Relationship thread (Another :D)

Aruffell · 20 May 2006 at 13:31

So over a month ago, me and Laina broke up.

Little background story.

She was with someone for 10 months then got with me and dumped him then we split up because she thought she still loved him.

We went out for about 4 months or so and saw each other all the time. I've known her 2 years now as friends and i admit, i think i loved her and i think a part of me still does.

She didn't get back with the other guy and now me and her are talkin again and a part of me still loves her but the way i see it is if she was with the other guy now, then she wouldn't be saying that she still loves me, right?

Someone give me guidance, there is something about her that i can't shift

I thought i had moved on as i've found another girl and we really click well together

Help lol

Andy

Andelusion · 20 May 2006 at 13:34

edit: must read post properly

Aruffell · 20 May 2006 at 13:51

Anyone?

She driving me nuts but i don't know whether that good or bad

Andy

ricky1981 · 20 May 2006 at 13:51

Sorry to say the only way to move on is to force yourself to do it. I split up with a long term gf back at xmas, loved her totally but for various reasons (mostly my fault

) she wanted to take time apart. We tried staying in touch as friends but it wasn't working that well for either of us. I met someone else but my ex was still on my mind and after a month or two it was really getting me down, I knew I had to make a clean break.

If this girl is still lingering in the background then it's going to be hard to move on, there will always be the "grass is greener" element and being men we always want more what we can't have. If you like the girl you're seeing then you need to give yourself the chance to be happy with her and its nigh on impossible to do that when you're just waiting for your ex to call/text/email!

Who knows what will happen in the future but you can't live life waiting for someone to see the error of their ways just because you think they are the one for you. You might just be wrong :eek:

good luck mate, trust me that in time it gets easier

4T5 · 20 May 2006 at 13:52

She was with someone for 10 months then went with you and Then split with him. If this is true she is not worth bothering with for more than an easy ride.
Loyalty is number one for me and unless she had finished with her bloke first i could not take her seriously as a permanent girlfriend.

Sorry if that hurts mate but it is how i feel. If you click with your new women then give her all your attention and don't waste any on others.

Zefan · 20 May 2006 at 13:54

Right, you've got to stay busy with yourself. I learned this VERY recently. Try to do stuff with your mates (I know, it can be hard when you've been in a relationship for a while - dismissing those friends in a way, but try), as this will keep your mind off of her hopefully. I was bessotted with a girl, now she's nothing more than a cog in my works, due to the fact that I kept busy, left town for a while and just got on with it. Try to distance yourself from the situation, and realise that your mind (However much you don't want to think so) is making a bigger deal of this than it actually is.

Hope I've helped in a complicated sort of way

:edit:
SILLY ME, I didn't read the bit where you said you have a new girl. Oh dear. Well, make sure she knows that you're still affected by the last relationship. If she's a decent person then she'll understand. Actually, if you're young then I wouldn't tell her as she almost certainly won't understand.

Laurio · 20 May 2006 at 13:56

You really need to move on, and if you get on really well with your new girl, then thats great - thats what you need to focus on. Your ex couldnt have cared that much if she broke things off and still had feelings for someone else. Your better off out of there.

You could end up getting back with her, and she could do the same again and its a waste of your time. Move on mate! shes just playing you.

Pickers · 20 May 2006 at 14:21

Was she your first love? Some people say that first loves hold a place in your heart - just because it was the first time you felt those "feelings". This feeling isnt the same as contemporary (here and now) love. If this is the case for you (i.e she was your first), then smile and shrug it off - especially if you are happy with this new clicky lady.

Zefan · 20 May 2006 at 14:25

Agreed with Pickers. It's far easier getting over those feelings if they've been truely nasty to you, which it doesn't sound as if she's been. If you realyl want to get over her try to dwell on the bad things she's done.

Roberta · 20 May 2006 at 14:29

Pickers said:
Was she your first love? Some people say that first loves hold a place in your heart - just because it was the first time you felt those "feelings". This feeling isnt the same as contemporary (here and now) love. If this is the case for you (i.e she was your first), then smile and shrug it off - especially if you are happy with this new clicky lady.

Agreed. It takes time but eventually you can just look back with fondness.