Posting when trousered ... lol

Aliboy

Aliboy

Aliboy

Soldato
Joined
4 Jan 2004
Posts
3,200
I know I'm going to regret posting this as the main title suggests but, I am trousered :D

Ohhhh, when you read this you will realise that I've wrote it as though I'm talking to myself .... Anyway ....

My seemingly quiet and reserved accountant of a next door neighbour was seen walking down our street today and judging by the slurred words and the inability to stand up straight gave me the impression that he was pretty well sozzled. He's a nice fella and he invited me over to his house for a bevvy. I wasn't going to go as I can be a right loud arse at parties and will do almost anything to get people to laugh at me and even though (God's sake ... my eyes are pressed so close to the screen I can almost see individual pixels) I know I can be a pain in the ass ... all I want to do is let people have a good laugh even if it's at my expense (Note to self .... I'm very impressed by Al's ability to be textually coherant even though they keys on his KB are merging into one).
So, I was going to stay in the house by myself tonnight and have a quiet night in when I saw a strobe light coming from his living room window:eek: I thought it was his alarm flashing on some kinda silent mode but then I heard the music that came from the window too. Well that was me ... I was soon standing at his door (can't believe I never even put a pair of shoes on!) in a pair of shorts and a T-Shirt and was pushed into his living room by a very attractive girl (turned out she didn't live there ... She was just a friend of a friend) who announced to everyone that a half naked neighbour was here for free beer :D

So to cut this long and seemingly pointless story short ... I had a friggin ball:D As per usual, my kindneys and liver took a pounding and I feel as though I've done those little barf burps in my mouth a dozen times and I now find myself on good ol' OCUK posting drivvle:D

I've kinda forgotten to be honest why I started writing this post as I can't be arsed reading back over it again. Anyway, I'm nipping back to his house as I've come to pick up Singstar (ABBA ... that is worth a suspension for even admitting that:D) and I'm heading back across for a wee sing song session :D

Sometimes, life just surprises you with these little moments of joy and it is because of this I would appreciate it if the mods could keep this thread open for just a couple of ddays so that I can be reminded what a load of tosh I've just written ;)

Ahhhh, that's it ... Posting when trousered ... that's what I was talking about .... lol. I was thinking of making it a poll to see how many of you had done it and if you'd regretted it in the morning (I can't suss out how to do a poll though).

Gotta go as it's chucking it down outside and the attractive girl (Jenna I think she's called) is dancing outside to no music getting pretty wet ....

Hold on Jenna .... I'm cuuummming ;)

Laydeez an jennamen (see what I did there?) LET THE SLAGGING COMMENCE :D:D

oNE LAST THING (Bloody caps lock) .... I really am surprised that I can still type this well and that I think I sound sober. If only someone would invent a keyboard that could type out slurry words for you for better effect :)

Psst ... she's still dancing :D
 
Bloody hell .... I knew I'd forgotten to mention something:D

Is there a name for the condition that I seem to be suffering fromn that is making me reapeadly (prepeatedly .... Oh FFS, you know what I mean) fressing (pressing) the Eff Five button to see what others might be saying about the state I'm in? Or is OCUK that bloody addictive that I feel the need to come o here and post rubbish for the people of the internet to read?

Okat folks .... If you change your mind (take a chance) I'm the first in line, (take a chance chance chance) honey I'm still free, take a chance on me ... :eek:;):D:p
 
Milkybk said:
Well at this point it has become clear that the bird you thought was hot is actually a munter hidden behind beer goggles or you'd have left :p
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Okay folks ... bit of a dilema here. I seem tohave spent so long on here since I was only meant to pop across for the PS3 that I think they have thought I was just not going to be coming back. I've heard ataxi pull up and a few folk getting in it and even though the house still has the living room lights on there doesn't seem to be any more music coming from the place. Do I risk going across there anyway with my PS tucked under my arm with my Abba singtar in my Farmfoods bag and look like a right numpty when my neighbour tells me the party's over:confused: It's torrential rain outside and he might get the wrong impression as I'm standiing there like Mr Darcy with my shirt all wet and me asking if I can still come in to play:D I don't think he's gay but you never know ... He might like a wee bit 'o' Pizza and a wee bit 'o' pasta (if you know what I mean:eek::D)
 
Bugger!!!!

