OcUK Dadsnet thread

Rexxar said:
Any of you guys a single parent? Interested to hear how you find it
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I am.

Single father with 15 and 4 year old girls. Their mum died of cancer just before the youngest turned 1. Developed soon after becoming pregnant and was a fairly traumatic time.

It took me a long time to be able to manage the little one on my own. The eldest rolled with it all amazingly well given she understood what was happening.

Things are pretty good now though and I'm managing well.

The youngest is now in full time school and I'm not sure it's age or school but the questions have started. She asked me straight out one afternoon "Did my mummy die when I was born?" I didn't know what to say. In the end I told her the truth but she's not really old enough to comprehend the meaning - I did make sure she understood it wasn't when she was born so she wouldn't think it was her fault.

I'd originally said mummy was a star in the sky (Wasn't keen on it but was suggestion and just went with it) but a few days ago she asked me when mummy was coming out of the sky and I just said it doesn't work like that. She doesn't seem too phased by it though.
 
Devrij;29847280 said:
I thought it would be nice to have a thread where expecting dads, new parents or really bloody old parents alike could ask questions and share experiences of parenting or ways to save cash etc, as well as just moan about being exhausted and skint.

Are you trying to work out whether you really need that nose mucous bulb thing? Are you over the moon that your daughter just gave you her first proper smile and you just want to tell everyone in the world about it? Has your son finally gotten big enough to worry about him punching you back :p This is the thread for you.

I currently have my little girl asleep next to me, and yes I'm in that evangelical new dad phase where you get to see how cute she is whether you wanted to or not. It's crazy how quickly they start growing!
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We use sterimar baby nasal spray
 
Vita;30451287 said:
Just seen this. Big big congratulations brother glad it turned out well for you. Enjoy the sleepless nights now. :D
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3 months yesterday and still don't mind being woken up in the morning by her and her cheeky grin. Still loving it, wonder how long this will last?

She has just started to properly laugh recently as well. And I'm talking proper cackles! Cracks me up everytime. :D
 
My little one just turned 6 months. She's now developed a clingyness to her mum which is causing some serious headaches. There was a point a few weeks ago where her mum would put her down to go to the bathroom only for the spawn to start screaming immediately. Thankfully that phase seems to be passing and she's starting to get better with it all.

Unfortunately along with the clingyness, she's started to refuse bottles from me. I had a 2 and a half hour standoff with her yeaterday (which was the last thing I needed after a 15mile cross country MTB race). I sent her mum round a friends house just before 1530 and the little one screamed non stop untill 1800 when I had to fight for 20 minutes to give her a bottle to settle her for the night. Eventually she took the milk and went to sleep which gave me about an hour of peace a quiet before the wife came home.

I think its going to have to be a case of persisting until she gets through this phase :(
 
skaif;30485536 said:
3 months yesterday and still don't mind being woken up in the morning by her and her cheeky grin. Still loving it, wonder how long this will last?

She has just started to properly laugh recently as well. And I'm talking proper cackles! Cracks me up everytime. :D
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It lasts :) 10 months in now and I still feel the same. You keep getting new developments to surprise you. The other day my daughter woke up in bed next to me, gave me a big sleepy smile and started clapping and said "dada". I ******* melted.

Noakesy85;30485573 said:
My little one just turned 6 months. She's now developed a clingyness to her mum which is causing some serious headaches. There was a point a few weeks ago where her mum would put her down to go to the bathroom only for the spawn to start screaming immediately. Thankfully that phase seems to be passing and she's starting to get better with it all.

Unfortunately along with the clingyness, she's started to refuse bottles from me. I had a 2 and a half hour standoff with her yeaterday (which was the last thing I needed after a 15mile cross country MTB race). I sent her mum round a friends house just before 1530 and the little one screamed non stop untill 1800 when I had to fight for 20 minutes to give her a bottle to settle her for the night. Eventually she took the milk and went to sleep which gave me about an hour of peace a quiet before the wife came home.

I think its going to have to be a case of persisting until she gets through this phase :(
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We've had this as well. Ours is terrible if my missus is in the room but thankfully if she leaves then she's fine with me.
 
EddScott;30451582 said:
I am.

Single father with 15 and 4 year old girls. Their mum died of cancer just before the youngest turned 1. Developed soon after becoming pregnant and was a fairly traumatic time.

It took me a long time to be able to manage the little one on my own. The eldest rolled with it all amazingly well given she understood what was happening.

Things are pretty good now though and I'm managing well.

The youngest is now in full time school and I'm not sure it's age or school but the questions have started. She asked me straight out one afternoon "Did my mummy die when I was born?" I didn't know what to say. In the end I told her the truth but she's not really old enough to comprehend the meaning - I did make sure she understood it wasn't when she was born so she wouldn't think it was her fault.

