For some reason this thread reminds me of that old Not the Nine O'Clock News sketch about the old bloke going to buy a gramophone.
Smith: Hello, I want to buy a gramophone.
Atkinson: A what?
Smith: A gramophone.
Atkinson: (Aside to Jones) This should be good. Er sorry squire we don't do gramophones here mate.
Smith: (points to turntables on shelf) Well whats that then?
Atkinson: Thats a CX42 stereo gripshift blah-de-blah balanced F19 turntable unless I'm very much mistaken.
Smith: I'll have one of those.
Atkinson: Do you want an amp?
Smith: (puzzled) Oh, erm, no....
Atkinson: You got to have an amp grandad otherwise you won't hear anything.
Smith: (covering up) Oh, an amp, yes I want one of those.
Atkinson: How many watts do you want?
Smith: (puzzled look) Oh I don't know, I think perhaps about.....3?
Atkinson + Jones: (Derisive laughter)
Smith: (hurridly) Er, 3000!
Atkinson + Jones: (More derisive laughter)
Smith: 30!
Aktinson: 30W amp sure? Do you want woofers and tweeters?
Smith: No I do NOT want woofers and tweeters, I've never heard of such ridiculous!...
Atkinson: Well you've got em if you want em or not grandad they're part of your speakers.
Can't remember the rest