Now it's my turn - Can't find our tin opener, what to do?

[Feek]

Going to make some corned beef sarnies for lunch and there's no key.

I can't find our tin opener

(Mrs. Feek will know where it is and when she gets home, I'm sure she'll tell me)

 

[Feek]

(Pair of thin noise pliers and twist the tab like the key would)

Genuinely didn't think of that.

Tinned corned beef?

Yup, nowt wrong with tinned corned beef.

Feek knows how to get in that tin.

I do now!

everyone unwinds a key occassionally to keep some spares too ?

I can't say I've ever done that. We don't keep multiple tins of corned beef, just one is ordered from time to time. I'll be unwinding the next one and keeping it as a spare though.

Pliers did it, I'm in now and enjoying my lunch.

 

[Feek]

44 Magnum ought to make short work of it.

You're right of course.

I can do .44 or .357 but unfortunately, the meat might be inedible afterwards.

(yes, the .357 has my name on it. My logic is that if I've got the bullet with my name on it, nobody else has)

You got to be joking me.

Seriously didn't think of it. First thought was a tin opener and then when I couldn't find one, minor panic set in

also how could you not think of anything of this i thought you were a radio/tinker/normal man

I know, right. See above. With hindsight, I've got plenty of tools I could have used and I think that either one or both of my Leathermans might even have a tin opener.

I could even have mixed some thermite but that might have been overkill.

 

[Feek]

In seeded bread

Always seedy home baked bread.

 

[Feek]

Corned beef and cheese toasties are pretty damn good too. They will melt your mouth off though as they're hotter than the surface of the sun.

 

[Feek]

To be fair, OP didn't say he lost it. He said he can't find it, suggesting it's still believed to be around (and thus not actually lost) but certainly not where it should be... and he also said 'our', which implies other people are involved in the disappearance, and thus opens up magnitudes of possibilities.

I also said (in very small text) that Mrs. Feek would know exactly where it was and I was right. When she got home and I asked about said tin opener, she pointed me in the right direction. I was looking in the drawer it used to be in, not the drawer that she moved it to without mentioning it.

 

[Feek]

I cannot even imagine what goes into the tinned variety.

LMGTFY
Cooked Beef (94%), Beef (3%), Salt, Sugar, Preservative: Sodium Nitrate.

Just because you don't like it, it doesn't make it "literally crap"

 

[Feek]

I finished off the corned beef in my sarnies today.

 

[Feek]

Corned beef sandwiches are lovely.

Mine today were in freshly baked seedy bloomer bread which came out of the oven just before 11:00.

I might have spam sandwiches tomorrow.

 

[Feek]

You're as old as me and therefore been camping a lot over the fields and you know the answer.

I hate camping, you'd never get me in a tent. That's a generic 'you', not just specifically you.

I didn't have spam sarnies today, I was busy at breakfast time and around mid morning, Mrs. Feek surprised me with some sausage sandwiches so I skipped lunch.

 

[Feek]

I've never heard the word 'skelf' before so had to look it up.

Quite appropriate

 

[Feek]

And now I really, really want a proper chip shop spam fritter, which in my area is hard to find even outside of covid times.

Our local chippy does them, cooked to order and it's less than five minutes walk away.