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- Joined
- 26 Aug 2011
- Posts
- 202
I am curious to see what other parents are doing with regards to parental controls for their children.
In this modern world where the average teenager has access to many internet-enabled devices, I am finding it quite difficult to balance any parental controls I choose to apply. This is not only because of the massive variations in capability between devices but also the different parenting styles.
I feel like I've gone over the top a bit, but I still don't think that my 14 year old should be playing GTAV or watching shows like 'Narcos' or 'Sex Education'. Therefore I have applied a pin lock or some level of parental controls to just about everything that I can. This includes: Netflix, Amazon prime, mobile phones, xbox, smart tv, Sky TV. I know that he can just go to his mates houses and watch things but that's something I can live with. A lot of the time if he asks me to watch something which is 15 rated or whatever, I will check it out first and if the device lets me (most don't have this feature!) I will let him watch it, or watch with him.
Games are more contentious. The Xbox system is quite good as I can allow specific games. So he's got CODMW, but hasn't got GTAV, for example. It is just a constant battle though. Only a few years ago he pretty much only had games rated at 12, with a couple of 'pegi 16' games. This wasn't enough though and through many, many arguments and the softer parent making me give in, he has now got access to quite a few 18 rated titles. This still doesn't seem to be enough though and it's really frustrating to hash it out all the time about what he's allowed/isn't allowed. Not to mention what his friends allegedly can or can't do. And don't get me started on mobile phones. All I'll say is that Android does it better than Apple in this regard, by a long way.
I also spend a LOT of time talking to him about what he wants to play/watch/listen to. For me it's about making him understand that it's for his benefit and not to punish him. I also encourage him to be honest with me and ask questions, if he does comes across something "inappropriate". As a result of some open and honest communications, we have some good talks and I think it helps us both. Certain restrictions have been relaxed as well. He has even suggested tying it down a bit more as well so it works both ways. However there is definitely a bit of a trust issue developing as he gets older which I am keen to resolve, hence this post.
As a point of reference, I came of age in the early 90s. I had virtually unlimited access to the internet via dialup. However, this was a time when the internet was not even close to what it is now. Waiting 5 minutes for a picture to load, etc. Yet I still stumbled across loads of stuff that haunts me to this day either on my own or round a mate's house. I guess it didn't do me much harm overall but still, we all want to protect our kids don't we? My parents literally had no idea what I was doing on the computer.
My parents have also told me that it was a similar story in terms of parental controls and me wanting to do things the older kids were when I was growing up, but it's not the same as it is now. I wanted to watch horror movies, but unless I was able to procure a fake ID, look 10 years older and make my way to Blockbusters, or stay up late enough to catch a movie on TV in the one TV in the house, I was out of luck. Unless I could get a dodgy VHS off that one kid at school. Now it's all available instantly from the comfort of your bed.
Am I over protective? Where do I draw the line, or should I just drop all the parental control stuff and let him figure it out? I don't see that going well but I am interested in other parent's opinions.
In this modern world where the average teenager has access to many internet-enabled devices, I am finding it quite difficult to balance any parental controls I choose to apply. This is not only because of the massive variations in capability between devices but also the different parenting styles.
I feel like I've gone over the top a bit, but I still don't think that my 14 year old should be playing GTAV or watching shows like 'Narcos' or 'Sex Education'. Therefore I have applied a pin lock or some level of parental controls to just about everything that I can. This includes: Netflix, Amazon prime, mobile phones, xbox, smart tv, Sky TV. I know that he can just go to his mates houses and watch things but that's something I can live with. A lot of the time if he asks me to watch something which is 15 rated or whatever, I will check it out first and if the device lets me (most don't have this feature!) I will let him watch it, or watch with him.
Games are more contentious. The Xbox system is quite good as I can allow specific games. So he's got CODMW, but hasn't got GTAV, for example. It is just a constant battle though. Only a few years ago he pretty much only had games rated at 12, with a couple of 'pegi 16' games. This wasn't enough though and through many, many arguments and the softer parent making me give in, he has now got access to quite a few 18 rated titles. This still doesn't seem to be enough though and it's really frustrating to hash it out all the time about what he's allowed/isn't allowed. Not to mention what his friends allegedly can or can't do. And don't get me started on mobile phones. All I'll say is that Android does it better than Apple in this regard, by a long way.
I also spend a LOT of time talking to him about what he wants to play/watch/listen to. For me it's about making him understand that it's for his benefit and not to punish him. I also encourage him to be honest with me and ask questions, if he does comes across something "inappropriate". As a result of some open and honest communications, we have some good talks and I think it helps us both. Certain restrictions have been relaxed as well. He has even suggested tying it down a bit more as well so it works both ways. However there is definitely a bit of a trust issue developing as he gets older which I am keen to resolve, hence this post.
As a point of reference, I came of age in the early 90s. I had virtually unlimited access to the internet via dialup. However, this was a time when the internet was not even close to what it is now. Waiting 5 minutes for a picture to load, etc. Yet I still stumbled across loads of stuff that haunts me to this day either on my own or round a mate's house. I guess it didn't do me much harm overall but still, we all want to protect our kids don't we? My parents literally had no idea what I was doing on the computer.
My parents have also told me that it was a similar story in terms of parental controls and me wanting to do things the older kids were when I was growing up, but it's not the same as it is now. I wanted to watch horror movies, but unless I was able to procure a fake ID, look 10 years older and make my way to Blockbusters, or stay up late enough to catch a movie on TV in the one TV in the house, I was out of luck. Unless I could get a dodgy VHS off that one kid at school. Now it's all available instantly from the comfort of your bed.
Am I over protective? Where do I draw the line, or should I just drop all the parental control stuff and let him figure it out? I don't see that going well but I am interested in other parent's opinions.
