Out of the Mouths of Babes

callmeBadger · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:05

As title suggest, what is the most laughable thing your partner has ever said?

Example, on a flight to the Med last summer, I start reading the flight book thing about the plane at the back of the magazine. (now the numbers aren't exactly correct but her response is).

Me "did you know this plane has a maximum taxiing weight of 93500kg"
Me " look it says a maximum take of weight of 93000 kg, half a tone lost just taxxiing to the end of the runway".
Missus still didn't look to impressed.
me "ahh, the maximum landing weight is 78000kg, thats 15 tones we've used in a flight to the med."
Missus. "I dodn't know we would eat that much food"

Skunkworks · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:07

That's funny on at least two levels.

Arcade Fire · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:09

What's a tone? And how do you lose one?

Balders · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:09

We did have a thread similar to this some time back...

Worst (best?) one my missus has ever come out with was whilst watching opening scenes of Lord of the Rings, she says "did this actually happen in real life??"

Alex_L · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:10

i always remember my ex coming out with the following when she asked me about learning to drive:

'don't driving instructors cars have dual controls, so wheres the second steering wheel, as i can never see it in them?'

i tried explaining the principle of steering in a car, but just gave up.

and she was off to study law at a top university....

Bri · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:11

Looking at this picture on the Guinness website;

She spots the empty glasses inset & says, "Oh look, they do them in clear too"!

bottletop · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:12

mine made a comment about a particularly visible "camels tongue" on another woman one day. :rolleyes:

Enfield · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:14

You mean camel toe?

titchard · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:20

Enfield said:
You mean camel toe?

That is the joke...

Rich

NokkonWud · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:21

I believe camel tongue to be the point...

Skunkworks · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:23

My girlfriend wanted to know why the Oracle from The Matrix was named after a teletext service.

Sleepy · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:33

Enfield said:
You mean camel toe?

ROFL

Mat · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:34

When asked if there was a spoon that someone could use, my missus pointed at a small bag of sugared almonds on the table and said:

"Over there by the microspoons"

She gets messes things up like that all the time much to both our amusement.

Penski posted something his missus said once about looking for scissors which had made me PMSL but I cant remember it!

JollyGreen · 3 Mar 2006 at 16:35

Skunkworks said:
My girlfriend wanted to know why the Oracle from The Matrix was named after a teletext service.

Dump a big thick greek mythology tome in front of her and demand she reads it

kitten_caboodle · 3 Mar 2006 at 17:05

bottletop said:
mine made a comment about a particularly visible "camels tongue" on another woman one day.

pmsl!

ALLI · 3 Mar 2006 at 17:07

i like the way he used the phrase, "out of the mouths of babes"

how old is you missus? not going all glittery are you?

Psyk · 3 Mar 2006 at 18:01

ALLI said:
i like the way he used the phrase, "out of the mouths of babes"

how old is you missus? not going all glittery are you?

It's the name of the column in FHM that's the same idea as this thread.

I've just thought of one. Can't remember the exact wording though. I was talking to one of my flatmates about filesharing. She mentioned that she paid to use kazaa (stupid enough in itself). And I said why would you pay for something that's illegal anyway. Her reply was "Downloading from Kazaa isn't illegal is it?*". Guess what she's studying

*ok in itself it's not illegal but it was in the context of copyrighted stuff.

Pickers · 3 Mar 2006 at 18:21

Pheebs came out with
"I want to go the the theater to get more cultivated"
She comes out with them almost daily, but that one really stuck with me for some reason

Muban · 3 Mar 2006 at 20:02

Well I don't have an other half, so can I mock another forum member?

Going to the Swansea bash flying from Inverness.....

Brynn said:
Is Bristol in Wales?

ALLI · 3 Mar 2006 at 20:10

Psyk said:
It's the name of the column in FHM that's the same idea as this thread.

I've just thought of one. Can't remember the exact wording though. I was talking to one of my flatmates about filesharing. She mentioned that she paid to use kazaa (stupid enough in itself). And I said why would you pay for something that's illegal anyway. Her reply was "Downloading from Kazaa isn't illegal is it?*". Guess what she's studying

*ok in itself it's not illegal but it was in the context of copyrighted stuff.

ah thats why i didnt get it then. i dont read FHM. there's far too many pretty pictures and my brain can't cope with the little black squigly things people call "text"