Not another relationship thread. What to do ?

waveydave79 said:
Once I make the final decision to end thing it will be easier, but I know up until then she is going to make my life a living hell.
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You've already made the decision. This is a decision that requires logic, not love. Love her all you want, but recognise that as a couple you're not functioning correctly and likely making each other worse.

If I was you, I'd make a list of the good and the bad things, be honest too, all those little things that annoy you, nevermind the giant red flags you've told us here. Use that list to remind yourself of why you don't want to be with her, why she isn't giving anything back, and that you can't save her. It's harsh, but both of your lives will be bettered in the long run.

Sooner rather than later, for both your sakes.
 
I really feel for you. Been in a similar relationship myself and it was a living hell.

Unfortunately the advice so far seems to be pretty spot on. Leaving would likely be the best thing in the long run.

Best of luck to you.
 
Although everyone in here is being very helpful (humourous comments aside) and giving their opinion and advice, I think you have come on here to confirm what you already know.

The fact is, this relationship cannot be salvaged. I certainly would not want to be with someone who wants it to be a one way street. From what you have described, she has a lot of issues.

I appreciate you want it to work and sometimes one puts the other on a pedestal, like it's meant to be no matter what. Your not rationalising things. It isn't going to work so walk away, with your head held high.

You will find someone else and one day, you will look back and be a happy man.

Good luck.
 
sparky05084 said:
Although everyone in here is being very helpful (humourous comments aside) and giving their opinion and advice, I think you have come on here to confirm what you already know....The fact is, this relationship cannot be salvaged. .
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Sparky nailed it, this is spot on.

Get out of this relationship dude, Im no expert but going by what you've posted youre her doormat. She knows she can throw the mother of all hissy-fits....but you'll always go back.

...or will you? You have tried repeatedly to get a "normal" relationship with her...

...how much more of YOUR life are you going to give to this person?????

Its tough when you really like someone AND when you know that they are a serious PITA. No one deserves this kinda treatment. Its a cliched line but I'll say it because honestly..its true: you deserve better.
 
Google "toxic friend", read the symptoms of a toxic friend then when you realise how much of that seems familiar think how the relationship is making you feel.

For gods sake don't get a dog, huge amount of hard work and unfair for the dog when it all goes wrong again.
 
waveydave79 said:
[..]
Also in addition, when we got back together she asked me not to see any or goto places related to my past, It seems that I have lost all control, she talks to me on her terms, and I am finding this scary.
[..]
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You should.

That's as much of a warning sign as a big flashing red light, a deafening siren and a voice shouting EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! LEAVE THE AREA IMMEDIATELY!

Looking for some sensible advise please
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Leave immediately.

Seriously. Go now.

Irrational behaviour? Yes.
Bouts of anger? Yes.
Controlling behaviour? Yes.
Cutting you off from your past life and other influences? Yes.

Too many signs of an abusive relationship. The last one is especially worrying.
 
swillsy said:
Smash it one last time and run.
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No, don't. Really. No sex before breaking up (which is dishonest anyway). No post-breakup sex, no "oh dear, we shouldn't really have done that" sex.

You really, really don't want to have a kid under those circumstances. Nor do you want to be accused of rape. Maybe neither is likely, but (a) you can't know beforehand and (b) do a cost/risk/benefit analysis on it. The potential cost is life-ruining, you can't really assess the risk and the benefit is negligable.
 
So many red flags, just so many. You need to finish with this women because you sound miserable and she sounds controlling and slightly unhinged. Get out and sever contact. Meet a new girl when you're ready to get your dating game back on.
 
Walk away.

I married my childhood sweetheart after 10'years apart - we're different people now, with different aspirations. But it's like I married my best friend - with a relationship built on trust, respect and communication.

You sound young enough to be able to pick things up later down the road if needs be, giving the both of you a chance to experiemce what a "real relationship" is like.

Best of luck!
 
Be honest with her. Tell her how her actions affect you and she shouldn't be trying to control your life. If you love her tell her that but this can't go on.

If she doesn't know she can't change.

However if she does know and isn't willing to compromise or change, dump that bitch!
 
I know it's hard to see it now, and I understand you want to be with her, but just go. Leave her. It's not worth it. You sound like a nice chap, and she sounds like a psychobitchfromhell - walk away. Be nice about it of course, but you need a bilateral relationship.
 
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