully far off for you!).
 
My ex girlfriend died when I was 20, she was 18, we had only split up 6 months (I finished with her) She had an arguement with her new BF and took her mothers heart tablets, got rushed to A+E but they couldn't save her :(

Hope your OK, I know how hard it can be.
 
Sorry for your loss mate :(

A friend of mine died a couple of years ago. He was an alcoholic and eventually killed himself with the stuff.

He used to text and call me a whole lot just before he died. I kept my distance, as he had schizophrenic tendencies which would come out when he was drunk. So, most of the time I never replied.

After his death, I was consumed with guilt, and this went on for months. I'd have 'what ifs' going through my head over and over. What if I had talked to him and been a better friend instead of ignoring him?

It wasn't my fault, as its not yours. You'll realise that eventually.

With regards to talking to her family and offering your condolences, only you know if that would be appropriate or not. I've always been of the opinion that if you're not sure, just wait and reassess further down the line.
 
sorry to hear this op but you cant beat yourself up about things like this some hings just don't work out and you avoiding or not wanting to talk was for your own good it was how you were dealing with the brake up i must say im in a similar situation only i have to talk to mine!

STAY Strong , and frosty :P
 
This thread makes me feel really sad.

What if someone you know or care for just died tomorrow?

Best to make them know what you really feel every day.
 
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