I've been standing inside my own front door looking across to his front door trying to size up the situation when I seen movement at his window. I ran across with a great idea ... I thought that if I rang his doorbell I could ask him if my mobile phone was lying in his house (it's sitting on charge in my room) and then I could guess the mood (if any) that the party might be in (if it was still going at all).

Anyway, I've bolted across the road in the pi**ing rain trying my hardest not to get any wetter, only to come to a screaching halt and battered into his front door so hard that the front of his letter box has fallen off!!! I thought his path was really slippery but as I've limped home with a possible broken toe I've looked at the bottom of my foot as it felt a bit squelchy. I thought I had stepped and skidded in dog crap but he hasn't got a dog ... I've only stepped on the worlds biggest slug and coated a decent part of my foot with it :D

I legged it as best as I could (more llike zig zagged it) back to my place giggling like a little girl.

Looks like the party might be finished after all:(

Now here's the next dilemma ... Should I go to bed or should I drink the wine that the ex girlfriend has left in the fridge. I hate wine but I don't want the night to end:D

Love from Al and Shug the Slug (deceased)
 
A quick update on my situation ..... I've opted for the wine! Might as well go all out and have a little party to myself and my chums on t'internet!

Why do I feel like a kid that's got off with nicking something from the corner shop and boasting to my mates that I never got caught (the letter box thingie). Do I tell him in the morning when I see him (I don't think anyone came to the door when I decided to kiss the stained glass window part of it ;))
 
MUST ............





STOP .............






POSTING ...............








GUFF ..............







WILL ..............






SOMBODY ..............







PLEASE ............



PULL ME AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD FFS :D


I feel like that guy who had his picture taken when he dressed up as some space dude from the film Tron I think it was. You know the one I'm talking about? Looked like a real geeky Billy no mates kinda guy. Probably a virgin! That's what I feel like right now .....


On a more serous note ... my toe is FRIGGIN HURTING LIKE HELL :D:D
 
Milkybk said:
Take the "what mail box?!?" approach ;)
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I'll do that Milkybk :D In the meantime I'll just have to raise my glass once more to Shug the Slug and think about calling it a night myself. :D





Quick joke ...........

The doorbell rings at some blokes house and when he answers it he sees a slug on his step with a small suitcase selling things like cloths and clothes pegs. The slug says to the man, "You wanna buy some cheap household goods sir?" The man tells the slug to sling his hook and boots the poor sod down to the bottom of the garden path. Three years later and the fellas doorbell rings and when he opens the door the little slug is there and shouts up ..... "Whadaya do that for?"


I'd get my coat but my arse is glued to this seat ....



On a scale of one to ten ............. How cringe worthy is this post going to be when I remember what I've gone and done :D
 
Westie said:
lol quality! ive been in your situation many many times but im more in the state of not being able to read the time on my watch let alone use a PC and post on some forums! lol
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Ahhhhhh ... welcome Westie ....by replying to my posts you are now legally bound to hang about until either .....

1: You can't take anymore of my crap.

or

2: I fall asleep at the KB.

May God have mercy on your soul matey :D


My typing skills have impressed me too buddy .... :D


Quick edit: It's now twenty minutes to five and got a little burst of life again!!!!
 
Last edited:
OMG .... What have I gone and done?

I can't believe I'm awake after only about four and a half hours sleep and jeez .... I feel rough :o

I looked in the mirror this morning to find that I've had a full eye transplant! The eyes that was looking back at me from the mirror never had any white parts around the edges but instead resembled a road map of north west Wales :eek: Funnily enough my head is pounding but it's not from the amount of drink that I consumed ... it's from the bloody little brats outside that are buzzing up and down the street in a little electric jeep and screaming at the top of their voices :mad: Even the clacking of my keyboard seems loud :D

I'm off to make something to eat and then I'm getting back to my scratcher for another few hours.

As they say in Russia ....... Mosgow :D
 
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