I'd originally said mummy was a star in the sky (Wasn't keen on it but was suggestion and just went with it) but a few days ago she asked me when mummy was coming out of the sky and I just said it doesn't work like that. She doesn't seem too phased by it though.
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My hat goes off to you sir. From a father of two myself !!
 
Thank you all for the kind words.

When you find yourself in the position of losing a partner and bringing up children on your own, it's surprising how not uncommon it actually is.


Noakesy85;30485573 said:
She's now developed a clingyness to her mum which is causing some serious headaches.
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Don't they all go through this at some point - more or less?

I was told it's a throw back from "Stranger danger" when we lived in caves and children cried when parents went off to hunt. Pretty sure I was told that by someone in healthcare so seemed plausible. Could be complete guff too :)
 
EddScott;30489500 said:
Thank you all for the kind words.

When you find yourself in the position of losing a partner and bringing up children on your own, it's surprising how not uncommon it actually is.




Don't they all go through this at some point - more or less?

I was told it's a throw back from "Stranger danger" when we lived in caves and children cried when parents went off to hunt. Pretty sure I was told that by someone in healthcare so seemed plausible. Could be complete guff too :)
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A friend of mines husband just died leaving two children behind, so incredibly sad. My mother died when i was 11, similar age to your eldest, its not something that hit me immediately but around 17 / 18 it just hit me like a tonne of bricks, never really got over it.

My children are 2 and 3, both girls. Not sure how i would cope without their mum around so well done sir and keep it up.
 
Ok guys my 2 year old is now moving his toddler bed next to his chest of drawers, it's a Malm 3 drawer from Ikea. He moves it next to the drawers and proceeds to climb on the drawer unit. I have told him off and what not telling him NO and generally doing what parents don't do in public, (slap on legs etc) yet he still continues to do it. Anyone had this and what would you suggest to? To be fair i would imagine it's the terrible twos but I swear he went through thats at 1 year old.
 
Talk to me about car seats for a newborn. What do you all recommend? Car doesn't have ISOFIX. We were thinking of a base which was fastened into the car using the seatbelt so we could lift the chair in and out?
 
kinobestew123 said:
Talk to me about car seats for a newborn. What do you all recommend? Car doesn't have ISOFIX. We were thinking of a base which was fastened into the car using the seatbelt so we could lift the chair in and out?
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Can't remember if they were for new born but I wouldn't recommend Recaro seats. I bought two and very quickly the plastic cover over the spring/metal latch became bent and the latch wouldn't engage properly. Both seats did this.

I would just make sure you get one that has a secure latching mechanism and one that allows you to tilt the seat back - so as to stop the head rolling forward and squashing windpipe - I didn't even know this was a thing until it was in the press.
 
Droolinggimp said:
Ok guys my 2 year old is now moving his toddler bed next to his chest of drawers, it's a Malm 3 drawer from Ikea. He moves it next to the drawers and proceeds to climb on the drawer unit. I have told him off and what not telling him NO and generally doing what parents don't do in public, (slap on legs etc) yet he still continues to do it. Anyone had this and what would you suggest to? To be fair i would imagine it's the terrible twos but I swear he went through thats at 1 year old.
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Just keep repeating your punishments (although as a side note, I would never use physical punishment to deal with bad behaviour like climbing on furniture). We use a naughty-step for bad behaviour. Option b) make the furniture immovable.
 
EddScott said:
Can't remember if they were for new born but I wouldn't recommend Recaro seats. I bought two and very quickly the plastic cover over the spring/metal latch became bent and the latch wouldn't engage properly. Both seats did this.

I would just make sure you get one that has a secure latching mechanism and one that allows you to tilt the seat back - so as to stop the head rolling forward and squashing windpipe - I didn't even know this was a thing until it was in the press.
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I didnt think rear facing seats were adjustable?
 
kinobestew123 said:
Talk to me about car seats for a newborn. What do you all recommend? Car doesn't have ISOFIX. We were thinking of a base which was fastened into the car using the seatbelt so we could lift the chair in and out?
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http://www.britaxemea.com/car-seats/baby-safe-sleeper/

By far the safest thing for a newborn. Highly recommended, but it takes up two rear seats.

Droolinggimp said:
Ok guys my 2 year old is now moving his toddler bed next to his chest of drawers, it's a Malm 3 drawer from Ikea. He moves it next to the drawers and proceeds to climb on the drawer unit. I have told him off and what not telling him NO and generally doing what parents don't do in public, (slap on legs etc) yet he still continues to do it. Anyone had this and what would you suggest to? To be fair i would imagine it's the terrible twos but I swear he went through thats at 1 year old.
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Don't hit him, that won't achieve anything :(
Just keep repeating no without raising your voice. Try and remain calm. If he won't stop, remove the offending piece of furniture.
 
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