Rant:
- Thread starter ethan
- Start date
Unfortunately it is the wife's house. My hands are tied. I don't necessarily want him to sign on. I'd much rather him get a job for his sake and also to contribute. But what can you do with someone who has the mentality to run away from everything you don't like or want to do? Since I am allowed no active involvment I am simply going to tell the Mrs her son, her problem don't involve me unless you want something serious doing concerning this.
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Bondage for board and lodging. You heard it here first.
At 25 with no job he must feel like ****.
You got any mates or contacts that could give him some work? Once he starts doing some graft he'll soon find a full time job.
Don't kick him out or rant at him as he'll just sulk and his mum will be annoyed at you. Just do what you can to find him some work. I know from personal experience that after a few months of not working you just get stuck in a rut and have to break out of it.
You got any mates or contacts that could give him some work? Once he starts doing some graft he'll soon find a full time job.
Don't kick him out or rant at him as he'll just sulk and his mum will be annoyed at you. Just do what you can to find him some work. I know from personal experience that after a few months of not working you just get stuck in a rut and have to break out of it.
Caporegime
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- Tamworth, UK
Your missus sounds like a push over.
Push her over.
Push her over.
Soldato
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- 2 Jun 2004
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TWENTY FIVE????
It's long past the time he was due for ******* off tbh. What the hell are you playing at letting him live rent free with his mother? I was out at 19, and I consider that late. 25 is just completely taking the wee wee.
You both need your heads examining.
It's long past the time he was due for ******* off tbh. What the hell are you playing at letting him live rent free with his mother? I was out at 19, and I consider that late. 25 is just completely taking the wee wee.
You both need your heads examining.
Soldato
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- The Orion Spur
same for, my mum said I'm either in higher learning or I work and contribute otherwise I was to be thrown out, I'm so glad she did this as it helped instill in me a good work ethic.
She's not doing her son any favors letting him stay at home at the age of 25 rent free and being looked after like a little boy, she is helping destroy her own sons life, you need to help your partner see this.
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You sound like a bit of an idiot, talking about 'flattening' people etc. Evolve a bit mate..
Have you asked this guy why he doesn't have a job? What does he do all day? I'm sure he just loves his life sitting around doing nothing all day...find out what's wrong with him.
Have you asked this guy why he doesn't have a job? What does he do all day? I'm sure he just loves his life sitting around doing nothing all day...find out what's wrong with him.
Associate
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- 20 Oct 2005
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I see your predicament, he's not yours, so you can't do anything negative, like rant/threaten etc, since he'll just blank you out.
As I see it, you can be positive with him, hand him a job on a plate, basically, "go here, at "x" time on "y" day, speak to bob", which I think he will respond positively to.
Alternatively, you can be negative with his mother, and "suggest" she threatens him with rent/eviction, stops feeding him, stops doing any of his washing, and explain to her that while he does not need to get a job, he won't, it's basic human instinct to rest ready to fight for food etc, if he doesn't have to get his own food, then his instincts are just to rest, since he doesn't actually have to do...anything.
Your other option is one you've stated, and just stay out of it completely. At least this will save you from the train wreck that is his life. You could go one step further and act like he's not there, and randomly move stuff around in his room when he's out, goto the toilet when he's having a shower, generally anything that will bug him or make him uncomfortable, he'll either want out of his own accord, or he'll confront you, to which you can reply "if you don't like it, you're welcome to leave".
Remember, when arguing, that you and him are on the same level with regards to ownership of the house, his mum owns it, neither of you do, so you can turn this to your advantage because your mrs wants you there, where he's in the way (rephrase depending on how harsh you wanna be).
You should really have a word with your mrs, it's your "home", and it would be fine if he was a teenager, but he's an adult, and it's just a little wrong. He'll never get anywhere in life while living with his parents (girls won't be impressed etc), jobs above the lowest rung will remain closed to him etc. This is all ammunition for you to use in case you do get involved
Action needs to be taken now!
As I see it, you can be positive with him, hand him a job on a plate, basically, "go here, at "x" time on "y" day, speak to bob", which I think he will respond positively to.
Alternatively, you can be negative with his mother, and "suggest" she threatens him with rent/eviction, stops feeding him, stops doing any of his washing, and explain to her that while he does not need to get a job, he won't, it's basic human instinct to rest ready to fight for food etc, if he doesn't have to get his own food, then his instincts are just to rest, since he doesn't actually have to do...anything.
Your other option is one you've stated, and just stay out of it completely. At least this will save you from the train wreck that is his life. You could go one step further and act like he's not there, and randomly move stuff around in his room when he's out, goto the toilet when he's having a shower, generally anything that will bug him or make him uncomfortable, he'll either want out of his own accord, or he'll confront you, to which you can reply "if you don't like it, you're welcome to leave".
Remember, when arguing, that you and him are on the same level with regards to ownership of the house, his mum owns it, neither of you do, so you can turn this to your advantage because your mrs wants you there, where he's in the way (rephrase depending on how harsh you wanna be).
You should really have a word with your mrs, it's your "home", and it would be fine if he was a teenager, but he's an adult, and it's just a little wrong. He'll never get anywhere in life while living with his parents (girls won't be impressed etc), jobs above the lowest rung will remain closed to him etc. This is all ammunition for you to use in case you do get involved
Action needs to be taken now!
Me neither. If you are paying *anything* towards the upkeep of the house, bills, food etc, and he isn't, then you get a say. If she won't accept that, time to move along!