On Sick leave.....boss wants to meet for a drink!

[Spike_UK]

I'm currently on sick leave at the moment.

Rather than repeat myself, the full details are here: http://forums.overclockers.co.uk/showthread.php?t=17536832

To cut a long story short though, I get panic attacks when anxious or uncomfortable which usually revolve around eating of digestive symptoms (burping, indigestion). I've been on medication from the doctors for almost two months and have made som eimprovement, but I'm still finding things quite difficult. I managed to go back to work for about 4 weeks before having a blip and needing time off again to get myself back to normal.....that's where I am now.

I'm not back to normal yet, and it's taking longer than i'd like so i'm going to the Doctors on Monday to see if he can bump up my medication.

BUT! This morning, I recevied a phone call from my boss asking me how I was. I was open and honest and told him the truth that I'm still not back to full strength but I'm coping. He then invited me out for dinner with himself and his wife (who also works with us). Obviously I declined as eating out socially is the whole part of my problem (which he knew and understood). He then said that he needs to talk to me and could we go for a drink. I agreed and arranged a time and location to have a drink.

Having had that conversation I had a panic attack. I'm worried about the conversation now!!

I've been sacked out of the blue before (part of the joys of agency work aparently ) and this whole schenario just worries me.

My other half thinks that it'll be nothing more than a supportive conversation offering ideas and suggestions that will make work easier, things like working from home or doing half hours, and that anything official like a verbal warning or being let go should be done on work premises.

I'm still not convinced....

I'm picking at my lunch now, not wanted to be uncomfortable for the drink on afew hours.

It's heartbreaking to be in this position as it's the first time I've had a job I enjoy!

 

[Spike_UK]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm a bit calmer now than i was when I made the first post. I'm still anxious though.

When i got let go while as Agency staff (cost cutting measure, I was too expensive, they got two people with my wage), it really left me with a lack of trust towards my the person employing me.

have you tried a hypnotist?? I had a friend that had terrible panic attacks but hypnosis really really helped!

I have tried counselling, which helped me understand why I act the way I do and what triggers thing, but I didn't help the root cause. I then tried a few hypnotherapy sessions and at first made good progress, but then I started getting Panic Attacks DURING the Hypnosis...I don't think I ever let myself go fully under.

Now that I'm slightly more in control Hypnosis is something I'm looking to investigate again.

 

[Spike_UK]

He's a nice guy, he's the sort of boss where (if i was feeling better) I would be comfortable going for a drink with.

I lend him my PSP games etc...

 

[Spike_UK]

OK, time for a update, I'm sure some of you might be wondering...

It went well. Better than well to be honest. As wet as it sounds, I walked away from that conversation feeling that I had just had a night out with two friends rather than my boss and his wife. For someone in my position i couldn't have asked for a more supportive boss. For a little insight, my boss's wife is his boss's secretary, so she deals with all my sick notes.

Basically he has said that he doesn't want to lose me from his team and will be as flexable as needed to make my rehabilitation into work as painless as possible.

Several solutions were mentioned, some of them I had thought of and others I would never have considered I would be able to do. He talked about the possibility of me working half days for two-three days a week, setting up a VPN so i can work from home some days, being able to be flexable with my working hours so i can start at 6:30am and finish at 2:30pm if i wanted and finally if it comes to it I can take every wednesday off so I never work more than two days without a break.

For the rest of the time we just had a laugh and a joke about loads of things. It turns out he has also had problems in the past with Exma (sp?) which was brought on by stress, so he knows exactly how these things work. He managed to stop the Exma, but now lives in fear of it returning as he doesn't know how he cured it the first time.

I'm living that now. I developed this problem 5 years ago, but was clear of it for a year. It's reared its head again in the last 9 months and I have no idea what I did the first time to get rid of it...

Anyway! After we got kicked out of Starbucks as they were about to close, I walked away from the conversation with a renewed sense of excitement towards a) getting myself better and b) getting back to work.

Really glad this chat happened and I'm also really glad i didn't jump in with two feet and let a good job (and such a good employer) go to waste.

Thanks for all your replies and support....I can now go a play World of Warcraft without worring