Caporegime
Hi all,
Its not secret for anyone who knows me that my relationship with my brother has been somewhat strained over the years. And I have debated writing this thread many times but tonight I found out some more information which has tipped me over the edge. Right now I am really feeling a strong need to help my parents who are at a complete loss of what to do with him and I fear it may push my already mentally not very stable Mum to do something which can't be taken back.
Some background...he is 28, 3 years younger than me. He was always the kid at school which caused trouble at school, had a serious problem with authority. Many run ins from the law even at young teenage age. He was taking and dealing drugs by the time he was 15. All of this compacted by the fact my parents were going through an incredibly rough and long drawn out divorce so he was left to run riot to his own liking.
After he finished school, he had little interest in holding down a job. Wanted all the money to do whatever he wanted. Didn't want to work for it. Would work 3 weeks, demand some kind of promotion when walk out whilst flipping off the manager, that kind of behaviour.
When he got a car and a license he began drug running for years and was also well into taking whatever they would give him. Including being fully hooked on Heroin for a long time. We all knew what was going on, did what we could to manage and separate ourselves from it. Police claimed they were unable to do anything at the time.
To give you an example of some of his kind of behaviours, he was kicked out of my Mums place when gang members had come around breaking windows to threaten him as he had taken some of the supply and she refused to talk to him. During this weekend he rang me 50+ times (and that isn't an exaggeration, I noted it all down) and he was threatening to come to mine and all the rest of it, I had to get a restraining order against him etc.
Anyway, fast forward a few years of this **** like hell he put us all through, and finally karma gets him and he is arrested by the police with possession of a firearm, drug trafficking, and GBH. Given an 8 year sentence and we all breathed a sigh of relief.
Quite simply put, this time he was inside, was the most peaceful time for all of us. We were all happy about it. Could actually lead some kind of a normal life as well.
While he was inside, the system seemed to do something. They got him clean, he seemed to straighten out a bit. And he served 4 out of 8 years then was released in November on probation.
Dad took him in (Dad has since remarried) gave him a job at his company, a car and a hobby (model power boating, more on that in a moment) - literally a complete fresh start, probably the best that anyone could be offered in that instance.
Everything was fine for a few months. Dad was taking him boating literally every weekend (his thought was if he was keeping him occupied outside of work he wouldn't go back to his old habits and people he used to hang out with)
He kept the job for 3 months, then started turning up late, started telling others he could do what he wanted as his Dad owned the place etc. Started disappearing off for hours at a time and nobody knew where he was, we all knew the signs. We were sure he was up to no good again.
It got to early May when behaviour with him just kept on deteriorating both inside and outside of work (the boating continued as a last hope) but his behaviour was becoming increasingly erratic. Say the wrong word to him and the next thing you know and he is shaking with anger and threatening to kill you, like some kind of light switch in his head had been turned.
Anyway, still in early May, Dad fires him. Gives him his notice and says he needs to find work elsewhere. As his behaviour wasn't acceptable. The following 2 weeks he continued with more erratic behaviour. At this point he just gets ignored because we're all frankly, fed up with him. Then on May 21st Dad gets a phone call. Brother has crashed his car (completely written it off) and the police attended the seen, he has failed a drug test on the side of the road, so was being taken to the hospital to have blood taken from him. He tested positive for cocaine in his system (by the test on the side of the road)
Now this is where the real problems began. So from here, he is still out on probation, and he has just been found to be driving under the influence of drugs. The family were told that once the hospital process the blood test results, if he tests positives for drugs in the system, the police would turn up and take him without notice. This has sent his anxiety off into overdrive.
Constantly repeating himself, saying he is on a "time limit" and wanting to take his boat sailing at every single opportunity to a point where it has turned into an obsession as he is convinced each day is the last day he will get to do it.
What also came to light is that he has been put on prescribed methadone to whine him off whatever he was taking before + anti anxiety medication he has also been ordering various meds online and been self medicating. So really its not a wonder he is all over the place all the time.
As far as I am concerned, he 6ft 4, 20 stone ticking timebomb. Say the wrong thing to him and the mist will descend, then he will do something you can't take back. I am genuinely concerned for those in close proximity to him. My parents are at a complete loss of what to do and he is completely out of control. Part of the issue is also my Dad is away for work constantly right now, so he is worried about my step mum and her kids in case he snaps.
Anyway, thats the LONG context of where we are right now.
I feel like I need to do something here. Parents are at a loss on what to do with him. A completely exhausted loss and they're waiting for the drug test results to come through and him be carted off in a meat wagon. And the other thing is, what if he gets away with it, somehow? They don't know what to do.
So I turn to the collective of OcUK. What authorities can be contacted? Maybe I have seen too many movies, but IMO he needs to be forced into rehab and a forced detox. As he is just way too unstable with all the crap he is constantly putting through his body right now. Its a wonder he has not had a heart attack.
I have genuine cause for concern for those around him. I know he admitted to me in confidence he attempted to take his own life (I don't actually believe him) - but I wondered if that could be used to classify him as a danger to himself to get some more serious measures taken. He is a danger to the public IMO.
I also wonder if anyone who might know more (I know there is a Bobby or two on the forum) - if there is an official time limit for how long the hospital & police can take to get back to us with the results of the blood test?
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Any thoughts or advice are welcome.
