Practical joke help - letter from council

doodah

doodah

doodah

Caporegime
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I am in need of some OcUK practical joke help.

My house mate received a rather annoying letter from Merton Council recently. It reads….

Fixed Penalty Notice: EN99011XXX

On 21/01/2014, at around 09:40, I found a letter from XXXXX deposited in XXXXX, with evidence relating to you. This is an offense under section 87 (1) of The Environmental Protection Act 1990.

On this occasion, we are offering you the opportunity to avoid being prosecuted by paying a fixed penalty notice of £75.00, which is attached to this letter.

You may pay the discounted amount of £50.00 if you pay within 10 days of the date of this notice.

Please make sure that in the future you dispose of any litter responsibly.
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The item is a letter addressed to my house mate from the doctor (yes – should have shredded). She really isn’t the littering type and the likely thing that happened is it fell out of the bin liners when being collected by the bin men (never mind the recently permanent massive pile of junk wood and uncollected rubbish in the same spot). This jobs worth has even taken a picture of the letter next to a beer can (not ours). She has kindly responded asking for proof that she herself littered the item citing various legal reasons for this unjust action.

So as I am on my lunch I thought I would write an additional letter but need something that sounds believable. Any suggestions? Photoshop evidence welcome :D – she is into running, the gym and I know she gets her hair and nails done down the road if that helps ;)

The offending article....

11qsr41.jpg
 
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Send a letter pretending to drop the fixed penalty. Then when she gets another letter saying **** you pay me, you'll have the last laugh!
 
Fake letter from the bailiffs stating they are coming to collect goods in lieu of her missed payment.
 
The council wrote to her and used "I" instead of a collective term?

I call shenanigans.
 
Hang on a moment, if someone, for whatever reason, goes through your rubbish and drops some on the pavement, or a bunch of yobs decide to kick your bin over, you can get fined for littering?

I'd be straight down the offices and informing the council exactly where they can stick their condescending threat.*


*I'd even take my keyboard with me as backup.
 
Malevolence said:
Hang on a moment, if someone, for whatever reason, goes through your rubbish and drops some on the pavement, or a bunch of yobs decide to kick your bin over, you can get fined for littering?
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Not really.

They only reason they are sending the fine rather than going to court, is because they have no case and hope people will just pay up.
 
I once got a fine for littering because I lived with an ******** who was too lazy to take the binbag to the bin and hoofed it into the alley.

I told the council to shove it up their arse and I moved out 2 months later (unrelated).
 
We need pictures of this house mate to really get an understanding of the level of comedy jape required. What are we dealing with here, munter, stunner, we don't know.
 
EVH said:
The council wrote to her and used "I" instead of a collective term?

I call shenanigans.
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It was from an "authorised officer* of the London Borough of Merton"

*Principal Enforcement & Inspection Officer

The whole thing is ridiculous, Jonathan really needs to do something other than snooping around alley ways and car parks taking photos of bins!

She is training to be a lawyer :D. I was thinking about doing one for the bedroom tax as she is in the flat the least :p
 
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Make up something ridiculous like shes been randomly selected to start training to become part of britains first space programme.
 
^ LOL ^ :D - I don't think her boyfriend or my girlfriend would think much of that.

Jonathan has replied to the littering letter; he hasn't provided proof that she littered, he said there is an issue with bins in our area - no ****!!!, he says all the legal wranglings she has cited are just "guidelines" and has asked for an account of how the letter got to be where it is.
 
xibinim said:
^ LOL ^ :D - I don't think her boyfriend or my girlfriend would think much of that.

Jonathan has replied to the littering letter; he hasn't provided proof that she littered, he said there is an issue with bins in our area - no ****!!!, he says all the legal wranglings she has cited are just "guidelines" and has asked for an account of how the letter got to be where it is.
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Seriously?!!

"Hi, it grew legs in the middle of the night and walked down the street, got smashed on a can and **** itself. You woke up said letter in the morning with a monster hangover."

How can the council waste so much time on crap like this? It's not exactly as if you had dumped a pile of sofas, mattresses and dead hookers in your street.
 
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