Quick Joke

Aliboy

Aliboy

Aliboy

Soldato
Joined
4 Jan 2004
Posts
3,200
An elderly man walks into a confessional and sits down and starts talking to the priest. The old man says "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two sexy students hitchhiking and we went to a hotel where I had sex with each of them three times." The priest is shocked but replies "Are you sorry for your sins?" The old man says "What sins?" The priest who is even more shocked says "What kind of a Catholic are you?" The old man replies "I'm not catholic, I'm Jewish." The priest is now completely confused and says to the old man "Why are you telling me all this?" The old fella smiles and says "I'm telling everybody." :D

Boom boom tish ;)
 
I'm on a roll .... here's another :o

Johnny's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident which caused her to fall into a deep coma.
After nearly six months she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant.
Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor says "You had twins - a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Johnny, he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor,
"Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, "Wow! that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise."
Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."

Taxiiiiiiiiiiiiii :p
 
Time for some awesome jokes:

What did the big superhero say to the little superhero?

I've got a secret pocket in my cape!


What happens if you cross a CD with a prong?

An audio-prod!


Why did the Eskimo shave the sea lion?

He wanted it to be smooth!
 
Haha I like.


Glasgow burd enters a sex shop and asks for a vibrator.

The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."

She says "Gies that red yin"

The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
 
My little 9 year old brother told me this joke and as sad as it sounds id never heard it and found it amusing:

Q: How do you get a one armed irishman out of a tree?


A: Wave!

:)
 
One more ...

Drunk guy at the bar is obviously upset when his buddy comes up and asks him what's the matter. He says "Itsh all over fer me. Myyy wife tode me the nexsht time I come home wiff puke on my shirt, I'm finished. She'sh gonna be gone."

Friend thinks for a second and says, "No worries. Just you go home and she'll no doubt be waiting at the doorstep when you get outta the taxi pointing that finger at you. Hold up £10 in the air and say, Honey, I know what you're thinking, but let me explain. I was helping this drunk guy into a taxi and as he got in he threw up all over my shirt. But don't worry honey, he gave me £10 for the dry cleaning!"

Drunk guy says "That'sh genioush! I'll do it!" He takes the taxi home and sure enough his wife is waiting for him at the front door as he gets out of the cab pointing her finger at him with a really evil look on her face. The drunk staggers out, waving the money in the air, and says "Honey, I know what - what yer thinkin'. But lishen! I wash juss helpin' thish drunk (hiccup) guy into hish cab an' he pyoooked all over my shirt. B-but don't you worry, shweetiepie, he gave me £10 to get it dry cleaned!"
His wife says "But you have £20 in your hand there."
And the drunk says "That'sh right. He also crapped in my trousers."

:D :D
 
point1.gif
 
Old No.7 said:
And the drunk says "That'sh right. He also crapped in my trousers."

:D :D
Click to expand...

hahaha :D


A female ned walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.

"Ah'll be back ta morra efternin tae pick up ma dress." she says.

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "Naw" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
 
Tru said:
hahaha :D


A female ned walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.

"Ah'll be back ta morra efternin tae pick up ma dress." she says.

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "Naw" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
Click to expand...


Nice one tru :D :D
 
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