OcUK Dadsnet thread

[james.miller]

Just had the 12 week scan for our 2nd. Was so excited, you tend to only think about seeing your baby and getting a nice picture to take away

But we were told there was a high NT measurement, 5cm when the cause for concern starts at 3.5. This means the baby is at higher risk of things like Downs or heart defects among other things. The risk only goes up the higher above 3.5 you go. Obviously, it can mean nothing and there's also many normal reasons it could be high. I've stupidly been on Google all morning now which as you'd expect has only made things worse

We've had the bloods taken which will give us a clearer indication. But I'm going to pay for a private NIPT which is 99% accurate.

I'm just so deflated I know it could well be fine, but I just can't help think the worst

Try not to worry steedie. Have they given you a risk factor ? Even if it's 1 in 5 that's still 4 out of 5 children born without it. We had similar concerns with our youngest and a high NT measurement and they said he had something like a 1 in 800 chance of having downs. Turns out he didn't, so it was just the missing kidney we discovered at the 16 week scan to contend with. I can laugh about the kidney now but at the time it was nerve wracking. We had no idea what it meant, if there would be further complications and if surgery would be required etc. But nope, all fine in the end. He had a course of steroids after birth and a few regular checkups but all clear after that

 

[robj20]

George has his Physio and Occupational Therapy tonight. Made a few improvements since last time, will sit up unaided now. Relaxes his right hand now now but still refuses to use it.

 

[Thekwango]

I wonder if there would be much interest in a separate thread for Georges story.

absolutely, 100%

George has his Physio and Occupational Therapy tonight. Made a few improvements since last time, will sit up unaided now. Relaxes his right hand now now but still refuses to use it.

glad to hear George is making improvements. have you done anything more with the legal side of things?

 

[Devrij]

On a positive note, my daughter did her first **** in the toilet yesterday. Told me not to come in and I heard her grunting away. She did a second man sized log 15 mins later so she must have been pretty backed up.

The reaction in our house would have led you to believe England had won the world cup.

 

[robj20]

absolutely, 100%


glad to hear George is making improvements. have you done anything more with the legal side of things?

No the wife isn't too keen on it to be honest. She doesn't like reliving it, apparently you have 3 years to do it so plenty of time.

 

[Steedie]

Try not to worry steedie. Have they given you a risk factor ? Even if it's 1 in 5 that's still 4 out of 5 children born without it. We had similar concerns with our youngest and a high NT measurement and they said he had something like a 1 in 800 chance of having downs. Turns out he didn't, so it was just the missing kidney we discovered at the 16 week scan to contend with. I can laugh about the kidney now but at the time it was nerve wracking. We had no idea what it meant, if there would be further complications and if surgery would be required etc. But nope, all fine in the end. He had a course of steroids after birth and a few regular checkups but all clear after that

Thanks mate.

Trying not to worry but it's hard until we get the results back, which will give us the risk factor

Glad to hear your little man was ok after the scare!

 

[Oxide™]

currently 27 weeks with our first child - bricking it is an understatement

How did you guys do during the 2 weeks paternity, any tips?

 

[Karl]

Cue Karl's stream of consciousness:

We've got 2 boys, one's 4 months and one's 3 years old. We're capping it at 2 kids (so help me god) and have started thinking about selling some of the tiny clothes (0-3 months, 3-6 months).

When kids are born generally people go utterly mental and spend hundreds of pounds on clothes that they are in for minutes before growing out of them, so let me know if anybody's after some cheap clothes.

The eldest has unapologetically started rising before 7am (before his little sun clock tells him he can get up), which means I now can't go to the gym anymore (I was going at 5.45am, can't even go then!) which is bringing me down a bit, but they are bloody cute. I just keep reminding myself that this first year of having the baby is the one where you can't go anywhere or do anything, then it gets back to normal.

Another thought. Having kids in winter should be banned. Cold, dark mornings that are pitch black and miserable. We had our first in September and our second in November. If I could time it again, I'd have had summer babies!

currently 27 weeks with our first child - bricking it is an understatement

How did you guys do during the 2 weeks paternity, any tips?

I spent the whole thing doing all the house work. Dishwasher, cooking, cleaning, washing (oh Jesus, the washing!) and looking after the eldest, but left mum to do the feeding and general kiddicare of the baby.

