ok just noticed my server was runnning with almost all ram used up, mostly by mysql, so can anyone provide me a mysql config that would make it use a lot less ram say 128-256, max connections 100
400MB isn't too unreasonable if it's a shared hosting server.
If you're already running the default config (no increased caching, etc), I wouldn't recommend tweaking it to lower memory usage. Any steps you could take to lower it would most likely be detrimental to performance.
Personally I'd just put another stick of RAM in. Don't you work for Poundhost? Shouldn't cost you much .
'mysqladmin extended-status' should give you a ton of info. Paste it
Look into query caching if the extended status says it's not enabled. You'll save so much CPU
How busy is 'busy'? I'm serving ~300 forum/site users with barely any load, mmmmm RAM
key_buffer size will be responsible for most RAM usage. 100 - 200Mb should be alright - check the size of all your .MYI files as the aim is to have the key_buffer around this size.
Look for my-large.cnf and my-huge.cnf on your server - they'll provide you with a good base from which to setup your server
Lastly you might want to know what all hte status variables mean. For 4.1, see here
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