Penguin jokes

What happened to the frog that broke down?

He got toad away.

:o

Two further facts from my penguin biscuit wrappers.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

and

Dreamt is the only English word that ends with mt.

God i'm bored. :p
 
fozzybear said:
;) Excellent.

Yeah... my mum used to buy a lot of penguins a while ago.

What do you get if you collect all your penguin wrappers and put them in the middle of your bedroom?
 
Here's some Christams Cracker jokes.

"What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

"An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth."

Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea? One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.

What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.

Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
Wi' Jammin
What does Bob Marley say to his friends when he buys doughnuts?
Hope you like Jammin too.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it.

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate.

What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?
You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all... you let yourself down.

What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.
 
frakker said:
A penguin goes into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I can't find my dad. Have you seen him?"

The bartender says: "I don't know, what does he look like?"

:D

Is it true that there are no longer jokes on ice lolly sticks anymore?I used to love them when I was a kid.
 
fozzybear said:
:D

Is it true that there are no longer jokes on ice lolly sticks anymore?I used to love them when I was a kid.

Must've not been around for quite a while, I've never seen one. Not to make you feel old or anything... ;)
 
fozzybear said:
"What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

"An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth."

Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude

What does Bob Marley say to his friends when he buys doughnuts?
Hope you like Jammin too.

What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?
You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all... you let yourself down.

What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.

lol @ all of those - heard the ET one and the Bob Marley one before - still raised a smile :D
 
Penguin wrapper and Christmas cracker jokes. They are awful, nobody likes them but if you took them away there would be a rebellion!

SiriusB
 
SiriusB said:
Penguin wrapper and Christmas cracker jokes. They are awful, nobody likes them but if you took them away there would be a rebellion!

SiriusB

They're the kind of simple, easy to remember jokes that make me laugh.

Here's some more.

What do you get hanging from Father Christmas's roof?
Tired arms!

Where does Tarzan buy his clothes?
At a jungle sale

What do you call just married spiders?
Newly-webs.

Which bird always succeeds?
A budgie with no teeth.

What's purple and shouts "Help"?
A damson in distress.

:D

Fraggr, what was the answer to your 'penguin wrapper' joke?
 
What's the best birthday present for a little boy?
Well a drum takes a lot of beating!

Why did the baby foal take throat lozenges?
Because he was a little horse.

Who was the biggest robber in history?
Atlas - he held up the world.

How's the little lad who swallowed the £1 coin, doctor?
No change yet, I'm afraid


Absoloute genius! :p
 
A gorilla goes in a pub and points to a pint, gives the barman a £10 note and he gets 5p change.
A bit later the barman says "You don't see many gorillas in here" to which the gorilla replied "I think not at £9.95 a pint".


A dog goes into a hardware shop and asks if they know anybody who has got a vacancy for a plumber. The assistant says "Shouldn't you try the circus?" to which the dog replied "What use have they got for a plumber?".
 
Q:What do you call a woman with a tile on her head?

A:Ruth

Q: What do you call a man in a bush?

A: Russell.

:o
 
SiriusB said:
Actually it was the sky... But we shouldn't let facts get in the way of a bad joke :D

SiriusB

:confused:

fozzybear-cab01.jpg
 
SiriusB said:
Actually it was the sky... But we shouldn't let facts get in the way of a bad joke :D

SiriusB

:confused: :confused:
What you talkin' about Willis?

Edit: A quick wiki check confirms Mr SiriusB as being right. Wiser man than me :)
 
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