Relationship - Gone Single (Need Advice)

Spong92

Spong92

Spong92

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8 Jan 2008
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84
Well after being with my girlfriend (ex) for nearly 2 and a half years, we've just decided to go on a 'break'. Shes changed to much and I feel she's a completely different person.

I feel so low at the moment (especially as it's valentines day in a couple of days!) So would just like some friendly advice on getting over someone you've been with for so long. I'm going through conflicting emotions and I hope to god I haven't just basically kissed goodbye to the love of my life.

I know none of you people actually know me, but I think its better to get opinions and advice from strangers as they aren't biased (unlike close friends).
 
First things first.... you aren't going to get a lot of replies at 4.20am...

Secondly, you need to tell us how she's changed/who suggested the break/how it all broke down.

If it's something stupid, it may be rescuable, if not, it may be bye forever!

I know how hard it is to split with someone after 2 and a half years (i had to do it for no reason whatsoever, which makes it 10x as hard!!!) but it is possible. Just stick with your mates, play a loada computer games, make loads of girl friends and get drunk loads and it's a sure fire was to get over someone.
 
I know I won't get to many replies at this time, sorry i'd just got off the phone...

I miss the girl I met, and don't really like what shes become.

When I first met her; she was loving, shy, friendly and we always made each other laugh...

Now shes going out every weekend with her friends, doesn't act as loving and definately isn't shy. She told me a couple of weeks ago that she was having 'doubts' (fair enough I had them a while back but they went away). She doesn't show much interest in me anymore, and I keep getting the impression i'm boring her. Oh well, better to have loved and lost and all that c*ap eh? :)
 
She is not special, there will be plenty like her, and plenty of them will be better. If your not happy move on and find someone who is worth the trouble.
 
Keep yourself busy so you dont sit there thinking about her obsessively, I know it sounds easy for me to say, but it does get easier in time.
Go and see your mates, and enjoy not having to answer to anyone but yourself.
:)
 
Who cares about V-Day. It's just a marketing ploy to get us to buy unnecessary things on the High Street. (although the vibrating knickers WITH remote control I have just had an e-mail about could sway my opinion about the day).

Take the positives from your relationship. Don't wait for the next one to fall on your lap. Go out and find her and have fun doing so.

You say you've both changed. Now go out and find the next love of your life. If that doesn't work, go out and try again. Online dating is massive. Check out what's out there. If you don't like it, try and patch things up with your girlfriend. :)
 
Just get on with your life,do as much as you can over the coming weeks to keep busy and you`ll soon get over her but it does take time but as the weeks go by it`ll be easier and easier.
 
i'm going through summin similar matey me and my gf were together 4 1/2 years and we recently decided to go on a break for a month ,she wanted to see if i'd change my mind about breaking up so a months break it is. i've just been gyming a lot and going out with friends barely thought about her to be honest.
 
Echoing what other people have said, just keep yourself busy. Don't let yourself dwell on the situation. When I've been in your situation before (fair enough, not as serious) and keeping the idea that I WILL get over them in my head constantly, helped a lot. :)
 
Spong92 said:
When I first met her; she was loving, shy, friendly and we always made each other laugh...

Now shes going out every weekend with her friends, doesn't act as loving and definately isn't shy.
Click to expand...

Sometimes people are actually like that internally - they then feel the confidence grow and it breaks the bounding box they feel in. How old is she?

I would just go out with friends too - it's going to hurt for a while yet but there's still life out there, your friends, short relationships, rebounds and when you're ready there's that someone special too. And that's the blunt truth!

V-Day is very commercial in my view and a such big non-event. If you love someone you can show them in small as well as large gestures it doesn't take a company PR person to tell you that!
 
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should i say TF2? i'm personnaly not able to think about anything else while playing that game good medicine :p
 
I'm guessing she is at that critical age where she has turned from a girl into a woman and is finding new sides to herself. You can't hold her back and smothering her is the worst thing you can do.

You either have to decide she is not the same girl and move on or you will have to up your game and compete to make her want you. The problem with the second course of action is that it will probably be a painfull and volitile time. It's getting into mind games territory and your relationship will feel more like a competition and point scoring exercise than anything else.

It's a huge problem with girls and it's taken me untill my late 20's to find someone in her mid 20's who has got past all this, is stable and realises what really matters.

Nothing in life stays the same forever, the only way to be happy is to accept the truth, roll with the punches and don't look back.
 
its part of growing up, dont even concider trying to 'fix' relationship, people grow apart.
Just get on with your day to day life, you have a future ahead of you, you will meet lots of people over the coming years, and you will wonder why you were so hung up on her.
 
She is 19 years old now (just turned saturday), she was 16 when we started going out.

The 92 in my name doesn't mean I was born in 1992 :). I'm also 19 (although 20 in a couple of months).

Thanks for your advice so far, I know it seems like common sense but sometimes you need to be told something obvious to actually listen to it.
 
Sounds like my 1st relationship, dont worry about it, when are you 16-25 you do change a lot, a lot of the people who stay together from that age are either great for each other, or most of them are just dull and dont have ambition, or are too scared to live life.

You grow apart, you meet someone new etc, it gets easier :) Enjoy yourself, you can do what you want now, become your own person!
 
this sounds very similar to my son, he was going out with a girl who was 16 him 18 and over time she changed, wanting to go out with friends at the weekends and all weekend parties, there is nothing wrong with that she was just growing up and becoming independant as it sounds like your g/f is doing.
My son is now 21 and g/f 19 and they are back together but much more relaxed about it they just have fun.

Just go out and enjoy life with your mates.
 
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