Quite a puzzler...

penski · 22 May 2006 at 09:00

...As put to me by a friend last night:

"Can you love someone but not stand to be around them?"

I really don't know :/

*n

G|mp · 22 May 2006 at 09:02

In a family way or relationship way?

Nix · 22 May 2006 at 09:04

I'm sure it's possible. There's a thin line between love and hate.

I'm sure things such as platonic love, it's possible.

With physical attraction and love, this probably isn't the case. But relationships over time often degrade into platonic love.

Mellownatts · 22 May 2006 at 09:04

If there annoying enough that you can't be in a room with them for longer than 5 minutes i would say so.

Depends on the circumstances i guess.

Sic · 22 May 2006 at 09:06

don't think so. you're not obliged to love your family, just like you're not obliged to love your girl/boyfriend. there's members of my family that i hate (read: have NO positive feelings for) and i can't bear to be around.

i think some people convince themselves that they love someone, when it's just their conscience telling them that they should, at least, care about them enough to pretend that they're in love.

Kell_ee001 · 22 May 2006 at 09:18

penski said:
...As put to me by a friend last night:

"Can you love someone but not stand to be around them?"

I really don't know :/

*n

I think so.

When you do love them but are very angry/upset then I think you can know in your heart that you love them but at that moment can't stand to be around them.

Obviously this would only apply in fleeting moments but I think it might be possible

penski · 22 May 2006 at 09:20

Kell_ee001 said:
I think so.

When you do love them but are very angry/upset then I think you can know in your heart that you love them but at that moment can't stand to be around them.

Obviously this would only apply in fleeting moments but I think it might be possible

I think that's what she was getting at; I know her and her manhalf have been arguing a lot of late.

Actually, I'll rephrase it based on what I know:

"If the person you love cannot respond to you in a civil manner, can you be with them?"

*n

Mr Man · 22 May 2006 at 09:22

penski said:
...As put to me by a friend last night:

"Can you love someone but not stand to be around them?"

I really don't know :/

*n

Yes....I have this feeling a lot at the moment, due to one thing or another, but thats for another thread maybe

Nix · 22 May 2006 at 09:23

penski said:
"If the person you love cannot respond to you in a civil manner, can you be with them?"

*n

No.

It doesn't matter if I love them or not, if someone was being unreasonable I wouldn't want to be around them. The affection you feel for said person would be pushed to the back of your mind.

penski · 22 May 2006 at 09:27

Nix said:
No.

It doesn't matter if I love them or not, if someone was being unreasonable I wouldn't want to be around them. The affection you feel for said person would be pushed to the back of your mind.

Understandably.

Would you want to still be *with* them but not live with them? A step backwards as it were.

*n

Sic · 22 May 2006 at 09:30

penski said:
"If the person you love cannot respond to you in a civil manner, can you be with them?"

*n

it's not a case of having the ability to be with them. i wouldnt want to be with them. it sounds like one party in this relationship isn't making an effort, and is trying to make the other's life a misery, or just **** them off so much that they finish it. horrible situation that i've been in, myself from both angles. and both times ended the same way:

*bye bye*

Mellownatts · 22 May 2006 at 09:31

A step backwards ends up in full time seperation most of the time.

Kell_ee001 · 22 May 2006 at 09:33

penski said:
Would you want to still be *with* them but not live with them? A step backwards as it were.

*n

That would depend on the situation. I could forgive and forget if there were other things contributing to the problem that could be worked on, possibly without the need to step back.

If they were being nasty and disrespectful for no good reason without outside influence then most likely only a full split would do.

penski · 22 May 2006 at 09:34

Sic said:
it's not a case of having the ability to be with them. i wouldnt want to be with them. it sounds like one party in this relationship isn't making an effort, and is trying to make the other's life a misery, or just **** them off so much that they finish it. horrible situation that i've been in, myself from both angles. and both times ended the same way:

*bye bye*

That's the thing - they're great together, they dote on each other...it's just that more and more frequently they bicker and it'll escalate into a full-blown argument...

*n

thelegend · 22 May 2006 at 09:38

yeah you can love some one

but it may be to painful to see them.

take splitting up with your partener for example. you would still love them but find it hard to be around them.

Visage · 22 May 2006 at 09:42

penski said:
...As put to me by a friend last night:

"Can you love someone but not stand to be around them?"

I really don't know :/

*n

Yes. Wolverhampton Wanderers Football Club........

Sic · 22 May 2006 at 09:42

penski said:
That's the thing - they're great together, they dote on each other...it's just that more and more frequently they bicker and it'll escalate into a full-blown argument...

*n

what are the arguments based on? do they start on little things and it just gets silly and out of hand? one of my relationship philosophies is that there's no reason to argue. if you want to be in an adult relationship, then behaving like an adult is a must. i don't argue in relationships, as i believe that there's always got to be a compromise. i don't think there's any argument you can have that doesn't have a reasonable solution, so i always endeavour to resolve it reasonably. some people find this a little weird, but it's so much better than petty bickering.

G|mp · 22 May 2006 at 09:43

Visage said:
Yes. Wolverhampton Wanderers Football Club........

HeHeHe

Nix · 22 May 2006 at 09:44

penski said:
Understandably.

Would you want to still be *with* them but not live with them? A step backwards as it were.

*n

If the irritation or whatever the factor we're talking about here is continuous, I personally can't see the relationship working. The only reason I'd try my hardest to make things work in such an instance would be if children were a factor.

Kell_ee001 · 22 May 2006 at 09:47

Sic said:
if you want to be in an adult relationship, then behaving like an adult is a must. i don't argue in relationships, as i believe that there's always got to be a compromise. i don't think there's any argument you can have that doesn't have a reasonable solution

I totally agree. Every situation has a compromise and adults would take the time to calmly and reasonable find them