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Post your favourite Simpsons quotes!

Discussion in 'Music, Box Office, TV & Books' started by Nazca, Jan 15, 2011.

  1. Nazca

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Sep 14, 2005

    Posts: 1,540

    Location: All over.

    I've been watching a lot of classic Simpsons recently. So many classic moments and quotes:

    E.g.

    Homer: Hello, My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
    Clerk: Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
    Homer: I..don't know.
    Homer: Great plan, Bart!

    Ralph: Hi Lisa, Hi Supernintendo Chalmers.

    Chief: You're off the case McGonigle!
    McGonigle: You're off your case, chief!
    Chief: What does that even mean?
    Homer: It means he gets results!

    :D

    Post some of yours!
     
  2. jp_bl_68

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Jan 3, 2009

    Posts: 8,040

    Homer: It was a lazy, dog-dangling afternoon...
    (cut to Homer dangling Santa's Little Helper)
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2011
  3. Participant

    Caporegime

    Joined: May 13, 2003

    Posts: 30,074

    Location: Warwickshire

    Kang: Calling home planet! This is Kang reporting a cigar-shaped object moving at tremendous speed!
    Superior Rigellian: Sure, Kang, I'm writing it all down.
     
  4. jp_bl_68

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Jan 3, 2009

    Posts: 8,040

    Homer: No beer and no TV makes Homer something something...
    Marge: Go crazy?
    Homer: DON'T MIND IF I DO!!!
     
  5. "andy"

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jun 9, 2005

    Posts: 13,758

     
  6. Demoniser

    Wise Guy

    Joined: May 21, 2006

    Posts: 2,178

    still makes me laugh to this day :p. I really should rewatch the old simpsons episodes again.
     
  7. Naffa

    Capodecina

    Joined: Sep 4, 2005

    Posts: 11,455

    Location: Bristol

    Absolutely classic! :D

    One for me would be:

    Apu: "Sir, you cannot smoke in here. Please, the sign is clearly posted."

    *Pan to about seven huge posters advertising smoking surrounding a tiny sign saying 'No smoking'.*

    It's weird, there are SO many hilarious lines that I can't think of any right now. :p
     
  8. Knubje

    Soldato

    Joined: Jun 5, 2008

    Posts: 6,234

    Location: Portsmouth/Fareham

    There are far, far, far too many good Simpsons quotes for me to start. I'm going to have to think hard and post later my absolute favourites.

    I bet the majority of quotes from people come from Seasons 1-9. After that it became meh, although still enjoyable, not comedy genius of its former self once was.


    Ah, just remembered one of my favourites:

    *Guys walks into quickie mart in snow gear clearly been through an ordeal, plonks a bag of ice on the table*
    MAN
    You've gotta start selling this for more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!!
    APU:
    If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2011
  9. p4radox

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 1, 2004

    Posts: 10,748

    Location: Prague

     
  10. stulid

    Capo Crimine

    Joined: Jan 17, 2010

    Posts: 66,849

    Location: weston-super-mare

    I will keep it simple,

    "DOH"

    :D
     
  11. jp_bl_68

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Jan 3, 2009

    Posts: 8,040

    Ralph: I'm learnding!
     
  12. Nazca

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Sep 14, 2005

    Posts: 1,540

    Location: All over.

    You must be stupid than you look.
    Homer: Stupider like a fox!

    Man alive!...There are... men alive in here!

    Homer: Weaseling out of things is important. It separates us from the animals...except from the weasel.

    Rev. Lovejoy: Well I don't see you volunteering to make things better.
    Marge: Well...Ok, I will volunteer
    Rev. Lovejoy: I wasn't prepared for that.

    I could go all day with these quotes :D
     
  13. Naffa

    Capodecina

    Joined: Sep 4, 2005

    Posts: 11,455

    Location: Bristol

    Homer: "You don't understand how the creative mind works like I do. You look at this table, and what do you see? Just a table! Now, a creative person like me looks at this table and sees all kinds of creative things... But no tables."

    Marge: "Homer, that's not a table, it's our dryer."

    Homer: *Screams* "My files!"
     
  14. Clum

    Mobster

    Joined: Dec 7, 2008

    Posts: 2,771

    Location: Auckland/Edinburgh

    I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
     
  15. Nazca

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Sep 14, 2005

    Posts: 1,540

    Location: All over.

    Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
    Bart: You're right!
    [Gets up and leaves]
    Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.

    Chief Wiggum: Do it for this adorable little puppy. Look at the puppy, Marge.
    Marge: That's your hat.
    Lou: She's good, chief.

    Lionel Hutz: Oh no, we've drawn Judge Snyder.
    Marge: Is that bad?
    Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son".

    Ah Phil Hartman, I guess the show started going downhill since he passed on.
     
  16. thepeganator

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Sep 14, 2008

    Posts: 2,486

    Location: Portsmouth/Salisbury

    Carl: "You know, I was hexed by a troll, and a Leprechaun cured that right up."
    Lenny: "Hey, you know what's even better is Jesus. He's like six Leprechauns."
    Carl
    : "Yeah, but a lot harder to catch. Go with a Leprechaun."

    My favourite :)
     
  17. dekez

    Mobster

    Joined: Apr 14, 2009

    Posts: 4,332

    Location: Location: Location

    Homer: I need your phone book for Hokkaido Japan please.
    Librarian: here you go Hokkaido Japan.
    Homer: can I use your phone please?
    Librarian: is it a local call??
    Homer: uhhhh...... Yes....
     
  18. Nazca

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Sep 14, 2005

    Posts: 1,540

    Location: All over.

    Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
    Homer: Is it Batman?
    Marge: No, he's a scientist.
    Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
    Marge: It's not Batman!

    Homer: Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball got run over. What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman.

    Hans Moleman: I was saying Boo-urns.

    Hans Moleman: Oh no...my brains. :D

    Director: Up and atom!
    McBain: Up and at them.
    Director: Up and ATOM!
    McBain: Up and atdem!
    Director: UP AND ATOM!
    McBain: UP AND ATEM!
    Director: .. Better.

    Legs: Johnny Tightlips, where'd they hit ya?
    Johnny Tightlips: I ain't sayin' nothin'.
    Legs: But what'll I tell the doctor?
    Johnny Tightlips: Tell him to suck a lemon.

    Fat Tony: Johnny Tightlips, can you see the shooter?
    Johnny Tightlips: I see a lot of things...
    Fat Tony: You know, you could be a little more helpful.

    Fat Tony: Ahh, my Joi'zee muscle... It's so good to see you. Did you have a nice flight Johnny Tightlips?
    Johnny Tightlips: I ain't sayin' nothin'
    Fat Tony: I undastand.. How is your motha'?
    Johnny Tightlips: Oh ey, who says I have a motha?
     
  19. Demoniser

    Wise Guy

    Joined: May 21, 2006

    Posts: 2,178

    I'm sure i'm not the only one who just read those quotes in their head with the voices of Rainier Wolfcastle and the gangster guys :p.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2011