Parents !

[Stolly]

I've got school age kids...two of them....

I get them out of bed at 7 and have to literally whip them like dogs (not literally)to get them out of the door at 8:40.

Am i alone in finding this a pretty bloody stressful start to the day. We are always on time. but its at a high cost in stress levels all around. Having the kids upset before they've even got to school just doesn't sit well with me there has to be a better way....it can take 20 mins to brush hair...10 mins to put on a pair of bloody socks...

What do other people do ? TV on or off ? Breakfast in the living room or around the table ? Any strategies to positively incentivise the process rather than turning in a nagging machine....

 

[Stolly]

10 minutes for socks? Really?
Can you not put the socks on for them, since they seem so incapable of doing it in the 5 seconds it should take?

Well, thats the tricky part...They are old enough to want to get dressed independently and you have to let them do that because the other extreme is being a parent / servant to two spoilt princesses who expect to be waited on hand and foot. We are just in a middle phase where it takes bloody ages due to a 7 year olds attention span being not so good. With two you can be off helping one find something and come back to find the other spaced out with one sock on.

We agreed this morning to have a period of no TV to stop the distraction.

 

[Stolly]

How old are they? What late policy does the school have? Our daughter is 9 and is wholly responsible for getting herself ready. She knows the time she needs to be ready for and that it is up to her to be ready on time. If your kids are older and the school has a late sanction, give them the responsibility and they can deal with the consequences!

One of them is 9...and she would probably be OK with this...the younger one probably isn't there yet. The problem is i'd have to stay in the house with the 9 year old knowing she's got ready on time waiting for the younger one and its not then fair on the 9 year old. Neither of them are old enough to make their own way to school its a touch too far.

You have an interesting approach though...is she ever late ? Do you stand there knowing she's going to be late and let her get on with it ?

 

[Stolly]

It's your own doing if your daughters are princesses.

Are you sure you understood what i wrote.

 

[Stolly]

My girls (10 and 5) are generally pretty good. Up at 7:10, out the door 8:30. School days we do this:

- TV (and all other distractions like tablets) are banned.
- Get them to bed at a sensible time the night before. Hint: If they are tired in the morning, bed-time needs to be earlier.
- Breakfast is in the kitchen - and dressed for school, not in PJ's.


Non-school days. Ensure all the above rules are broken - it seems to balance out.

EDIT: The TV is your problem. It stays OFF - and that means for the adults as well.

Yeah...TV off...i think this is the right thing to be doing...thanks.

Bed times are already 7pm for the younger one (just turned 8) and 8 for the 9 and a half year old...they don't seem to be too tired...

 

[Stolly]

What time do they go to bed? They sound tired.

Ours are up around 0600 and raring to go

*Edit* Just read bed times above. Strange. They should be getting enough sleep.

Well, being kids, on a weekend it is 6am. On a weekday they have to be woken up at 7. Maybe its just mine who do that

 

[Stolly]

Never been a need, she has always been ready on time. Though sometimes a quick "leaving soon" is needed to remind her.

Crikey you have a star there.

 

[Stolly]

Mine get up about 7. 7-8 they can do what they want (tablet, TV, etc) but they have to have breakfast. At 8, everything goes off until they have everything ready for school (dressed, hair brushed, lunches packed and so on).

Saying that, mine worked out very quickly that we were leaving at 8.40 however ready they were

Are they tired maybe? Mine are 8 and 10 but still go to bed at 8, they just don't function in the morning if they go later.

Failing that, maybe a sticker chart? Stickers for hitting certain tasks at certain times, then they can cash in at the end of the week for a magazine/sweets/something?

Hmm dunno maybe they are tired...i'd struggle to get them asleep earlier..in bed maybe but the now 8 year old goes up before 7 (as early as 6:30) on school nights with the routine done by between 7 and 7:30 she sometimes is still awake an hour later at 8 or 8:30..in a dark room with no electronic distractions whatsoever...

 

[Stolly]

She is, but part of it is that we have always been fair and consistent with boundaries and parenting. No means no, both parents will back the other up, clear expectations, clear knowledge of responsibilities and punishments. All the usual stuff.

yep...i do do that...i have little control over what happens with their mother though unfortunately...

 

[Stolly]

Can I just ask (and no offence intended), but they are going to sleep when they go to bed aren't they? They aren't just in bed playing on consoles or tablets etc?

The youngest goes up first (they share a room) and no she doesn't always go to sleep right away...but she has no consoles or tablets. She plays with the teddies in her bed. Can't help thinking taking those away would be counter productive....she isn't being punished....

 

[Stolly]

Mate

Read you loud and clear. yes it can be stressful depending on what mood they're in in the first place. I have 3 girls all under 10. The eldest winds up the middle one, who whinges and cries at the drop of a hat. The youngest one is a mixture of the older two. I find myself shouting at them most days due to them mostly ignoring what I say to them. This morning I got them sat down to have breakfast and within 1 min they're bickering so I threatened if they carried on we'd be doing breakfast in shifts starting at 6.30 instead of 7.30. that shut them up. I've been a househusband for the last few years so I get them at 3pm and then its the long haul until 8-9pm at night. I am sure that time slows down. Wife's not usually home until 7.30-8.00, so they are normally bathed and in bed by the time she's back.

You need to destress or end up like me. I've been diagnosed with Barretts Oesophagus (one of the causes....stress). Dr say it occurred in the last 5-10 yrs....what a surprise, that's when the kids were born. Got to give up the booze too, so that's a nightmare as a beered chilled me out in the evening.

Good luck, you're not the only fed up parent out there.
Cheers
S

hah we already do toothbrushing etc in shifts because the bathroom apparently isn't big enough for the two of them...no TV is the way forward i'm sure.

I'll report back

 

[Stolly]

Update...

No TV today...eldest cracked on with things for the most part and was ready.

Youngest got ready quicker apart from the hair brushing...30 mins to brush hair....we may brush hair before bedtime next time i have them !