XMP isnt a manual setting, its auto setting it for you.
Go into bios, find the memory timing place and set them @ the rated timings, set the voltages correctly and also set the ram speed to 1600 (set AI overclock to "manual" to un-grey the option)
All ram has built in "safe" SPD values so that it will be able to boot in any motherboard, if they have higher ones, it will fail to boot in certain boards. You have always had to set your timings/volts/speed manually if its performance ram, it is not the motherboards fault. Its the JEDEC specification limitations. XMP and SPP are just the same, but recognized by either Intel or nvidia chipsets, and mean if you enable it, it picks up the higher performance settings programmed into the memory.