Paying for your own meal at a wedding?

OpenToSuggestions · 22 Aug 2015 at 16:40

Hey all.
I have been invited to a wedding in September. The invite was in June.
Today I get a message with bank details asking me to transfer money for the wedding meal.
Between them they earn around £60k.
My intent was to put some money in a wedding card.

Have you ever been asked to pay for your own wedding meal?

OpenToSuggestions · 22 Aug 2015 at 16:44

Glaucus said:
I don't see the issue with this. Unless it wasn't in the invite. What they earn isn't about how much spare money they have and that's not a large amount anyway.

The invite was only via instant message (everyone was asked this way).
No it was not in the invite.

You are right it is not about how much they earn, I am just thinking 'eh what?'.

OpenToSuggestions · 22 Aug 2015 at 16:56

The amount is £23. I imagine this will not include drinks!
They were in Paris together last weekend with photos of fancy restuarants.
Definately a genuine message.

If I pay it they will not be getting any money in the card at all.

Tempted to go to the ceremony, skip the meal.

OpenToSuggestions · 22 Aug 2015 at 17:05

We are 30 posts in and all GD posts seem someone reasonable!
Yeah I will not reply for a while and will have a think.

OpenToSuggestions · 23 Aug 2015 at 09:03

It will be a small affair.
They spend a fortune on holidays.

It isn't about the money, it is the cheek that has annoyed me. They are both still employed and have cheap rent from a relative. Being hard up is not the reason, it is ignorance.

Options are:
- Go to event, pay for meal before hand and give no wedding present.
- Skip the meal.

I'm still deciding my actions.

He used to be a close friend but he gets through women like socks and is only getting married so quickly because she's pregnant.
I wouldn't be too hurt if I just skipped the whole thing.

Obviously as this is GD I have taken a poo through my own letterbox just to be on the safe side.

OpenToSuggestions · 23 Aug 2015 at 15:26

neil_g said:
You were only going to spend £23 on a wedding gift? You tight sod.

I would have stuck £30 in the card.
I see the man in question 2-3 times per year.

OpenToSuggestions · 26 Aug 2015 at 13:35

Great to see my thread still going!

Got a bit derailed in the middle but now back on topic!

.

OpenToSuggestions · 31 Aug 2015 at 09:46

Hey all. Time for an update!

I've played the passive approach. Said the girlfriend has booked a surprise night away and not told me so I can only make the registery office.

OpenToSuggestions · 31 Aug 2015 at 10:16

There is a hidden motive....his mum is reference on a job I have been offered. I was given two days (not working days!) one Friday to submit online a personality reference who was not family related and has known me 5+ years. She provided her details quickly and was willing to help.
This is a job that will be really good. I am sure many read my posts on a rubbish job I was in around a year ago. My current place I don't think will last much past Christmas.

Whilst I am quite annoyed and am usually very blunt with my feelings (I don't dance around the subject) I feel I have nothing to gain here.

I could just poo through his letterbox though, as this is GD

.

OpenToSuggestions · 31 Aug 2015 at 10:26

Kenai said:
Until the whole plan unravels when your other half updates Facebook with "jus chillin with bae watchin x fac at home #quietone #eveningin"

The deadline for my checks is this coming Friday.
Wedding Sat.

Should be in the clear!

OpenToSuggestions · 5 Sep 2015 at 15:24

Wedding today.
Went to the registery office and that was it

.
Kept my 'happy smiling' face on.