Jake
Its not secret for anyone who knows me that my relationship with my brother has been somewhat strained over the years. And I have debated writing this thread many times but tonight I found out some more information which has tipped me over the edge. Right now I am really feeling a strong need to help my parents who are at a complete loss of what to do with him and I fear it may push my already mentally not very stable Mum to do something which can't be taken back.
Some background...he is 28, 3 years younger than me. He was always the kid at school which caused trouble at school, had a serious problem with authority. Many run ins from the law even at young teenage age. He was taking and dealing drugs by the time he was 15. All of this compacted by the fact my parents were going through an incredibly rough and long drawn out divorce so he was left to run riot to his own liking.
After he finished school, he had little interest in holding down a job. Wanted all the money to do whatever he wanted. Didn't want to work for it. Would work 3 weeks, demand some kind of promotion when walk out whilst flipping off the manager, that kind of behaviour.
When he got a car and a license he began drug running for years and was also well into taking whatever they would give him. Including being fully hooked on Heroin for a long time. We all knew what was going on, did what we could to manage and separate ourselves from it. Police claimed they were unable to do anything at the time.
To give you an example of some of his kind of behaviours, he was kicked out of my Mums place when gang members had come around breaking windows to threaten him as he had taken some of the supply and she refused to talk to him. During this weekend he rang me 50+ times (and that isn't an exaggeration, I noted it all down) and he was threatening to come to mine and all the rest of it, I had to get a restraining order against him etc.
Anyway, fast forward a few years of this **** like hell he put us all through, and finally karma gets him and he is arrested by the police with possession of a firearm, drug trafficking, and GBH. Given an 8 year sentence and we all breathed a sigh of relief.
Quite simply put, this time he was inside, was the most peaceful time for all of us. We were all happy about it. Could actually lead some kind of a normal life as well.
While he was inside, the system seemed to do something. They got him clean, he seemed to straighten out a bit. And he served 4 out of 8 years then was released in November on probation.
Dad took him in (Dad has since remarried) gave him a job at his company, a car and a hobby (model power boating, more on that in a moment) - literally a complete fresh start, probably the best that anyone could be offered in that instance.
Everything was fine for a few months. Dad was taking him boating literally every weekend (his thought was if he was keeping him occupied outside of work he wouldn't go back to his old habits and people he used to hang out with)
He kept the job for 3 months, then started turning up late, started telling others he could do what he wanted as his Dad owned the place etc. Started disappearing off for hours at a time and nobody knew where he was, we all knew the signs. We were sure he was up to no good again.
It got to early May when behaviour with him just kept on deteriorating both inside and outside of work (the boating continued as a last hope) but his behaviour was becoming increasingly erratic. Say the wrong word to him and the next thing you know and he is shaking with anger and threatening to kill you, like some kind of light switch in his head had been turned.
Anyway, still in early May, Dad fires him. Gives him his notice and says he needs to find work elsewhere. As his behaviour wasn't acceptable. The following 2 weeks he continued with more erratic behaviour. At this point he just gets ignored because we're all frankly, fed up with him. Then on May 21st Dad gets a phone call. Brother has crashed his car (completely written it off) and the police attended the seen, he has failed a drug test on the side of the road, so was being taken to the hospital to have blood taken from him. He tested positive for cocaine in his system (by the test on the side of the road)
Now this is where the real problems began. So from here, he is still out on probation, and he has just been found to be driving under the influence of drugs. The family were told that once the hospital process the blood test results, if he tests positives for drugs in the system, the police would turn up and take him without notice. This has sent his anxiety off into overdrive.
Constantly repeating himself, saying he is on a "time limit" and wanting to take his boat sailing at every single opportunity to a point where it has turned into an obsession as he is convinced each day is the last day he will get to do it.
What also came to light is that he has been put on prescribed methadone to whine him off whatever he was taking before + anti anxiety medication he has also been ordering various meds online and been self medicating. So really its not a wonder he is all over the place all the time.
As far as I am concerned, he 6ft 4, 20 stone ticking timebomb. Say the wrong thing to him and the mist will descend, then he will do something you can't take back. I am genuinely concerned for those in close proximity to him. My parents are at a complete loss of what to do and he is completely out of control. Part of the issue is also my Dad is away for work constantly right now, so he is worried about my step mum and her kids in case he snaps.
Anyway, thats the LONG context of where we are right now.
I feel like I need to do something here. Parents are at a loss on what to do with him. A completely exhausted loss and they're waiting for the drug test results to come through and him be carted off in a meat wagon. And the other thing is, what if he gets away with it, somehow? They don't know what to do.
So I turn to the collective of OcUK. What authorities can be contacted? Maybe I have seen too many movies, but IMO he needs to be forced into rehab and a forced detox. As he is just way too unstable with all the crap he is constantly putting through his body right now. Its a wonder he has not had a heart attack.
I have genuine cause for concern for those around him. I know he admitted to me in confidence he attempted to take his own life (I don't actually believe him) - but I wondered if that could be used to classify him as a danger to himself to get some more serious measures taken. He is a danger to the public IMO.
I also wonder if anyone who might know more (I know there is a Bobby or two on the forum) - if there is an official time limit for how long the hospital & police can take to get back to us with the results of the blood test?
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Any thoughts or advice are welcome.
Jake