Some women would be happy with that balance, others would insist on splitting feeding as well if you're bottle feeding, you just have to go with what they want really.

 

[Thekwango]

No the wife isn't too keen on it to be honest. She doesn't like reliving it, apparently you have 3 years to do it so plenty of time.

understandable. we had an issue (retained placenta after a c section, coupled with multiple denials) when our first was born nearly 4 years ago and another doctor actually advised us to go down the route of medical negligence but as our little one turned out fine and the wife, like yours, didn't wan't to relive it all we just let it go in the end.

hoping little George continues to improve and do please keep us updated even if you don't want to create a specific thread for him.

 

[Pookie Bear]

We're at 26 weeks with our first - and it's twins. My wife has been through hell already, so not looking forward to the next couple months.

 

[Thekwango]

How did you guys do during the 2 weeks paternity, any tips?

what i did for our first was take over the night shift completely for the first few days/week to let the wife get a few decent nights kip under her belt. we were bottle feeding as the wife was too sore and sick to breast feed so it was relatively easy for me. but even if your other half is breast feeding she could probably express enough for a couple of night feeds.
i went as far as taking the newborns 'moses' basket downstairs and i spent the night feeding & changing her while trying to steal a few zzz's and watching netflix. always grabbed a couple of hours decent kip after the wife got up and got herself ready for the day. screwed my body clock up a bit but was worth it.

genuinely was the best thing i could have done for her. even now she still mentions how grateful she is and how much it helped her recover.

 

[Karl]

We're at 26 weeks with our first - and it's twins. My wife has been through hell already, so not looking forward to the next couple months.

Hang in there mate. If the wife intended on having two kids, at least you're getting the first year over and done with!!

genuinely was the best thing i could have done for her. even now she still mentions how grateful she is and how much it helped her recover.

It's really lovely that she remembers and reminds you of that regularly.

 

[Thekwango]

It's really lovely that she remembers and reminds you of that regularly.

it certainly beats her reminding me of the night i got just a little bit tipsy after 'wetting the babies head' fell in the hedge and had to be rescued by the taxi driver!!!

 

[Pookie Bear]

Hang in there mate. If the wife intended on having two kids, at least you're getting the first year over and done with!!

Thanks!

Yeah, two at the same time might be tougher on her at this stage, but there's a lot of things that only need to happen once now

 

[Devrij]

currently 27 weeks with our first child - bricking it is an understatement

How did you guys do during the 2 weeks paternity, any tips?

As others have said, it's just about helping out as much as you can, it will be worth it.

We're at 26 weeks with our first - and it's twins. My wife has been through hell already, so not looking forward to the next couple months.

Good luck. That's all I can say! You might enjoy "diaries of a learner parent". Scouse comedian who had twins and shares his stories. Very funny and a bit of light humour to help yuu through the more trying times!

 

[TBirdUK]

For those with paternity leave, and an understanding work, I took 2 weeks straight after the birth, then used a weeks leave to do 2 weeks worth of half days - worked really well with both kids, eased me back into work and gave the Mrs some respite with the half days, so no straight back into normal (if you can call it) life.

I would recommend this to anyone.

 

[Abraxaz1]

I messed up my paternity, missus went into labour on the Friday, baby was born Monday night...
I triggered my paternity on the Monday, cue complications and my missus spending a week 8n hospital, so my first week was me sitting in a hospital.

Spent the second week doing everything in the house and tak8ng the baby so my missus can sleep.

Try not to trigger paternity until you have the baby home.

 

[Kreeeee]

.

 

[Syla5]

Thanks mate.

Trying not to worry but it's hard until we get the results back, which will give us the risk factor

Glad to hear your little man was ok after the scare!

Obviously an impossible thing not to worry about but keep it in the forefront of your mind that they will be giving you the worst case scenario here.

They aren't doing it to scare or worry you but to prepare you for what may come, given a small chance.

A difficult time no less.

 

[Karl]

For those with paternity leave, and an understanding work, I took 2 weeks straight after the birth, then used a weeks leave to do 2 weeks worth of half days - worked really well with both kids, eased me back into work and gave the Mrs some respite with the half days, so no straight back into normal (if you can call it) life.

I would recommend this to anyone.

I took a month for each kid, and I think my wife would've struggled a lot more with just the two weeks. Two weeks were pat pay, and two weeks were unpaid leave.