Remembering jokes

markweatherill

markweatherill

markweatherill

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Joined
16 Jun 2009
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Location
Bucks
Someone told me this joke:

I was driving home from the pub and a Policeman pulled me over. He asked me if I'd been drinking and when I got out of my car he said 'You're staggering'. I said 'You're not so bad yourself'.
Ho ho!

Now imagine what it'd be like for someone to tell that joke but only half remember it:

I was driving home from the pub and a Policeman stopped me. He said 'You're gorgeous!' and I said 'It's because I'm drunk'


Or you could ruin your joke by inadvertantly revealing the punchline:
'You know, it's amazing how long the Flintstones have been going. (pause) Fred and Barney. Oh! damn I meant the Stones not the Flintstones


So have you ever started to tell this really funny joke that you heard, only when it came out, it wasn't quite the same?
 
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Doc I keep on forgetting things.
Since when did you have these problems?
What problems?



It's Friday so one for the road...

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. There are some peanuts in a bowl on the counter. They start talking to the man.
"Hey, you're looking pretty hot tonight," they say.

The man thinks it's a bit weird that peanuts are talking to him. But he feels pretty good about being told he looks hot. He decides to play pool and goes over to the change machine to get some coins.

As he is getting the money, the machine says: "You suck at pool, bro. Why do you even bother? In fact, you suck at life."

The man doesn't feel good anymore. He thinks: "Man, something strange is going on in this bar. Maybe I'm hallucinating."

So he goes up to the bar again and he says to the bartender: "What's up with this bar tonight? First the peanuts starts talking to me and telling me I'm hot and now the change machine is telling me I suck! What's going on?!"

"Well," says the bartender.

"The peanuts are complimentary and the change machine is out of order."

Enjoy your weekend. :p
 
Caged: you really need to remove that video due to profanity....

Feels weird with Joan not being around the building anymore.

EDIT: Also... I suck at jokes. I forget them all the time, and half the time I screw them up anyway.
 
I'm rubbish at remembering jokes. When someone asks me what my favourite joke is, I just stammer out something about popeye and Jesus mounting Olive.
 
I can recall jokes if there is trigger. For example if someone is from Liverpool I think of this:

A prostitute walks up to a scouser and asks him if he wants a blowjob for 50 quid. The scouser thinks about for a moment and asks the prostitute if it will effect his dole money.
 
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