Protection for my home???

bloodline76 · 18 May 2006 at 12:59

I am concerned about the protection of my home and wish to make it more secure. My friend thinks that I should get some big guard dogs to scare people off on my land.

My first idea was to get loads of monkeys to put in the garden but I am afraid they will be eaten by bears.

But I was thinking that maybe I should get about twenty little yapping violent dogs instead? That would scare me off.

What would be the best choice. These will be left outside.

wordy · 18 May 2006 at 13:02

Have you considered seeding your garden with anti personnel landmines?

You wouldn't have to feed them, and they wouldn't be making lots of noise all the time(apart from when they go off of course)

Slinwagh · 18 May 2006 at 13:05

A giant condom that covers the house..........

Mellownatts · 18 May 2006 at 13:08

I'd go with the monkeys.

Although, iron gates on doors and windows are my personal favorite, had them fitted on most of my properties.

Spacky · 18 May 2006 at 13:10

Rich_L · 18 May 2006 at 13:13

Tour the roads picking up roadkill and nail each decaying animal corpse to a crucifix and put that in your garden in full view.

When you get enough (20+) I would say that would act as a good deterrent to any would-be intruders.

dougguk · 18 May 2006 at 13:15

Just paint your house like a pirate ship, dig a moat round it and wear an eye patch. Then you can hire sailors to man the rigging and scare intruders away by shouting "Aaaaaar me hearties" at them from the roof top - I mean deck - of the ship.

Sorted...

Exentia · 18 May 2006 at 13:16

Rich_L said:
Tour the roads picking up roadkill and nail each decaying animal corpse to a crucifix and put that in your garden in full view.

When you get enough (20+) I would say that would act as a good deterrent to any would-be intruders.

and women!

AJUK · 18 May 2006 at 13:17

Enough already with the monkeys! :rolleyes:

geeza · 18 May 2006 at 13:21

fill your garden with razor wire

bloodline76 · 18 May 2006 at 13:29

I like the pirate idea.

Road kill idea would get a little smelly.

Monkey idea is my favourite but no one would help me find one monkey not alone thirty.

My friend suggested piranahs in the garden but I would have to turn on the sprinklers every 20minutes for that to work.

bloodline76 · 18 May 2006 at 13:33

Would using midgets dressed as pirates be wrong?

fatiain · 18 May 2006 at 13:33

2 "off the wall" threads in as many days. Run out of medication have we?

basmic · 18 May 2006 at 13:33

Is there actually a point to this thread, or is it pure, raw, filthy spam? :rolleyes:

basmic · 18 May 2006 at 13:35

Oh, and here is another one of bloodline76's 'quality' threads in the GD forum.

bloodline76 · 18 May 2006 at 13:36

Just to settle an arguement about the best way of protecting your home

ElRazur · 18 May 2006 at 13:37

To the OP you might wanna consider a couple of territorial dogs like a rotwellier (spelling?) Or German shepherd.

You might also wanna invest in elctronic devices like motion sensor, cctv, pir lights etc (if you have the money). My money will be on territorial and guard dogs though.

Yas786 · 18 May 2006 at 13:39

Just get some killer monkeys and the jobs a good 'un. Stop the silly spamming as well, kinda getting idiotic and silly tbh.

knowlesy · 18 May 2006 at 13:40

you can actualy get trip wires for your garden say near a fence that are attached to a blank shotgun shell good idea but they may end up suig you for stress you caused to them.....

another idea is biometrics they are becoming cheaper these days so it shouldnt cost that much for your front door etc.....

but the best ideas are bolts get some strong steal bolts!!!!!

oh one idea for your drive is a Bollard that you can remove ......

you could by an elecy generator and stick some coper wire around your garden ???? good idea but the suing thing is always an issue....

one good idea again is to use a network cam to post images to your phone or email the moment an atom moves =P.......

but you could just go old fasiond and have rabit nuses, holes in the floor, or an automated m249 but all in all if you want to mod this device here to use a bb gun then maybe your in =D

basmic · 18 May 2006 at 13:40

bloodline76 said:
Just to settle an arguement about the best way of protecting your home

I take it you don't want a serious arguement, then?

bloodline76 said:
Would using midgets dressed as pirates be wrong?

bloodline76 said:
I like the pirate idea.

Road kill idea would get a little smelly.

Monkey idea is my favourite but no one would help me find one monkey not alone thirty.

My friend suggested piranahs in the garden but I would have to turn on the sprinklers every 20minutes for that to work.

bloodline76 said:
My first idea was to get loads of monkeys to put in the garden but I am afraid they will be eaten by bears.

But I was thinking that maybe I should get about twenty little yapping violent dogs instead? That would scare me off.