Perfect Girlfriend

Can imagine that getting really annoying. You'd be sat watching the footie and she'd be doing that in front of you. "Get out of the way of the ****ing TV love!" :p
 
She could dribble on my balls all day. I'd let her soccer my balls. I'd love to foul her in the box. She could trap my balls inbetween her legs.
 
normally people who are amazing at doing skills like this, are terrible at actually playing football.

obviously ronaldhino, etc are the exception to the rule.

when i worked for a large company which had a work's friendly 7 a side game on monday's and the students decided to start up a 5-a-sde game on friday's one of the staff brought along these 2 kids (about 18-20) on friday as we were short, they both did tricks at half time at football games, celtic park, etc.

we saw them before kick off doing all these fancy moves, 1 was short, skinny and fast and knew every trick in the book, the other was the same except taller and couldnt do a couple of the tricks the other guy knew. we all thought we were going to get owned, oh how wrong we all were.

In the game every time the short one tried doing a trick, he ended up either being tackled, losing the ball or bullied off the ball or running himself into a corner. his frustration was hilarious, he started kicking the boards and screaming.

he got through on goal, 1 on 1 and all he had to do was hit it in, but thats too easy for this super chump, he tried to hit it by wrapping his right foot behind his left leg and going for a fancy shot. the ball didnt go anywhere near goal, it was hilarious.

soon after him getting nowhere he was complaining about our team, being too aggressive and trying to break his legs, when none of our tackles even touched him.

anyway the taller lad, was much more successful with his tricks and pace, so we decided to just double up on him, which soon got him frustrated. the other teams tactics were to pass the ball to him and let him do it all, he soon got fed up and started shooting from the half way line and moaning at his team not helping him, when he was the greediest player you have ever seen.

anyway into the second half of the game and we are up by 7 goals, and they are getting mauled, the 2 super kids start hacking. they hacked our best player, who is about 6 foot 3, fast and extremely strong, he just turned round and pushed 1 of them straight in the chest and said "come ahead then if you want to play it like that", the look on this boy's face was hilarious, he nearly started crying.

anyway the smaller of the 2 goes in goals, after ranting all the way through the match, at this point every time he gets the ball, all he does is pass to the taller kid he is mates with. this was easy to spot so i started marking him. keeper gets it and throws it out, i ran round the taller kid and collect the ball just as he was about to receive it and he hits the deck saying i kicked him.

i was like wtf are you on about? the oldest guy there said "i saw the whole thing and he never touched you, he was at least a foot away from you the whole time".

the wee kid in goals is like "**** this im going, are you coming?" to the kid on the deck.

both of them decided to leave, half way through the second half of the game, so we had to abandon the game because of them. it was the talking point at work and on monday's game, we all told the numpty who brought them along that we never wanted to see those 2 guys ever again, they were the worst players and sportsmanship you could see. turned out 1 of them was his brother in law.
 
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