Punching yourself in the face

Westie said:
about 8 years ago was in a nightclub and lad i knew threw a chair at some lad! completely missed him and caught me square on in the face! i was knocked out for about 12 mins then when i came around i was lying on a sofa with the worst headache ever!

next morning i couldn't even breath properly i went hospital and when he threw the chair it also smashed 2 of my ribs! :(

i actually never got to see the guy who did it as he was in the Army and was later killed in Iraq!

:( sad, funny, true story!
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Thats karma for you...what an utter bitch she is:p
 
On the first staff night out with a new company I'd joined we all got invited back to the bosses place and got plastered. He had a trampoline in the back garden and so we were all bouncing around on it and I decided I was going to do a flip. So up and over I go, execute the flip just fine, but on landing I propel my right knee into my face with such force i swear i broke my nose. I certainly broke the skin on my lip and got an instant nose bleed.

The guys are all pretty normal guys so i didn't make a complete tit of myself :)

B@
 
A while ago now I got out of the bath and bent down to whip the excess water off the back of my legs, I was leaning forward slightly and caught both nuts with the most energetic flick. I dropped to the floor like Mike Tyson had hit me.

The Mrs came up stairs to see what the noise was to find me naked and shivering in a heap.
 
Bit of back story here, im 6'4. What this means is i have pretty long legs really, anyways im probably about 17 and ive just woken up for school, i get out of bed and pick up my shirt and tie and put them on, then i get my trousers and put in one leg, after this i hop about and try and get the other legs in while hopping on the other.
Then i let out a MASSIVE sneeze like literally a ACHHOOOOOOOOOO one that shakes the photos on the wall.
At this point my face goes striaght into my bony knee at like 20 mph or so. BLOOD EVERYWHERE, my shirt was red, the carpet was red, i was white as a sheet afterwards. imagine the shock when mum walked in eh :P
was quite funny explain to my mates why i was 20 minutes late that day
 
I've done this sort of thing countless times. The worst for me was jumping off a kerb on a pogo stick, feet slipped off and the handle propelling itself straight into my throat.
 
This thread is gold. Ive been laughing outloud for the last 5 minutes picturing each scenario in my head.

Ive done the whole hand-slip-punch in the face one - especially with mattresses - I can never seem to get enough purchase on the grip and you give them an allmighty tug and bang...you don't know what's hit you.

Anyway, a good one I did a couple of months back. Picture the scene, I'm outside a bar having just seen a live band in Sydney with a couple of mates, I ring my mate in England who I haven't spoken for in at least 4 months. Within seconds of him answering, my mate next to me asks me a question which I duly ignore, this doesn't please him so he starts prodding me... I start walking in the other direction whilst he continues to prod me until I tell him in no uncertain terms to get lost (as I am on the phone). Anyway, he continues so at this point I'm laughing and decide to run (read: sprint) away from him. I sprint off up the path and have a quick look over my shoulder to check he's not chasing me (he's not) then BANG. A low tree branch (I'm 6'5") completely cleans me up, straight shot at sprinting speed to the forehead and I land face first on the pavement. Knocked myself out for a good 2-3 minutes and had blood pouring down my face as well as a badly sprained ankle. Explaining my TWO black eyes and gangster lean to the office wasn't easy :)
 
I've just gone through this whole thread laughing so mu....OH COME ON! Literally whilst i was typing that i knocked my big heavy Nokia N900 off my desk which landed squarely on my danglies! I have my chair low rider style so it had built up quite a bit of speed before impact. I don't beleive in karma but that was just ridiculous :mad: :D

Anyway, my mate did a kracker the other day. We were at a bit of a house party, both of us were pretty drunk and someone started talking about Jersey Shore so we both decided to take the **** and do some fist pumping. So we are both stood there facing each other laughing and flailing are fists around and then BAM my mate hits himself straight in the middle of his face with the side of his clenched. I was in histerics whilst he was nearly in tears :D :D Then later on, he was doing a reinactment of it and ended up skimming a wall with his fist then punching a clock :D

I have also done a couple of goodens. The worst and most common one has to be after having a shower drying my hair with a towel too vigerously and whipping myself in the jewels, that's never nice. :(
Another i'm quite good at his head butting stuff in my sleep, it's usually the wall or bed post but last time was a bit more funny... I woke myself up by doing a massive spasm and then a split second later *CRACK*... I had nutted my GF square on her forehead :D It wasn't that hard but it was an unpleasent wake up for her and gave me a lot of laughter. Then later that night the same thing happened again, i nutted her square in the forhead but this time a lot harder, i tried not to laugh but just could not help it. :D :D That time it did also hurt me though :(
 
Takes a bit of explaining:

I leant over to pick up something from off the floor when sitting by my desk at work, but made a mental calculation on where the object was (right by my feet) .. then rather than shift my entire body back and crawling under the desk .. just shoved my arm down there whilst moving my face down quickly to be level with the desk so my arm could actually reach the floor (still sat down).

I was chewing a pen at the time, the end of the pen that wasn't in my gob hit the desk, which pushed it into the back of my throat with such ferocity it effectively stabbed me (I reckon went about 1cm in), and blood started pouring down my throat.

I didn't tell anyone what had just happened. Just sat. In silence. In absolute agony .. At work. With blood all running down my throat for about 20 minutes until it stopped..
 
I knocked myself out cold with a door at university once.

I'd been out shopping in Asda and returned home having walked about 3 miles with some extremely heavy shopping bags. When I got to my front door I managed to put all the bags into one hand so I could use the other for my keys. Once I'd managed to get the door open, I yanked my keys out of the door to go inside. Only problem was that I hadn't quite turned my key quite straight in the lock so when I puled the key out the whole door went with it. And I pulled that key hella hard

I went and sat down on the couch next to my mate, let go of my shopping bags and then passed out
 
ive punched my self in the face when lifting a sack full of parcels of the back of my van, the handle snapped clean of and as it was heavy i put a lot of effort in and just hit my self square in the face.
 
britboy4321 said:
I was chewing a pen at the time, the end of the pen that wasn't in my gob hit the desk, which pushed it into the back of my throat with such ferocity it effectively stabbed me (I reckon went about 1cm in), and blood started pouring down my throat.
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eee, you got off quite lucky, something that deep with something as filthy as a pen could have ended up in a very horrible infection
 
I seem to have terrible luck with planes. On my recent trip to India, the woman next to me was sleeping and i really really needed the toilet. I stretched my leg over her onto the isle and as i was getting my other foot over BAM - i must have slipped or there was turbulence or something. My plums - straight down onto her armrest.
Thankfully nobody saw as everyone was asleep :)
 
When doing rounds of Thai Boxing you can wear yourself out rather a lot. A Mixture of sweat and going hell for leather on the pads while drained can make for interesting consequence.

My consequence was my fist ricocheting off a pad after delivering an almighty uppercut and smacking myself straight in the face. :D

My Thai trainer ****ed himself laughing.
 
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