Penguin jokes
- Thread starter fozzybear
- Start date
What happened to the frog that broke down?
He got toad away.
Two further facts from my penguin biscuit wrappers.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
and
Dreamt is the only English word that ends with mt.
God i'm bored.
He got toad away.
Two further facts from my penguin biscuit wrappers.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
and
Dreamt is the only English word that ends with mt.
God i'm bored.
Excellent.Here's some Christams Cracker jokes.
"What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
"An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth."
Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea? One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.
Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
Wi' Jammin
What does Bob Marley say to his friends when he buys doughnuts?
Hope you like Jammin too.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it.
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate.
What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?
You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all... you let yourself down.
What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.
"What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
"An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth."
Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea? One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.
Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
Wi' Jammin
What does Bob Marley say to his friends when he buys doughnuts?
Hope you like Jammin too.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it.
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate.
What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?
You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all... you let yourself down.
What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.
SiriusB said:
They're the kind of simple, easy to remember jokes that make me laugh.
Here's some more.
What do you get hanging from Father Christmas's roof?
Tired arms!
Where does Tarzan buy his clothes?
At a jungle sale
What do you call just married spiders?
Newly-webs.
Which bird always succeeds?
A budgie with no teeth.
What's purple and shouts "Help"?
A damson in distress.
Fraggr, what was the answer to your 'penguin wrapper' joke?
What's the best birthday present for a little boy?
Well a drum takes a lot of beating!
Why did the baby foal take throat lozenges?
Because he was a little horse.
Who was the biggest robber in history?
Atlas - he held up the world.
How's the little lad who swallowed the £1 coin, doctor?
No change yet, I'm afraid
Absoloute genius!
Well a drum takes a lot of beating!
Why did the baby foal take throat lozenges?
Because he was a little horse.
Who was the biggest robber in history?
Atlas - he held up the world.
How's the little lad who swallowed the £1 coin, doctor?
No change yet, I'm afraid
Absoloute genius!
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A gorilla goes in a pub and points to a pint, gives the barman a £10 note and he gets 5p change.
A bit later the barman says "You don't see many gorillas in here" to which the gorilla replied "I think not at £9.95 a pint".
A dog goes into a hardware shop and asks if they know anybody who has got a vacancy for a plumber. The assistant says "Shouldn't you try the circus?" to which the dog replied "What use have they got for a plumber?".
A bit later the barman says "You don't see many gorillas in here" to which the gorilla replied "I think not at £9.95 a pint".
A dog goes into a hardware shop and asks if they know anybody who has got a vacancy for a plumber. The assistant says "Shouldn't you try the circus?" to which the dog replied "What use have they got for a plumber?".
